i'm so scared and anxious and alone (TW: SH)

[kuuchan]

i've been so incredibly anxious for days about a possible health scare, but the nurses aren't taking me seriously and they did not care that i mentioned that this was causing me so much anxiety and distress that i could barely get out of bed this morning

i relapsed yesterday and s*lf h*rmed after a looong time, to ease the anxiety even for a second. 

it's so stupid. the health thing could very well be nothing. i could be completely fine. but because the nurses at the clinic were so dismissive and nobody will have a look at it, i live in this huge anxious fear that i'm going to die. 

i'm so scared and  alone. i need to wait till morning until i'm allowed to call the clinic again. 

Edited January 14 by kuuchan

[Dangerously_Well]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of fear and anxiety, and it's understandable to feel overwhelmed and alone. Please know that you're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to support you.

It's incredibly brave of you to reach out and share your experiences here. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable, especially when you're feeling scared and dismissed.

It's not "stupid" at all to feel anxious about a possible health scare. Our health is incredibly important, and it's natural to worry when we're feeling unwell. It's especially frustrating when medical professionals don't seem to take our concerns seriously. I have found that people sometimes freeze when talking to healthcare professionals, two possible solutions.

Can you take someone with you, to talk for you and act as an advocate, and if that's not possible, write down beforehand everything you want to say, and if they start being dismissive pass on the letter, that way everything is being said without the pressure of being overwhelmed by their dismissiveness. 

I'm so sorry to hear that you relapsed and self-harmed. Please know that you're not alone in this, and there are resources available to help you cope with these difficult emotions.

It's important to remember that you are strong and resilient, even when you're feeling scared and vulnerable. Please be kind to yourself and reach out for support when you need it. You don't have to go through this alone.

Sending you love and strength. 💖

[kuuchan]

Thank you so much for your genuine response @Dangerously_Well, i feel really embarrassed right now (which happens everytime i have one of these mental episodes). ❤️

But i was finally able to see a doctor, they were very nice and understanding. Crisis is averted, I am fine and have nothing to worry about it seems. The fear was very real for me, and it took me all day yesterday to "get over it", even after being told by a doctor that i was fine and had nothing to worry about

[beanbean]

I truly wish we as people knew how to deal with us as people answering basic questions could have reassured you. Being scared is natural here but whatever the answer is on your heath can’t give up and have to fight like hell . You got this!!

[MasterPhotog]

On 1/14/2025 at 11:49 AM, kuuchan said:

i've been so incredibly anxious for days about a possible health scare, but the nurses aren't taking me seriously and they did not care that i mentioned that this was causing me so much anxiety and distress that i could barely get out of bed this morning

i relapsed yesterday and s*lf h*rmed after a looong time, to ease the anxiety even for a second. 

it's so stupid. the health thing could very well be nothing. i could be completely fine. but because the nurses at the clinic were so dismissive and nobody will have a look at it, i live in this huge anxious fear that i'm going to die. 

i'm so scared and  alone. i need to wait till morning until i'm allowed to call the clinic again. 

@kuuchan 

I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with extreme anxiety due to a possible health scare. It's disheartening that the nurses aren't taking your concerns seriously and are being dismissive.  

It seems that you’ve been communicating with the clinic over the phone rather than in person. Unfortunately, while they’re willing to speak with you on the phone, it appears they may be dismissing you because they don’t stand to gain financially from you as a paying client or through insurance coverage. It's deeply upsetting that while the medical system excels at addressing physical illnesses, it often falls short when it comes to supporting the mental well-being and emotional needs of individuals.  

Although I’m not a professional or connected to the healthcare field, I encourage you to reach out to someone who might be able to help—perhaps a social worker, counselor, or a trusted member of your local community. They could take the time to listen to your concerns and, without expecting financial gain, offer guidance or advocate on your behalf within the medical system.  

In the meantime, please stay strong and continue to be kind and loving to yourself and definitely stay away from s*lf h*rming yourself. Remember . . . you're loved, you're enough, you're special, and matter, just as you're!

Sending you a big virtual hug! 🤗