Ignored the warning signs and red flags, now torn

[spiritual-seeker]

A few days ago I sent a Friend Request to a Little in the forum. From the start there were things amiss with her but I consciously ignored them as I still have hope in humanity and faith that there's more good people out there than bad. 

However the warning signs piled up and there were even red flags so I couldn't ignore them all. Here's a recap.

1. She accepted my FR and added me too, but without checking out my profile first. I told to myself, well some people are like that, maybe she'll check it out later.

2. I asked her if we could go to a chat app (sorry but the messaging system here is too slow, takes 30 minutes to get a message sometimes) she immediately said yes, and she took me to Snapchat saying that's the only app she uses. I personally don't use it as I find it chaotic and I have noticed it's full of scammers and fakes. But said to myself, ok this is the only app she uses...

3. She sent me some pics there. She's very cute, but I couldn't help to notice her avatar there didn't resemble her much. Different hair color, the avatar is full of piercings, and some other differences. But I again just chose not to think much about it. Maybe that's how she wants to be irl? I thought to myself.

4. She told me there that she's 24 while in her profile here she's 26... This was something I couldn't just ignore but still chose to go on. I didn't ask her about the discrepancy. From here forward I was basically in denial mode, knowing something wasn't right but still hoping it was just my overthinking mind...

5. When I showed her my picture she was nonchalant about it and just mentioned I wasn't bad and that she loves my hair. The usual reaction of other littles here have been to politely keep messaging me for that day but ghost me the next day. I get it I'm not an Adonis so I have come to accept such reaction. So when this Little kept talking to me, because I was already on kind of alert mode, I really didn't feel flattered but took it as another warning sign.

6. We never had a real conversation, as in chatting for one or two hours continually. I would text something and she would reply one or two hours later. And this was over the course of the whole day. It felt like she was talking to 20 suitors one at a time and when my turn was up she would reply. I told to myself well what can you expect, she's cute so ofc there's other guys chatting with her and she hasn't decided on someone yet. But what actually was happening was something else, you will see next.

7. Her interactions with me for the first few days were like this: she would be courteous but distant, it didn't feel like she was really interested in me or at least on getting to know me. It was only when I told her to please ask me questions and get to know me that she finally asked a few things.

8. Then one day, out of the blue she told me she had this terrible migraine and asked me to send her "some bucks" (on her own words) to buy the meds for it. That was the red flag...

And suddenly I was "her daddy" (she had no never called me that before neither I asked her to) and she kept going at it, when before it I could hardly get a few sentences out of her every couple hours.

I have this policy of not sending money online to people I hardly know online, and certainly she qualifies for it, even though it saddens me. We had hardly talked for a few days and hardly knew each other. So I didn't send her any. But she kept insisting. I would tell her why it was not practical and she would always find a way. She wanted only 25 dollars, I told her since I don't live in the US it wasn't practical to just send 25, the bank wire alone costs 50. That if she really needed the money to get it with family or friends there. That I would send her 100 or 200 next month. She said she doesn't have any friends (another warning sign?) and that her dad had passed away a year before and she had no other family. Ok here's where I got disarmed. My mind kept turning on itself overthinking. What if that's true? What if she is really all alone and with no one to help her? So I couldn't just walk away. She had me...

Still, that part of me that is the doubting Thomas made some efforts to uncover the truth. I asked her, if she had not even 25 dollars to get meds then how did she manage to get food and pay the bills. (She had told me she's in training on a job without pay) Then she replied that she got some bucks weekly from the training and she survived with it. Kinda contradicting herself...

I told her I didn't have that money in my savings account, that I had almost emptied it to fund my trading accounts (which is actually true) and I wouldn't have access to the money on the trading accounts for some months. She asked not even 25? I said no, it's almost empty. She insisted, not even 20? I said nope. Then she lowered it to 10... You see where this is going? I said that maybe, I wasn't sure because the exchange rate fluctuates daily. 

From then on it has been 3 days of her trying to get 10 miser dollars out of me. And me saying no. It's not the money, it's the principle and the conviction now that I'm being played with. I told her, how am I going to send you only 10 dollars it doesn't make sense. She then wanted me to open an account in a Bitcoin wallet platform and I said I don't mess with Bitcoin. Then she wanted to buy an Apple e-gift card and send her the code. I told her that she could only buy Apple products with it not meds. She said she could sell it to someone else for cash. The more she talked and found solutions to the problems I presented her the more she showed herself to make this on a regular basis, probably daily and for a living. Get 10 dollars here, 25 there, maybe 50 there with the most desperate guy. Now why she talks to you only a few words every 2 hours makes sense isn't it. 

Ok, phew.... After this back and forth for 3 days my mind and my heart finally couldn't take it anymore. I told to myself just send her the effing 25 dollars and be done with it. It's 99.99% that it's a scam but just on the 00.01% chance she's telling the truth, your mind will be at peace. She'll surely vanish after that letting you free...

But I tried to do it my way not hers. I found a site that sends money from my country to the US directly to bank accounts there, and asked her to give me her bank details to deposit the money there. She replied saying she doesn't have a local bank account, only a Cash App card. I was like wtf another red flag... Then she insisted on me buying her the Apple gift card, I told her ok, I'll do it but first we need to get out of this Snapchat, I'm not giving you my personal information here. I told her to get Signal which is the only chat app I really trust. She said she can't use it because her phone is a prepaid number... I was like ok this is enough. All the signs of a scam artist. No way to track her real identity. No bank, no traceable phone, only wanting gift cards...

So I confronted her and told her all this is just too fishy and that I wouldn't buy any gift card for her. She asked why I told her I thought she was fake and trying to scam me, she had the nerve to ask why I thought that. I basically told her what I wrote above. She would still feign ignorance, saying she didn't understand. Then I said, I want to make sure you're a real girl looking for a daddy, not some dude hiding in a basement trying to get a few bucks from multiple gullible guys. Her reply? (2 hours later) "I still don't understand you"

 

Yeah... I know. I'm the one at fault. Chose to believe in goodness.

I'll be taking some time away from the forum, even though I just recently joined. I'll try to digest all this.

I'm sure a part of me will still be saying "you screw up, she was real and she was telling you the truth. You're a heartless, cold man and didn't help her when she really needed someone" 

But sadly the realistic part of me will be saying "you got played man, and you let it go on for too long, it's your fault so blame yourself"

Either way I'm screwed...

 

[Little kaiya]

Listen to yourself because you are DEFINITELY right, EVERYTHING says scammer. Count your blessings that you saw through them and didn't get caught.

Also, report their profile to the admins to help protect others from them.

[daisy_cat]

I'm really sorry about your experience. That kind of stuff is so scary when it comes to interacting with people online 😓 You seem to have such a big and kind heart! Nothing is your fault and I'm glad you were able to firmly call out this scammer. 

Taking a break is totally valid. I take breaks from this forum too often, maybe a week break or so once a month. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself! 😊

 

[beanbean]

1 hour ago, spiritual-seeker said:

A few days ago I sent a Friend Request to a Little in the forum. From the start there were things amiss with her but I consciously ignored them as I still have hope in humanity and faith that there's more good people out there than bad. 

However the warning signs piled up and there were even red flags so I couldn't ignore them all. Here's a recap.

1. She accepted my FR and added me too, but without checking out my profile first. I told to myself, well some people are like that, maybe she'll check it out later.

2. I asked her if we could go to a chat app (sorry but the messaging system here is too slow, takes 30 minutes to get a message sometimes) she immediately said yes, and she took me to Snapchat saying that's the only app she uses. I personally don't use it as I find it chaotic and I have noticed it's full of scammers and fakes. But said to myself, ok this is the only app she uses...

3. She sent me some pics there. She's very cute, but I couldn't help to notice her avatar there didn't resemble her much. Different hair color, the avatar is full of piercings, and some other differences. But I again just chose not to think much about it. Maybe that's how she wants to be irl? I thought to myself.

4. She told me there that she's 24 while in her profile here she's 26... This was something I couldn't just ignore but still chose to go on. I didn't ask her about the discrepancy. From here forward I was basically in denial mode, knowing something wasn't right but still hoping it was just my overthinking mind...

5. When I showed her my picture she was nonchalant about it and just mentioned I wasn't bad and that she loves my hair. The usual reaction of other littles here have been to politely keep messaging me for that day but ghost me the next day. I get it I'm not an Adonis so I have come to accept such reaction. So when this Little kept talking to me, because I was already on kind of alert mode, I really didn't feel flattered but took it as another warning sign.

6. We never had a real conversation, as in chatting for one or two hours continually. I would text something and she would reply one or two hours later. And this was over the course of the whole day. It felt like she was talking to 20 suitors one at a time and when my turn was up she would reply. I told to myself well what can you expect, she's cute so ofc there's other guys chatting with her and she hasn't decided on someone yet. But what actually was happening was something else, you will see next.

7. Her interactions with me for the first few days were like this: she would be courteous but distant, it didn't feel like she was really interested in me or at least on getting to know me. It was only when I told her to please ask me questions and get to know me that she finally asked a few things.

8. Then one day, out of the blue she told me she had this terrible migraine and asked me to send her "some bucks" (on her own words) to buy the meds for it. That was the red flag...

And suddenly I was "her daddy" (she had no never called me that before neither I asked her to) and she kept going at it, when before it I could hardly get a few sentences out of her every couple hours.

I have this policy of not sending money online to people I hardly know online, and certainly she qualifies for it, even though it saddens me. We had hardly talked for a few days and hardly knew each other. So I didn't send her any. But she kept insisting. I would tell her why it was not practical and she would always find a way. She wanted only 25 dollars, I told her since I don't live in the US it wasn't practical to just send 25, the bank wire alone costs 50. That if she really needed the money to get it with family or friends there. That I would send her 100 or 200 next month. She said she doesn't have any friends (another warning sign?) and that her dad had passed away a year before and she had no other family. Ok here's where I got disarmed. My mind kept turning on itself overthinking. What if that's true? What if she is really all alone and with no one to help her? So I couldn't just walk away. She had me...

Still, that part of me that is the doubting Thomas made some efforts to uncover the truth. I asked her, if she had not even 25 dollars to get meds then how did she manage to get food and pay the bills. (She had told me she's in training on a job without pay) Then she replied that she got some bucks weekly from the training and she survived with it. Kinda contradicting herself...

I told her I didn't have that money in my savings account, that I had almost emptied it to fund my trading accounts (which is actually true) and I wouldn't have access to the money on the trading accounts for some months. She asked not even 25? I said no, it's almost empty. She insisted, not even 20? I said nope. Then she lowered it to 10... You see where this is going? I said that maybe, I wasn't sure because the exchange rate fluctuates daily. 

From then on it has been 3 days of her trying to get 10 miser dollars out of me. And me saying no. It's not the money, it's the principle and the conviction now that I'm being played with. I told her, how am I going to send you only 10 dollars it doesn't make sense. She then wanted me to open an account in a Bitcoin wallet platform and I said I don't mess with Bitcoin. Then she wanted to buy an Apple e-gift card and send her the code. I told her that she could only buy Apple products with it not meds. She said she could sell it to someone else for cash. The more she talked and found solutions to the problems I presented her the more she showed herself to make this on a regular basis, probably daily and for a living. Get 10 dollars here, 25 there, maybe 50 there with the most desperate guy. Now why she talks to you only a few words every 2 hours makes sense isn't it. 

Ok, phew.... After this back and forth for 3 days my mind and my heart finally couldn't take it anymore. I told to myself just send her the effing 25 dollars and be done with it. It's 99.99% that it's a scam but just on the 00.01% chance she's telling the truth, your mind will be at peace. She'll surely vanish after that letting you free...

But I tried to do it my way not hers. I found a site that sends money from my country to the US directly to bank accounts there, and asked her to give me her bank details to deposit the money there. She replied saying she doesn't have a local bank account, only a Cash App card. I was like wtf another red flag... Then she insisted on me buying her the Apple gift card, I told her ok, I'll do it but first we need to get out of this Snapchat, I'm not giving you my personal information here. I told her to get Signal which is the only chat app I really trust. She said she can't use it because her phone is a prepaid number... I was like ok this is enough. All the signs of a scam artist. No way to track her real identity. No bank, no traceable phone, only wanting gift cards...

So I confronted her and told her all this is just too fishy and that I wouldn't buy any gift card for her. She asked why I told her I thought she was fake and trying to scam me, she had the nerve to ask why I thought that. I basically told her what I wrote above. She would still feign ignorance, saying she didn't understand. Then I said, I want to make sure you're a real girl looking for a daddy, not some dude hiding in a basement trying to get a few bucks from multiple gullible guys. Her reply? (2 hours later) "I still don't understand you"

 

Yeah... I know. I'm the one at fault. Chose to believe in goodness.

I'll be taking some time away from the forum, even though I just recently joined. I'll try to digest all this.

I'm sure a part of me will still be saying "you screw up, she was real and she was telling you the truth. You're a heartless, cold man and didn't help her when she really needed someone" 

But sadly the realistic part of me will be saying "you got played man, and you let it go on for too long, it's your fault so blame yourself"

Either way I'm screwed...

 

Well sometimes we want something to happen so bad we do ignore are what are brain is telling us it’s just natural but  ya know got to be careful and look at things from all angles always. Also I think I know how you are talking about the same thing happened with me and snap and the migraine .best of luck out there

[PigtailPrincess]

On 1/1/2025 at 4:01 PM, spiritual-seeker said:

A few days ago I sent a Friend Request to a Little in the forum. From the start there were things amiss with her but I consciously ignored them as I still have hope in humanity and faith that there's more good people out there than bad. 

However the warning signs piled up and there were even red flags so I couldn't ignore them all. Here's a recap.

1. She accepted my FR and added me too, but without checking out my profile first. I told to myself, well some people are like that, maybe she'll check it out later.

2. I asked her if we could go to a chat app (sorry but the messaging system here is too slow, takes 30 minutes to get a message sometimes) she immediately said yes, and she took me to Snapchat saying that's the only app she uses. I personally don't use it as I find it chaotic and I have noticed it's full of scammers and fakes. But said to myself, ok this is the only app she uses...

3. She sent me some pics there. She's very cute, but I couldn't help to notice her avatar there didn't resemble her much. Different hair color, the avatar is full of piercings, and some other differences. But I again just chose not to think much about it. Maybe that's how she wants to be irl? I thought to myself.

4. She told me there that she's 24 while in her profile here she's 26... This was something I couldn't just ignore but still chose to go on. I didn't ask her about the discrepancy. From here forward I was basically in denial mode, knowing something wasn't right but still hoping it was just my overthinking mind...

5. When I showed her my picture she was nonchalant about it and just mentioned I wasn't bad and that she loves my hair. The usual reaction of other littles here have been to politely keep messaging me for that day but ghost me the next day. I get it I'm not an Adonis so I have come to accept such reaction. So when this Little kept talking to me, because I was already on kind of alert mode, I really didn't feel flattered but took it as another warning sign.

6. We never had a real conversation, as in chatting for one or two hours continually. I would text something and she would reply one or two hours later. And this was over the course of the whole day. It felt like she was talking to 20 suitors one at a time and when my turn was up she would reply. I told to myself well what can you expect, she's cute so ofc there's other guys chatting with her and she hasn't decided on someone yet. But what actually was happening was something else, you will see next.

7. Her interactions with me for the first few days were like this: she would be courteous but distant, it didn't feel like she was really interested in me or at least on getting to know me. It was only when I told her to please ask me questions and get to know me that she finally asked a few things.

8. Then one day, out of the blue she told me she had this terrible migraine and asked me to send her "some bucks" (on her own words) to buy the meds for it. That was the red flag...

And suddenly I was "her daddy" (she had no never called me that before neither I asked her to) and she kept going at it, when before it I could hardly get a few sentences out of her every couple hours.

I have this policy of not sending money online to people I hardly know online, and certainly she qualifies for it, even though it saddens me. We had hardly talked for a few days and hardly knew each other. So I didn't send her any. But she kept insisting. I would tell her why it was not practical and she would always find a way. She wanted only 25 dollars, I told her since I don't live in the US it wasn't practical to just send 25, the bank wire alone costs 50. That if she really needed the money to get it with family or friends there. That I would send her 100 or 200 next month. She said she doesn't have any friends (another warning sign?) and that her dad had passed away a year before and she had no other family. Ok here's where I got disarmed. My mind kept turning on itself overthinking. What if that's true? What if she is really all alone and with no one to help her? So I couldn't just walk away. She had me...

Still, that part of me that is the doubting Thomas made some efforts to uncover the truth. I asked her, if she had not even 25 dollars to get meds then how did she manage to get food and pay the bills. (She had told me she's in training on a job without pay) Then she replied that she got some bucks weekly from the training and she survived with it. Kinda contradicting herself...

I told her I didn't have that money in my savings account, that I had almost emptied it to fund my trading accounts (which is actually true) and I wouldn't have access to the money on the trading accounts for some months. She asked not even 25? I said no, it's almost empty. She insisted, not even 20? I said nope. Then she lowered it to 10... You see where this is going? I said that maybe, I wasn't sure because the exchange rate fluctuates daily. 

From then on it has been 3 days of her trying to get 10 miser dollars out of me. And me saying no. It's not the money, it's the principle and the conviction now that I'm being played with. I told her, how am I going to send you only 10 dollars it doesn't make sense. She then wanted me to open an account in a Bitcoin wallet platform and I said I don't mess with Bitcoin. Then she wanted to buy an Apple e-gift card and send her the code. I told her that she could only buy Apple products with it not meds. She said she could sell it to someone else for cash. The more she talked and found solutions to the problems I presented her the more she showed herself to make this on a regular basis, probably daily and for a living. Get 10 dollars here, 25 there, maybe 50 there with the most desperate guy. Now why she talks to you only a few words every 2 hours makes sense isn't it. 

Ok, phew.... After this back and forth for 3 days my mind and my heart finally couldn't take it anymore. I told to myself just send her the effing 25 dollars and be done with it. It's 99.99% that it's a scam but just on the 00.01% chance she's telling the truth, your mind will be at peace. She'll surely vanish after that letting you free...

But I tried to do it my way not hers. I found a site that sends money from my country to the US directly to bank accounts there, and asked her to give me her bank details to deposit the money there. She replied saying she doesn't have a local bank account, only a Cash App card. I was like wtf another red flag... Then she insisted on me buying her the Apple gift card, I told her ok, I'll do it but first we need to get out of this Snapchat, I'm not giving you my personal information here. I told her to get Signal which is the only chat app I really trust. She said she can't use it because her phone is a prepaid number... I was like ok this is enough. All the signs of a scam artist. No way to track her real identity. No bank, no traceable phone, only wanting gift cards...

So I confronted her and told her all this is just too fishy and that I wouldn't buy any gift card for her. She asked why I told her I thought she was fake and trying to scam me, she had the nerve to ask why I thought that. I basically told her what I wrote above. She would still feign ignorance, saying she didn't understand. Then I said, I want to make sure you're a real girl looking for a daddy, not some dude hiding in a basement trying to get a few bucks from multiple gullible guys. Her reply? (2 hours later) "I still don't understand you"

 

Yeah... I know. I'm the one at fault. Chose to believe in goodness.

I'll be taking some time away from the forum, even though I just recently joined. I'll try to digest all this.

I'm sure a part of me will still be saying "you screw up, she was real and she was telling you the truth. You're a heartless, cold man and didn't help her when she really needed someone" 

But sadly the realistic part of me will be saying "you got played man, and you let it go on for too long, it's your fault so blame yourself"

Either way I'm screwed...

 

Hey there friend. First off I am so sorry. We are careful but there is only so much we can protect yall from.

Second I understand if you still wanna take a break but there are alot of us l9okimg for real connections and not wanting anything more than time and effort in return.

Third if you don't mind messaging me I am one of the ones who looks into these things and makes sure things stay above water. I can't ever garuntee anything but I would for sure be interested in knowing more.

[Josey Wales]

I can sympathize with you. It’s been my experience that if you can’t build meaningful conversation here do not move to chat   I agree the messaging here is slow but it’s a useful tool to get to know someone. Patience is the key word , never rush where you feel the warning signs , don’t beat yourself up to thinking you should have helped her. Good luck in the future ! 

[SoftHeartHardKinks]

First of all, let me just point that you do deserve credit for thinking straight throughout all of this an being able to lay it out rationally to that extent. Not everyone can think this efficiently and it will surely serve you well when it comes to taking care of any future Little.

It goes without saying that you came to the right conclusions and deducted it all correctly but I'd really like to stress the fact that you aren't to blame here. Your instinct as Caregiver is to protect, nurture, assist and mend hurt. No matter how difficult, flawed or broken someone is, you will always feel this urge. It comes naturally, sets on strongly and gives you high conviction to act on. Without that you'd not be able to sustain a loving, caring role in a dynamic and just burn out quickly. That's all a good thing so far and simply speaks highly of your character.

The sad truth you had to discover is that others can use your tendencies against you. That happens to everyone with their own individual personal traits and situations at some point in life but no matter whom it affects and what it is, we should not let bad experiences change healthy and good emotional responses. Let's be clear here: The only part that really went wrong is that you eventually let emotions override rational thought and instincts. We all have ups and downs as we go throughout daily life, which greatly affect how vulnerable we are to outside influence. The longer emotions persist, the more likely we are to give in eventually. That's all it was and it's hard to manage or get right until you have made a bad experience to reflect upon. You now did, at very cost (at least compared to some of the more costly mistakes I've made in life), so you learned from it and can move on to become stronger and wiser. That's not too bad an outcome. Don't let it deter you from your path.

Personally I've sadly learned the very hard way, at great emotional and finacial expense, that rejecting someone and letting them deal with their situation is sometimes the only way. Some people are out to burn themselves and everyone they come in touch with down, to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. There's no saving the unwilling, there's no taking care of them, they need to want a constructive interaction or it's just to one's own detriment.

[LeftyGuitar]

Sorry to hear that. Yeah those are all common signs someone is a scammer or trying to scam you. Hopefully you feel better. While ghosting is frowned upon, its okay to ghost a scammer.

[LeftyGuitar]

On 1/16/2025 at 12:50 PM, KingVyn said:

Parental Love showed his fake Ego to me and my pup just recently. Poor man was wanting it his way, and making fun of me reaching out to people to help me learn to be a better caregiver to my little. He called out and said how “pathetic my pup and I were”

 

I have all the screenshots 

just don’t know where to report so we can rid him from the group 

You can report to @shadowrider - the site admin.