Kryssi's poetry page.

[kryssi01]

TW many of my poems deal with depression, loss, hints at SH. Its how I work through those thoughts and feelings.

I welcome and constructive criticism as I plan to publish very soon. 

[kryssi01]

Title: She is Me

As the storm rages 

Outside and in her heart 

She questions everything 

When did it all fall apart 

Broken and turned to ashes

Did it happen at the start

Take all these pictures 

Turn them into art

Their memories scream 

and she thought she was smart

 

She lies in the dark 

Racing thoughts and insecurity 

Restless barely sleeping

Nightmares follow horridly

Crying in her pillows 

Bottled emotions spill with certainty

Silenced in the daylight 

Fake smiles she gives as currency 

One foot in front of the other

Until hurt fades into obscurity 

 

She rises from the rubble

From the life of pain

Washing away the tears 

They fell like heavy rain

It softened the soil when

Flowers bloomed in what remain 

In fields of colors she dances 

With everything to gain

Looking back she smiles

For she know it wasn't in vain. 

 

Edited December 29, 2024 by kryssi01
Photo

[kryssi01]

Title: showers

 

One thing that no one mentions enough 
When you live with chronic pain and depression 
Is how impossible it can be to do something 
As simple as taking a shower.

You want to be clean but you know,
It will take all your energy for the day
You will be in pain physically.
The mental toll it takes
To wash away days or weeks of 
Self loathing because you should be 
Able to do this simple task
But its not simple at all

It hurts to undress
The water hurts your skin
Your arms shake as you scrub 
your scalp again and again and again.


Then move down a body 
You don't recognize anymore.
You cry, as your hair
Is swirling down, down, down the drain 

Shut off the water, 
shut off the tears
You are exhausted already.
You dress yourself, 
Brush your hair. 

You feel clean. An accomplishment!
But still depressed by what
This simple task takes.

 

Edited December 29, 2024 by kryssi01

[kryssi01]

Title: Angel Baby (working title)

 

I love you though we said goodbye
Before we even met.
Ten tiny fingers and toes,
would you have looked like your older siblings
Did you have a brilliant neuro divergent brain? Autism lives and loves here.
Did you have a head of light red hair and piercing blue eyes?
My child, were you a daughter or son?
My angel in heaven
my heart hurts from your loss.
A piece of me is gone.
A gaping hole in my body, in my heart,
and in my soul.
I feel so broken, irreparable, and yet
My heart knew your heart
and you wait for me beyond
You angel baby of mine.

 

Edited December 29, 2024 by kryssi01

[kryssi01]

Carries

 

when she carries

 too much, 

but picks others up

from the ground

 

when the echos 

of her past

chase away the sun,

she chases a release 

 

longing to scream into the void

Im here dammit, 

see me calling for help

Instead she sits there silent.

 

tears fall in the dark, 

he inner voice is second-guessing

Her reasons, her worthiness 

The pain is overwhelming 

 

hide the truth, smile for them

A puppet on a string

put your mask in place

like a porcelain doll 

 

long stretches of quiet 

scare her, more than

 facing a firing squad 

she has been in front 

of the bullets before 

 

She remembers 

Shouting, slammed doors and insults,

Each bullet 

hitting its mark

 

She carves it out

In measures

of lines upon her skin

 

Gather up 

the ribbons of red

She doesn't 

Make a mess

 

Its just another

thing she carries 

[Andriel_Isilien]

These poems are so good  Such feelings and expressions!

[kryssi01]

6 hours ago, Andriel_Isilien said:

These poems are so good  Such feelings and expressions!

Thank you!

[kryssi01]

Death Takes

 

I'm not scared to die

But I fear what death takes

What it will take away from us all

My children without a mother

 

Missing precious moments

Graduations and accomplishments

 with an empty seat

Watching first loves and last loves

Marriage and babies 

 

Never knowing my Grandchildren 

Just a story to them

Will there be a happy life for them

After I am dead and gone

I'm not afraid to die

But I am scared of what death takes

[kryssi01]

Still hurting

 

6 months, 182 days. 

I miss you every moment.

30 million heartbeats without you 

It hurts like we lost you just yesterday. 

I'm in pain physically and emotionally. 

Trying to be happy with what I have. 

Not what I lost.

I visit your grave and 

talked to you for hours. 

I am still sorry 

I missed seeing you one last time. 

I feel closer to you here. 

In the home we built memories in. 

Mom gave me your old watch

its like holding a piece of you. 

I was given one of your favorite shirts. 

It still smells like you.

My heart isn't as heavy 

But it will break me 

when I have to go back home. 

[kryssi01]

Missed

 

I miss my good morning texts 

and our daily video chats. 

I miss his smile, his smell, 

his jokes, and his laughs. 

I miss watching his shows

And talking about them after.

I miss him giving me crap about my sleep shorts. I miss his grilling. 

I miss his concerns about me getting healthy. I miss his hugs and kisses.

But most of all I miss him. 

[kryssi01]

Wish

 

I wish I had

met you before I was so damaged

I wish you knew 

The girl I was before 

I wish you didn't 

Get the pieces of me 

I wanted you to have

The very best of me

 

Instead, you get

The broken me

I wish I could

hide my scars 

I hate that 

I am messy

 

I'm sorry 

For my insecurities 

Please look past

My pain, my neediness.

 

Please don't leave me 

Hold me through the storm 

I wish I was stronger 

But please don't let me fall

 

I may try to push you away,

Anger, and confuse you.

I don't mean it,

That is when I need you the most

 

I'm trying to be better 

To be happy and whole

I promise. Please 

I won't be this forever.

[kryssi01]

So I published all these poems in my first book on Amazon. I'm proud and anxious about it. I hope that my writing connects with people and it is well recieved. 

[Daddy-dom]

Impressive and beautiful work...bravo!💙