How do you know?

[HopeMuffin]

How can you tell as a little if you're ready to mingle and put yourself out there? I've been off social media and "dating" apps to prevent me from negatively comparing myself to others. But even the thought of talking to someone you find interesting can be thrilling, embarrassing, and intimidating. So, how do you recognize within yourself that you're truly ready to make this move? 

Thank you for any advice. 🫂

[LunaLilac]

I think its different for everyone, but I for me its a question of, have I moved on and  am able to move past previous situations? And am I ready to see, be with, and have a healthy connection with someone else?

 

I don't think its really a matter of littlespace or not, its a matter of just being able to approach a new connection healthily with no hang ups or regrets about what's happened before, because bringing that in on someone else isn't really good for anyone.

 

As for making the first step period, yeah it can be embarrassing or scary absolutely, but what's the worst case scenario? you get ignored or told off, that's it, and its from a total stranger that doesn't know you so its not like either of you have personal investment or a reason to hold on to the interaction to worry about. the fact is things can only  get better if you take the step, it's scary but its the only way to make things better, so just do it and stop holding yourself back. 

Edited November 23, 2024 by LunaLilac

[Gambit]

i think LunaLilac has the right idea, i only started dating when i felt ready to put prior problems behind me, and connect with someone new. and i honestly do suggest, tell someone about your little side BEFORE you get engaged or god forbid Married!! some people don't react kindly, but i will say more people are open to it than you think. id say try finding like-minded people on places like FetLife or OKCupid (i used okc to find my current fiance) where you can display your interests and i loved doing the personality quizzes on okc, not sure if they still do that, i heard okc got significantly worse after i left there (because i was in a happy monogamous relationship of course.) find bdsm munches in your area/state/province for more luck!

additionally, be ready to admit that you have baggage and problems not to your partner, but to yourself!! be willing to admit you're wrong if you realize you're wrong in an argument. but also, don't let anyone hurt you emotionally as punishment (unless you like degradation, i mostly say this in Abusive situations) for small things you've done, there's lots of good guides here to check for red flags!! ddlg/cgl can be a big power dynamic and some doms aren't worth their salt (usually the ones that are REALLY strict and controlling right off the bat... that's something you've gotta work up to.) 

and all this aside, be sure to have fun! everyone loves having a best friend in their house! don't take a notch down on your standards because they accept you being little-- find someone you actually like! and i know people love to ghost online... don't get too upset when people don't respond!! i know i sent dozens of reaches out on okc and got.... 90% ignored lol.

[Brattylilprincess]

I was single for a long time before I met my daddy
The reason for it was that I wanted to heal, I felt not ready for something new and I didn't want anything new. So I actually just lived my life until one day where I decided to just chat again with people. It was on another DDLG Forum and there I found my current daddy. Healing was not easy and I still heal - But we heal now together, helping each other.

Communication is a big thing when you put yourself out there, it helps hella lot to grow, on your own, or even in a relationship. For the question with the feeling - tbh I just felt it one day. I felt like I have forgiven my ex boyfriend and forgiven myself and was just fully over him - I wanted to reach that point before dating again.

If you are scared or even your guts telling you no, then just wait a lil longer, it's something no one really can give you an straight answer  cause at the end you must feel ready for it again. Just don't do that mistake and put yourself out there cause you want love, went there, ended never well.

If you feel okay enough to maybe try and you are able to reflect on your own actions and maybe detect red flags on that way then you are good to go.

Just listen to your heart and if something feels off or embarrassing try to figure out if its really something (an action or something they said) or if its just your head trying to sabotage That helped me a lot:)

I wish you all the best luck tho💞

[HopeMuffin]

3 hours ago, LunaLilac said:

I think its different for everyone, but I for me its a question of, have I moved on and  am able to move past previous situations? And am I ready to see, be with, and have a healthy connection with someone else?

 

I don't think its really a matter of littlespace or not, its a matter of just being able to approach a new connection healthily with no hang ups or regrets about what's happened before, because bringing that in on someone else isn't really good for anyone.

 

As for making the first step period, yeah it can be embarrassing or scary absolutely, but what's the worst case scenario? you get ignored or told off, that's it, and its from a total stranger that doesn't know you so its not like either of you have personal investment or a reason to hold on to the interaction to worry about. the fact is things can only  get better if you take the step, it's scary but its the only way to make things better, so just do it and stop holding yourself back. 

Thank you so much for being real; I needed this.

[HopeMuffin]

2 hours ago, Gambit said:

i think LunaLilac has the right idea, i only started dating when i felt ready to put prior problems behind me, and connect with someone new. and i honestly do suggest, tell someone about your little side BEFORE you get engaged or god forbid Married!! some people don't react kindly, but i will say more people are open to it than you think. id say try finding like-minded people on places like FetLife or OKCupid (i used okc to find my current fiance) where you can display your interests and i loved doing the personality quizzes on okc, not sure if they still do that, i heard okc got significantly worse after i left there (because i was in a happy monogamous relationship of course.) find bdsm munches in your area/state/province for more luck!

additionally, be ready to admit that you have baggage and problems not to your partner, but to yourself!! be willing to admit you're wrong if you realize you're wrong in an argument. but also, don't let anyone hurt you emotionally as punishment (unless you like degradation, i mostly say this in Abusive situations) for small things you've done, there's lots of good guides here to check for red flags!! ddlg/cgl can be a big power dynamic and some doms aren't worth their salt (usually the ones that are REALLY strict and controlling right off the bat... that's something you've gotta work up to.) 

and all this aside, be sure to have fun! everyone loves having a best friend in their house! don't take a notch down on your standards because they accept you being little-- find someone you actually like! and i know people love to ghost online... don't get too upset when people don't respond!! i know i sent dozens of reaches out on okc and got.... 90% ignored lol.

Thank you for your advice. I will do my best to protect myself from red flags. Normally, I'm quick to spot my mistakes but am always willing to grow. Whenever I do get involved with someone, I will for sure tell them about my little side. 

[HopeMuffin]

1 hour ago, Brattylilprincess said:

I was single for a long time before I met my daddy
The reason for it was that I wanted to heal, I felt not ready for something new and I didn't want anything new. So I actually just lived my life until one day where I decided to just chat again with people. It was on another DDLG Forum and there I found my current daddy. Healing was not easy and I still heal - But we heal now together, helping each other.

Communication is a big thing when you put yourself out there, it helps hella lot to grow, on your own, or even in a relationship. For the question with the feeling - tbh I just felt it one day. I felt like I have forgiven my ex boyfriend and forgiven myself and was just fully over him - I wanted to reach that point before dating again.

If you are scared or even your guts telling you no, then just wait a lil longer, it's something no one really can give you an straight answer  cause at the end you must feel ready for it again. Just don't do that mistake and put yourself out there cause you want love, went there, ended never well.

If you feel okay enough to maybe try and you are able to reflect on your own actions and maybe detect red flags on that way then you are good to go.

Just listen to your heart and if something feels off or embarrassing try to figure out if its really something (an action or something they said) or if its just your head trying to sabotage That helped me a lot:)

I wish you all the best luck tho💞

Thank you for taking the time to explain your story and offer me support, it means a mountain. 

[Guest weirdunicorn]

no advice just here to read comments bc i empathize with your current predicament. 

[beanbean]

On 11/23/2024 at 6:17 PM, HopeMuffin said:

How can you tell as a little if you're ready to mingle and put yourself out there? I've been off social media and "dating" apps to prevent me from negatively comparing myself to others. But even the thought of talking to someone you find interesting can be thrilling, embarrassing, and intimidating. So, how do you recognize within yourself that you're truly ready to make this move? 

Thank you for any advice. 🫂

I think you just got to trust yourself maybe read the forums try to figure out what you want and know your boundaries