Does Conversation Scare Folks these Days?

[PigtailPrincess]

Ok before I say it i will admit that I myself have a hard time knowing when to conversate and whatnot but this is more like when I first meet someone and we are talking.

I talk ALOT and I just noticed something. I feel like in the last few years that people I try to talk to wether for friends or a CG that it seems when I am my normal majorly talkative self, I tend to get people not wanting to talk.

So my question is: Do you feel people want a more casual relationship these days? Or do ypu just feel we are all caught up in this crazy world and wish we could spend up more?

Saturday food for thought!!!

[DaddyRaven]

i see this a lot too;  one thing I can't stand is when you try to have a convo with someone and every answer you get back is a one word reply.  Like damn, if you're this boring online, i'd hate to see how boring you are in person.  One of the hottest things I can think of is being able to actually converse with someone for more than 2 minutes and have a productive line of communication.  Without that, it's really not going to work, even on a friendship level.  

[Definitiv]

I assume that no one enjoys one-sided conversations. That said I think that nowadays a lot of people are so used to one word or one line responses via social media that they just aren't used to hold a full conversation. 

[Kali]

Conversation is a lost art. *nod* 

I too can be very chatty. I share, ask questions and comment. You know, show interest in getting to know someone. 😏 

I understand that some have little practice or messaging isn't their thing. However, when peeps stop asking questions or putting effort in responses... that's when I start disengaging.

If I'm on the fence with how to gauge interest, I'll be direct about it. It gets mixed results. LOL But sometimes it does prompt a convo about communication styles so we can adapt. 🙂 

In my experience, there are also those folks who want that instant I can talk to you for hours connections. They're quick to move on if that doesn't happen. *shrug* 

I dunno. I'd have missed out on some pretty great friends if I hadn't taken the time to get to know them and understand their communication styles. 

[beanbean]

I think for many reasons this happens first and foremost mostis there are certain some people feel like they can't bring up anymore and that seeps into most topics sadly also electronics killed a lot of the personal aspects of it lol . people are much less likely to go to a coffee shop and shoot the breeze 

[shadowrider]

 I agree conversation is a lost or dying art. I was hopeful that might change when the lockdowns happened and everyone was spending time talking online. But the one word or unenthusiastic replies remain today.

 I have a mailbox full of what I would call unfinished conversations. People just disappear. And I decided long ago that I'm not chasing a conversation. If you wanna talk I'm here, if you disappear I may reach out once to see if you're good. After that I'm done. My time is too short to chase anyone that can't show interest in the answers I give to the questions they asked.  

 There are 2 kinds of people, those that want to be in your life in some way, shape, or form, and those that are just a distraction. I have a limited amount of time left on this Earth and have no time for distractions. Casual chats are fine but make it clear that is what you're after and keep the topics light. Don't tell someone you want to get to know them and then delete a day or 2 later. If you want to waste your time that's on you, don't waste someone else's.

[PigtailPrincess]

Oh my goodness!! Thank you guys! Waking up to this many thoughtful responses was amazing.  And now I will reply lol may take me a while.

[OuO Alexibaaa]

I'm, personally, not afraid of conversation. I admit I was pleasantly suprised at how much longer the responses are here. I've both seen and taken part of, long winded ramblings.

But, while I enjoy bigger conversations, sometimes irl steps in the way. And unfortunately, I'll outright forget to respond to someone.

I do also enjoy the more casual chatter as well, but I don't always respond to those right away. Though, I try to avoid one word responses, even if the conversation is lighthearted.

I'm not that boring, and I'm sure you're not that bored. ♡

 

 

[PigtailPrincess]

3 hours ago, DaddyRaven said:

i see this a lot too;  one thing I can't stand is when you try to have a convo with someone and every answer you get back is a one word reply.  Like damn, if you're this boring online, i'd hate to see how boring you are in person.  One of the hottest things I can think of is being able to actually converse with someone for more than 2 minutes and have a productive line of communication.  Without that, it's really not going to work, even on a friendship level.  

I guess boring isn't the word I would use as I don't feel like folks are there for my pleasure but the one word thing is totally true. I need to have some9ne I feel like cares and one or two wors doesn't do it.

[PigtailPrincess]

3 hours ago, Definitiv said:

I assume that no one enjoys one-sided conversations. That said I think that nowadays a lot of people are so used to one word or one line responses via social media that they just aren't used to hold a full conversation. 

Yeahthat is 100% true. It's like the c0nversation that is expected has totally shifted and now casual is the norm.

[PigtailPrincess]

2 hours ago, Kali said:

Conversation is a lost art. *nod* 

I too can be very chatty. I share, ask questions and comment. You know, show interest in getting to know someone. 😏 

I understand that some have little practice or messaging isn't their thing. However, when peeps stop asking questions or putting effort in responses... that's when I start disengaging.

If I'm on the fence with how to gauge interest, I'll be direct about it. It gets mixed results. LOL But sometimes it does prompt a convo about communication styles so we can adapt. 🙂 

In my experience, there are also those folks who want that instant I can talk to you for hours connections. They're quick to move on if that doesn't happen. *shrug* 

I dunno. I'd have missed out on some pretty great friends if I hadn't taken the time to get to know them and understand their communication styles. 

Love that you called it an art because for some folks it very much is.

Yesss. I mean I try not to hold it against some9ne but I cannot spend quality time with someone qhen I have to do all the work effort and whatnot. What do you say to those people. I feel bad just not respond8ng but also... what is there to respond to.

I am guilty of fast intensity in conversation but I would never move on if someone couldn't. For me it's abput intent.

[PigtailPrincess]

1 hour ago, beanbean said:

I think for many reasons this happens first and foremost mostis there are certain some people feel like they can't bring up anymore and that seeps into most topics sadly also electronics killed a lot of the personal aspects of it lol . people are much less likely to go to a coffee shop and shoot the breeze 

Wait are you saying folks seem to not feel able to talk abput things anymore? Just mak8ng sure I am reading it right 

[PigtailPrincess]

27 minutes ago, shadowrider said:

 I agree conversation is a lost or dying art. I was hopeful that might change when the lockdowns happened and everyone was spending time talking online. But the one word or unenthusiastic replies remain today.

 I have a mailbox full of what I would call unfinished conversations. People just disappear. And I decided long ago that I'm not chasing a conversation. If you wanna talk I'm here, if you disappear I may reach out once to see if you're good. After that I'm done. My time is too short to chase anyone that can't show interest in the answers I give to the questions they asked.  

 There are 2 kinds of people, those that want to be in your life in some way, shape, or form, and those that are just a distraction. I have a limited amount of time left on this Earth and have no time for distractions. Casual chats are fine but make it clear that is what you're after and keep the topics light. Don't tell someone you want to get to know them and then delete a day or 2 later. If you want to waste your time that's on you, don't waste someone else's.

I agree. And honestly I don't know about you but it does drain me and those negative interactions make me less hopeful for the next person if that makes sense.

I guess for me I resonate with what you said when you mention how strange it is that folks come in claiming to want closeness and deep and all that and then a few days later it isn't their thing.

[PigtailPrincess]

9 minutes ago, OuO Alexibaaa said:

I'm, personally, not afraid of conversation. I admit I was pleasantly suprised at how much longer the responses are here. I've both seen and taken part of, long winded ramblings.

But, while I enjoy bigger conversations, sometimes irl steps in the way. And unfortunately, I'll outright forget to respond to someone.

I do also enjoy the more casual chatter as well, but I don't always respond to those right away. Though, I try to avoid one word responses, even if the conversation is lighthearted.

I'm not that boring, and I'm sure you're not that bored. ♡

 

 

Oh nuuu I hope you didn't think I was trying to have a pointed reply lol because I promise I wasn't.  I just think alot of us including me forget that folks arnt there for us the get something put of. But rather it is a shared experience that means something.

 

I think you also brought up a really good point in that we feel the need for deep c0nversati9n, going as far as avoiding the casual stuff, and then we are too tired or overwhelmed to have the difficult deep conversation even if we want it

[OuO Alexibaaa]

12 minutes ago, PigtailPrincess said:

Oh nuuu I hope you didn't think I was trying to have a pointed reply lol because I promise I wasn't.  I just think alot of us including me forget that folks arnt there for us the get something put of. But rather it is a shared experience that means something.

 

I think you also brought up a really good point in that we feel the need for deep c0nversati9n, going as far as avoiding the casual stuff, and then we are too tired or overwhelmed to have the difficult deep conversation even if we want it

I also have a habit of rambling. Mixed ramblings while being heavily opinionated.... text emotion isn't a reliable way to confirm that I'm not actually angry. 😅

But yeah, deep conversations take a lot out of us. Mix that with an already demanding irl and you've been ghosted, lol.

[PigtailPrincess]

6 minutes ago, OuO Alexibaaa said:

I also have a habit of rambling. Mixed ramblings while being heavily opinionated.... text emotion isn't a reliable way to confirm that I'm not actually angry. 😅

But yeah, deep conversations take a lot out of us. Mix that with an already demanding irl and you've been ghosted, lol.

Yesssssss!!! I don't the same. I have a direct communication styles and I think it definitely takes some folks a while to get used to. I'm not rude though I promise.

Yeah you are right. I guess I just personally wish people would be more honest about the busy in their lives.

[OuO Alexibaaa]

17 minutes ago, PigtailPrincess said:

Yesssssss!!! I don't the same. I have a direct communication styles and I think it definitely takes some folks a while to get used to. I'm not rude though I promise.

Yeah you are right. I guess I just personally wish people would be more honest about the busy in their lives.

Text emotion is so much fun to decorate with emotes though!

🌧🌦 🌈 🐑 ☁️⛅ 🐏 🌧 🚀 🦄

Or at least properly end a conversation by saying goodbye 👋🙃

 

[beanbean]

52 minutes ago, PigtailPrincess said:

Wait are you saying folks seem to not feel able to talk abput things anymore? Just mak8ng sure I am reading it right i

I think so people are polarized to a huge degree that people are genuinely confused on what they can say a

Tho I will say when you talk to people we are not as different as people think I think there is some hope 

[NR_Daddy]

I think that some people are wary of others, and conditions like anxiety and depression can make people introverted. I usually try to give people a chance with conversations to give them time to come out of their shell.
Society also has a big problem where people are scared to talk about their thoughts, for fear of being vilified for their opinon because we live in such an intolerant society.

That being said, I've been in conversations where one day they just stop replying and ghost, or I get warning signs of them either contradicting themselves or saying one thing and acting in a completely different way.

By far the biggest problem I have with conversations is when several things get mentioned in a reply to someone, and when I get a response, it's only about one of the things I mentioned. Other parts of the discussion aren't replied to and I'm left thinking "what about the other things I said?"

People who can converse really well are pretty rare, but are mentally stimulating.

Edited November 16, 2024 by NR_Daddy

[Dragon_Kitty]

I also see this a lot as well. I enjoy talking to people and getting to know them. But the one word or direct answers are disappointing and makes it hard to have a conversation with others. There doesn't seem to be an interest in truly getting to know people anymore. 

On the flip side I am afraid to come off as nosy or afraid that I'll inadvertently ask too personal types of questions. Of course I don't mean to, I am just genuinely trying to get to know people and make friends. I mean, that's why we're on here right? To make friends and meet people? I also worry about coming off as clingy or weird so I hesitate sometimes and second guess myself as well. 

It's a lonely world we live in and it just seems to be getting even more lonely as time goes on. 

[PigtailPrincess]

2 hours ago, NR_Daddy said:

I think that some people are wary of others, and conditions like anxiety and depression can make people introverted. I usually try to give people a chance with conversations to give them time to come out of their shell.
Society also has a big problem where people are scared to talk about their thoughts, for fear of being vilified for their opinon because we live in such an intolerant society.

That being said, I've been in conversations where one day they just stop replying and ghost, or I get warning signs of them either contradicting themselves or saying one thing and acting in a completely different way.

By far the biggest problem I have with conversations is when several things get mentioned in a reply to someone, and when I get a response, it's only about one of the things I mentioned. Other parts of the discussion aren't replied to and I'm left thinking "what about the other things I said?"

People who can converse really well are pretty rare, but are mentally stimulating.

Thank you for the thoughtful reply.

So I think you hit it perfectly in that first line when you talk abput waryness. I myself find i don't come to relationships with the same unbridled excitement I used to. People have reacted poorly and I suppose I have a bit of a complex. The disorders also make sense but I feel like it can be an easy put for folks. 

As someone with mental disorders I see what some folks do and it does confuse me. For instance when they reply one word to me and then a whole paragraph elsewhere. 

I get the person liking something else better, I just always feel they are nov8ng 0n without really communicating that to the other person and it makes me sad.

I always want folks to be honest with me and while it hurts to hear you arnt it for them it still helps me way more.

Yesssss the shipping thing!!! Like I tend to reply at odd hours and I yammer alot so sometimes there can be a chunk overnight, but I only do that if the person encouraged it, so when they wake up and comment on one part of 6 things I was excited to hear them and that is a letdown.

I think also at the end of the day I DO just talk alot and it's ok that isn't everyone's thing. Speaking of, this is long, I'm sorry. Got excited lol.

Yeah I am alone alot so conversation really helps me get through the day

[PigtailPrincess]

2 hours ago, OuO Alexibaaa said:

Text emotion is so much fun to decorate with emotes though!

🌧🌦 🌈 🐑 ☁️⛅ 🐏 🌧 🚀 🦄

Or at least properly end a conversation by saying goodbye 👋🙃

 

Yeah I do love a good decoration 🤣🤣

Goodbye wpuld be nice. I mean casual conversations whatever but if folks were obviously onto something and they just end it but don't say? Not cool

[PigtailPrincess]

2 hours ago, beanbean said:

I think so people are polarized to a huge degree that people are genuinely confused on what they can say a

Tho I will say when you talk to people we are not as different as people think I think there is some hope 

For sure! Which is party of why I started this topic. Hoping we can ALL get insight and become better at communicating

[PigtailPrincess]

1 hour ago, Dragon_Kitty said:

I also see this a lot as well. I enjoy talking to people and getting to know them. But the one word or direct answers are disappointing and makes it hard to have a conversation with others. There doesn't seem to be an interest in truly getting to know people anymore. 

On the flip side I am afraid to come off as nosy or afraid that I'll inadvertently ask too personal types of questions. Of course I don't mean to, I am just genuinely trying to get to know people and make friends. I mean, that's why we're on here right? To make friends and meet people? I also worry about coming off as clingy or weird so I hesitate sometimes and second guess myself as well. 

It's a lonely world we live in and it just seems to be getting even more lonely as time goes on. 

Yess! And here is always my confusion. The person talked to me, DMed me, waited long enough to get contact social media, and then once they have it the effort is done and one word answers? Like why tell me you wanna connect and be deep if you really don't? I just am looking at a little more honesty even if it's hard. No body likes to tell someone that they are uncomfy or the person is doing something but I've no one mentions they probably don't know.

Yeah the nosy thing can be hard. I always tell folks when we start talking that they are welcome to ask things (within reason. If we are beong friends and they ask we what underwear I wear I probably won't be responding 🤣) then if something comes up I am not ready for i just say. 

[beanbean]

27 minutes ago, PigtailPrincess said:

For sure! Which is party of why I started this topic. Hoping we can ALL get insight and become better at communicating

I think for sure it's a worthy goal to make conversations happen again