caregivers Littles: how do yall approach a future Daddy/Dom/Caregiver?

[Tech85nyc]

Hello all 

This topic was created to gather some info about how  you LITTLES/SUBS approach a potential Daddy/Dom/Caregiver. 

 

Let us know! 

[OuO Alexibaaa]

Curiously, but with opened honesty for all of our conversations. And always only while I'm in bigspace.

 

[Tech85nyc]

31 minutes ago, OuO Alexibaaa said:

Curiously, but with opened honesty for all of our conversations. And always only while I'm in bigspace.

 

I like what you said,  honesty. 

Yet, so far there has been lots of fake/dishonest Littles. 

[OuO Alexibaaa]

3 minutes ago, Tech85nyc said:

I like what you said,  honesty. 

Yet, so far there has been lots of fake/dishonest Littles. 

I think a lot of people (on both sides) are a little desperate for attention from time to time, or inconsiderate of other people's feelings.

I don't think being fake exists in the same context as dishonesty, at least not for littles. There is no "fake" or "wrong" way to be a little.

Communication is very important for romantic partners to work, but even more so for DDLG partners, imho. But sometimes things don't work out, leaving both people frustrated with each other.

But I've noticed that a lot of people who are inexperienced with BDSM, love throwing the term "fake little" around.

Just to be clear;

I'm not trying to start an argument with you, I'm just sharing my opinion on being fake and dishonesty within the DDLG setting.

[Tech85nyc]

6 minutes ago, OuO Alexibaaa said:

I think a lot of people (on both sides) are a little desperate for attention from time to time, or inconsiderate of other people's feelings.

I don't think being fake exists in the same context as dishonesty, at least not for littles. There is no "fake" or "wrong" way to be a little.

Communication is very important for romantic partners to work, but even more so for DDLG partners, imho. But sometimes things don't work out, leaving both people frustrated with each other.

But I've noticed that a lot of people who are inexperienced with BDSM, love throwing the term "fake little" around.

Just to be clear;

I'm not trying to start an argument with you, I'm just sharing my opinion on being fake and dishonesty within the DDLG setting.

I agree with you. Communication is key. In NY case I ask lots of questions and calls do help 

 

Just like subs and Littles who make posts about "fake daddies" 😂😂😂

[OuO Alexibaaa]

1 minute ago, Tech85nyc said:

I agree with you. Communication is key. In NY case I ask lots of questions and calls do help 

 

Just like subs and Littles who make posts about "fake daddies" 😂😂😂

Lots of questions can be interesting to both ask and answer! I'm just glad I'm not looking anymore now that AI text bots are running around so freely.

Well, "fake daddies" are a little different than "fake" littles, imho.

A lot of inexperienced doms will try to exploit a vulnerable little into a relationship, with no desire to be an actual caregiver for the little.

They might be having a hard time finding a regular sub partner over in a vanilla BDSM group, then get mad at the little who wants a certain type of emotional connection and aftercare.

That is what I think "fake Daddies" are. With littles, it's a little trickier to decide what's fake, but dishonesty is definitely a thing that littles can achieve.

[Alonetogth3r]

I have a very hard time with this and it’s something I need to get better at. When I run into a daddy type I’m really interested in I find it almost impossible not to be in little space at least a tiny bit around them, but I hate that.
 

Working on controlling that urge, staying fully in my big space, and basically not making it weird. 

[Little kaiya]

I've been with my Daddy for 7 years next month so it's been a long time since the issue has come up for me. That said, I think it's critically important to approach as an adult to an adult. Until you actually know someone jumping into any kind of power exchange dynamic can be risky. It seems so many folks approach each other in roles right from the get go and the end result usually seems to be broken hearts and hurt feelings because people put DDlg roles first versus putting themselves and the other person or person first as PEOPLE.