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UPDATE 4 Ignore my user, I wanna stay anon for now (vent)


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Posted

So, 

I decided to try and talk to him and when I did well, 
I got screamed at . . horribly not knowing what I did wrong and then realizing I asked at the wrong time, (My fault)

Next time I asked again he apologized, told me he'd try harder and it's honestly like hes trying to brush it off.
I feel hurt, but I don't wanna get on his nerves anymore and I love him with all my heart. Please give more tips.

  • Hugs 1
Posted

This quote just makes alarm bells go off in my head, "I got screamed at . . horribly not knowing what I did wrong and then realizing I asked at the wrong time, (My fault)". Whether it's a good time or a bad time being screamed at isn't an ok communication. The fact you follow it up with "my fault" . . . I've heard that scenario and those lines a LOT in my times as a crisis counselor and it was pretty much never in a good way. 

Add in that you asking to have a discussion is in your mind getting on his nerves, plus he's brushing you off and all the alarm bells are ringing . . . . 

I don't know your situation but what you described above has some very textbook signs of emotional abuse. You may not like this advice but I HIGHLY encourage you seek a therapist to discuss what's happening because it sounds anything but healthy or safe based on your description.

  • 100 percent yes 1
Posted

I second the above, even if it's the wrong time, and even if it was 'your fault', he should not have screamed at you!
That said I highly doubt it was your fault and question if it actually was wrong time. (What could be more important than talking about the future of your relation)

The fact that you feel like he is brushing your feelings off, that he is not as invested in this then you makes me worry.
 

You are as important as him, to us here on the forum as we seen your side so far, way more important.
Do not just endure the situation, continue to attempt to talk with him, to make him realize how important it is to you and also consider to talk with a therapist.

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