Unrealistic Littles

[ExtraCurious]

I met a Little online. They were really nice and we shared a 4 hour long conversation. After about the first 1 hour they showed me that they wanted a 850k Euro House and a ABDL Changing Room with a Play Room and spent two hours talking about this. In their life they wanted to spend 90% of their life in little space and so that would mean I would have to do 90% of the adulting and pay for everything.  Safe to say after our talk, we never talked again they did not attempt to talk to me again. I felt like my time was wasted and I know that is my own fault in a way. The person was really honest about what the wanted but I didn't see that and just wanted to enjoy the conversation and get to know the person and see their qualities. They were really nice and honest but their goals were super unrealistic. I think someone narrows the available matches to 1 or 2 people in 500 and those are probably taken.

I see a lot of personals here where there is tall, fit, financially stable(wealthy) and I understand that but I also see a lot of people who are not those things and will not give a person a chance otherwise. It seems unrealistic and unfair. In my mind the best match would be one with a middle ground where two people are in around the same situation. I also would say if one person is very attractive and the other is not you will likely have a mismatched dynamic. Plus narrowing yourself to 1 to 5% of Caregivers is akin to Tindering 5% of of men or women.

My rant is over. Excuse me for venting.

[Capri]

It's only delusional until it actually works out. 

There's nothing wrong with people having high standards. What seems impossible to you might be completely possible to them, and them being clear from the beginning about what they want is actually saving you time than wasting it I think. Attraction is pretty subjective too.  (Healthy lifestyle, selfcare, how one presents themselves etc taken into account) 

As a little myself with standards that may seem unrealistic or unfair to others, I'll say all power to them. It's a relationship, not a charity case. 

Rather be a happy little on my own than lower myself for anyone or settle for something less than I feel I deserve. If that makes me seem entitled, so be it. I'm a princess after all. 👸✨️

Delulu aside for a sec, I know this probably wasn't the response you were looking for, but wish you all the best in finding a little that is right for you and wants you for who you are! No need to feel discouraged from that interaction, but also don't put others down if you're not what they're looking for and vise versa. 

[.คℓ𝐞ﾒเᏰααα .ᐟ]

While I totally understand the frustration of the dating scene, everything in life is entirely subjective. So while those goals feel unrealistic and unreasonable to you, they really aren't.

Good on anyone willing to be honest and open about their wants and needs from the get go, before jumping headfirst into a relationship.

Shame on you for trying to paint her as a villain just to gain sympathy pats. If anything, you should be thanking her for saving your time.

Also, why can't you just be friends with her, considering you're saying she was so nice and honest with you? Seriously, you're entire rant reads like a red flag to me.

And honestly, I think you should consider working on yourself before jumping into a relationship. Especially if you truly want a little. Us littles typically have higher emotional needs and expectations than the average sub.

And sometimes those needs carry over into stability, such as the dom being the financial bringer and or always being the adultier adult.

Edited October 2, 2024 by OuO Alexibaaa

[beanbean]

10 hours ago, ExtraCurious said:

I met a Little online. They were really nice and we shared a 4 hour long conversation. After about the first 1 hour they showed me that they wanted a 850k Euro House and a ABDL Changing Room with a Play Room and spent two hours talking about this. In their life they wanted to spend 90% of their life in little space and so that would mean I would have to do 90% of the adulting and pay for everything.  Safe to say after our talk, we never talked again they did not attempt to talk to me again. I felt like my time was wasted and I know that is my own fault in a way. The person was really honest about what the wanted but I didn't see that and just wanted to enjoy the conversation and get to know the person and see their qualities. They were really nice and honest but their goals were super unrealistic. I think someone narrows the available matches to 1 or 2 people in 500 and those are probably taken.

I see a lot of personals here where there is tall, fit, financially stable(wealthy) and I understand that but I also see a lot of people who are not those things and will not give a person a chance otherwise. It seems unrealistic and unfair. In my mind the best match would be one with a middle ground where two people are in around the same situation. I also would say if one person is very attractive and the other is not you will likely have a mismatched dynamic. Plus narrowing yourself to 1 to 5% of Caregivers is akin to Tindering 5% of of men or women.

My rant is over. Excuse me for venting.

I think this is a good thing for you in the long run four hours is much better then four months at least you didn't waist each others time. unrealistic or not to you if you know what they are looking for you can tell from the beginning if it's a good fit or not .but still communication is always the key 

[Sammykins]

I agree with Capri and would add that the conversation wasn't a waste of time. Part of finding a little/Daddy is talking to people and figuring out what you want out of a relationship. That means for some the standards and requirements will be high or may not align with yours but they get you thinking about the life you want. 

It sounds like the person was very upfront and wanted to make sure you understood what they wanted and it is complete ok if it doesn't work for you. That just means there is someone out there who is better suited for you. But you shouldn't label it as unrealistic. 

As far as the personals, I think that's all it is. This is what I would like in a person, it may exclude a lot a potential partners who don't check those boxes, but its what that person is looking for. You can't be upset because what they were looking for is not what you are willing to provide. 

This is not attack on you in anyway but I think the conversation provided more insight then you realized!

[Guest Divinitus]

Caring at all times for your little even when she is not in little space is mandatory in my humble opinion. That is what makes me feel right and even more so when my little is happy because of it. And i don't see the standards you used as an example as unrealistic actually. They are life goals and even if reality doesn't allow it should still be a standard. 

Also feel free to dm me if you have doubts or questions.  

[shadowrider]

 I'm going to agree and disagree with everyone just because I believe in looking at all sides of an issue. To me delusion in this case would be more based off of where and how this person was raised. If they are in Los Angeles, Boston, Dallas, then that 850K euro, $950k US, house may not seem that extreme. Where I live I can buy 20 acres of land and build a 3 bed/3 bath house with a playroom, pool, garage, and barn for under $950k.

 If you told someone in Hollywood you were building a million dollar house they would ask how poverty feels. If you told someone in a small rural area you were building a million dollar house they would think you were nuts or won the lottery and are wasting your money. Most people actually have no idea what the cost of houses in their area are unless they have been actively looking. And let's be real, most people nowadays rent because they can't afford to buy a house, the market is stupid expensive. 

 Personally I'd rather buy land and build a home that is comfortable and spend the rest of that money on things that make my partner and I happy. Like adding a small hobbit house or cottage in the woods for playtime or just relaxing. Buy some animals to enjoy as company, maybe goats, sheep, highland cows, and have a small farm/petting zoo of my own. Take trips and make memories that we can cherish when we are old and can no longer travel. But to each their own.

 I also don't understand why someone needs to set a numerical value on a possession in order for it to be what they want. It would make much more sense to say I want a house that has all these things, and list the amenities you want. Cost is irrelevant if it has everything you want. $150k or $2.5m doesn't matter if it is your dream and you can afford it. That's like saying I won't eat at a restaurant that doesn't cost at least $500 for a meal. Then you are missing out on some of the best food you could ever get by thinking that way.

To me any time you put cost over worth you are missing the point.

 I won't go into the ads because I don't feel the need to step on the toes of those with dreams. I love those who still dare to dream, if they work towards turning a dream into a goal and then a reality. I will say that maybe, just maybe, give that person with drive and ambition a chance and maybe you can build that dream life together. To me that would be more satisfying than finding someone that already has a dream life and just hopping into it, but that's just my opinion.

[Liamo]

Good littles deserve good daddies. You 1st need to know what type of daddy you are or can be, then you will know if you are ready for a little, and what kind to attract in your life.

[mecwmello]

fully agree!! a DDLG relationship to me is just like any other relationship, there needs to be a balance and understanding between both people and they two need to be able to support the other both emotionally and yes even financially because we all fall on hard time especially in this economy.  And unless you come from wealth it is incredibly hard to obtain wealth unless you are in the older demographic. So my heart goes out to all the young caregivers ( I'm talking 20s to mid 30s) who are fighting to make their own wealth and then having a little who either wants to work less or not at all and be fully dependent is truly hard and I believe not at all possible in this current financial economy

While a dream would be to not at all work I feel like that sentiment could be felt by every single person ever, no one wants to go to work and be an "adult" but it's not a choice, and I think some littles forget that and get lost in the idea of staying in their safe space forever that they overlook the reality of the big scary world around them

[Little kaiya]

Being a good Daddy doesn't automatically mean being 100% financially responsible or having a little partner who is always in little space. Everyone is entitled to their dreams but I don't in any way shape or form blame any Daddy who sees that type of demand who turns around and runs the other way. To me personally that's a heck of a lot for one adult to demand of another adult.

[SensoriumFox]

While I can understand your frustration about it not having worked out even after you invested your time I don't think it's fair to call these dreams and wishes unrealistic but rather that they simply don't match with what you want in life. We all have different needs, wishes and different things we can and want to provide. These things don't have to match with everyone - they only have to match with the person(s) you end up matching with.

If they were upfront about what they are looking for I think they did pretty much all they need to do for starters considering dating. I love when I chat with people who know what they want and know what is realistic for them.

Relationships and dynamics can be super different. They are personalized for those involved and all that matters, really, is how those involved feel and what they their relations to be like. Hopefully you find what works for you and perhaps some strategies that make you not feel like you are wasting your time when chatting with someone. I find that within the dating scene people often forget to get to know the person as a person rather than a relationship candidate.

[ExtraCurious]

Interesting group of replies:

Just being realistic:

They were honest, can't deny that, they were upfront can't deny that either and yeah it's definitely better than burning months to find out you won't ever fit their ideal.

A Million Dollar House and run it alone cause worldwide that's 1 in 1000 people that earn a million a year or better which is needed to buy that kind of house and keep it up. The person I talked to was a starving artist I think it's delusional cause I have a lot of friends that want that. I know 1 millionaire(makes more per year)he's my old boss.  He's going to be 60. Would he be interested in that, maybe. 

I think I have had conversations with a few Littles/Middles/Subbies that had more reasonable demands. It is true if they don't state what they want it's never going to work cause it will be nothing but friction. Though you can't aim so high that you will never get there. Nobody in my life I have known has married millionaires and been completely trad wife(<this might work for some wealthy types<), DDLG ABDL practically 24-7.

 

[beanbean]

58 minutes ago, ExtraCurious said:

Interesting group of replies:

Just being realistic:

They were honest, can't deny that, they were upfront can't deny that either and yeah it's definitely better than burning months to find out you won't ever fit their ideal.

A Million Dollar House and run it alone cause worldwide that's 1 in 1000 people that earn a million a year or better which is needed to buy that kind of house and keep it up. The person I talked to was a starving artist I think it's delusional cause I have a lot of friends that want that. I know 1 millionaire(makes more per year)he's my old boss.  He's going to be 60. Would he be interested in that, maybe. 

I think I have had conversations with a few Littles/Middles/Subbies that had more reasonable demands. It is true if they don't state what they want it's never going to work cause it will be nothing but friction. Though you can't aim so high that you will never get there. Nobody in my life I have known has married millionaires and been completely trad wife(<this might work for some wealthy types<), DDLG ABDL practically 24-7.

 

In no way did I think the demands were reasonable just that at least he end of the day I think you did dodge a bullet

[Scarletbabygirl]

7 hours ago, ExtraCurious said:

Interesting group of replies:

Just being realistic:

They were honest, can't deny that, they were upfront can't deny that either and yeah it's definitely better than burning months to find out you won't ever fit their ideal.

A Million Dollar House and run it alone cause worldwide that's 1 in 1000 people that earn a million a year or better which is needed to buy that kind of house and keep it up. The person I talked to was a starving artist I think it's delusional cause I have a lot of friends that want that. I know 1 millionaire(makes more per year)he's my old boss.  He's going to be 60. Would he be interested in that, maybe. 

I think I have had conversations with a few Littles/Middles/Subbies that had more reasonable demands. It is true if they don't state what they want it's never going to work cause it will be nothing but friction. Though you can't aim so high that you will never get there. Nobody in my life I have known has married millionaires and been completely trad wife(<this might work for some wealthy types<), DDLG ABDL practically 24-7.

 

Personally, I’ve seen several relationships (vanilla and otherwise) where middle class women marry middle class men, and become trad wives. My parents are just one example. I think it’s different person to person. You’re entitled to want what you want, but so is that little you met. 

[ExtraCurious]

Do you think a million dollar house would be middle class or a million a year? If you are broke? It's their situation. I had a lovely girlfriend growing up that was very non-supportive married a much older wealthier guy cause I was not on par with her ideals. She was 20 he was 30s. She got what she wanted, middle class home, 2 kids, he had 3 already. They broke up, they were miserable and I think she lost her life last year to the relationship. (cause the cause is hidden)

 

It's okay to want things but they are not free. In just 5 years you can lose everything to a toxic relationship.

Edited September 28, 2024 by ExtraCurious

[puppyskull]

Can't a girl dream anymore? 

Seriously, I used to talk with my partners about fantasies in which we had our own house with a dungeon, or sometimes we would talk about a fantasy in which I would be a 24/7 pet, without any contact with the outside world. It's really fun to fantasize about things that are never going to happen (and I don't wanna lose my freedom either), but only if you know that at the end of the day, those are just extreme/unrealistic fantasies! 

I understand how you feel, it's hard to find people we can truly connect with, but there's a reason there are like a billion people on earth. Don't give up hope and as long as you are honest, you'll find someone. 

[Liamo]

So we are living in the richest country on the planet. Making money has never been easier thanks to the internet. I personally started with nothing, escaping an abusive family. I made it to being a millionaire. Anyone who has a normal functioning brain can do it. Here is in a nutshell my formula.

1) Spend less than you make, and always invest what you did not spend. No matter how little you make you can save at least 5 to 10% of your income.

2) If you do not know where to start, read those 2 books over and over and over, listen to them on tape in your car, and read them again at night instead of watching a dumb TV program: 1) Think and grow rich by Napoleon Hill and 2) Rich dad poor dad by Rober Kyosaki

3) Buy a small house or apartment as soon as you possibly can. Be sure to put 20% down so you never have to pay PMI.

4) Do not rely on anyone. Cut all toxic people out of your life. Anyone who is not supportive of your new lifestyle to acquire wealth.

5) Cut all expenses you do not need. Why pay for an expensive coffee when banks, car wash places etc. have free coffee???

6) Find an extra job, or better yet a side hustle. Get a roommate or 2 to pay off that house/apartment faster.

7) Be sure to put every penny you can squeeze toward your mortgage. Your goal is to pay it off in 7 years or less. 

😎 Once it is paid off,  buy another one. Rent it out. You should have it paid off in less than 5 years.

9) Buy your 3rd apartment. You should now be able to buy one every 3 years or so.

The beginning of the journey is slow and hard. It gets easier and easier. I am now 52 and work just for the fun of it, making more passive income than what I need each month to live happily. I am a teacher, I LOVE to teach. If anyone is absolutely serious about starting their own journey to being independently wealthy reach out to me and I can answer any of your questions. (Full disclaimer: I am not selling anything)

 

[ExtraCurious]

On 9/28/2024 at 6:20 PM, Liamo said:

So we are living in the richest country on the planet. Making money has never been easier thanks to the internet. I personally started with nothing, escaping an abusive family. I made it to being a millionaire. Anyone who has a normal functioning brain can do it. Here is in a nutshell my formula.

1) Spend less than you make, and always invest what you did not spend. No matter how little you make you can save at least 5 to 10% of your income.

2) If you do not know where to start, read those 2 books over and over and over, listen to them on tape in your car, and read them again at night instead of watching a dumb TV program: 1) Think and grow rich by Napoleon Hill and 2) Rich dad poor dad by Rober Kyosaki

3) Buy a small house or apartment as soon as you possibly can. Be sure to put 20% down so you never have to pay PMI.

4) Do not rely on anyone. Cut all toxic people out of your life. Anyone who is not supportive of your new lifestyle to acquire wealth.

5) Cut all expenses you do not need. Why pay for an expensive coffee when banks, car wash places etc. have free coffee???

6) Find an extra job, or better yet a side hustle. Get a roommate or 2 to pay off that house/apartment faster.

7) Be sure to put every penny you can squeeze toward your mortgage. Your goal is to pay it off in 7 years or less. 

😎 Once it is paid off,  buy another one. Rent it out. You should have it paid off in less than 5 years.

9) Buy your 3rd apartment. You should now be able to buy one every 3 years or so.

The beginning of the journey is slow and hard. It gets easier and easier. I am now 52 and work just for the fun of it, making more passive income than what I need each month to live happily. I am a teacher, I LOVE to teach. If anyone is absolutely serious about starting their own journey to being independently wealthy reach out to me and I can answer any of your questions. (Full disclaimer: I am not selling anything)

 

Yes I've heard of Napoleon Hill.(read more than his work) I've heard of the method you're speaking I've been around a lot of well-to-do people. If you can forego a family, kids or vices of any kind(unless the wife is on the same page as you or relationship)...you're healthy both mentally and physically and you have a lot of ambition to achieve what you want you probably can go as far as you're explaining in life by 52. It would require intense work hours initially and you probably will have little time or pleasure. You are wearing out some of the best years of your life and since life expectancy is less than 80 it's a trade off for a cushiony life? I do know people who have made millions off a YT Channel/Poker Professional with very innovative concepts, however these people are the exception not the rule in life cause their pursuits are high risk/reward return.

Hard work and devotion to the goal will eventually make you a wealthy older individual. Though buying expensive adventures could easily even bankrupt you. So buying say a young woman who would be interested in your  lifestyle that she'd long for, with no limits unless you're making 'a lot' is also ruinous, and anyone who gets to where you are isn't likely to indulge anyone in such cause they're disciplined to get where you're at this point.  Everyone has to make a choice in life what's important to them. Day to day if the sunset is important to them. If kids are important to them. If spending the years between 20-30-40-50 is ideal this way or that way. Life has is finite and $ certainly makes it more entertaining but time to enjoy is also finite.

You can enjoy a monk lifestyle as you mention on your road to success and certainly I've known plenty who do enjoy that kind of lifestyle. It's often something they continue after they're well to do... My ex boss bought a Millionaire Dollar House and had an Emblem posted on the staircase like from Scarface. It was a bit tacky but his wife left him and took 9 million and he's fine. 

 

What you value...what is important to you... Interesting post!

Edited October 5, 2024 by ExtraCurious

[ExtraCurious]

On 9/28/2024 at 5:58 PM, puppyskull said:

Can't a girl dream anymore? 

Seriously, I used to talk with my partners about fantasies in which we had our own house with a dungeon, or sometimes we would talk about a fantasy in which I would be a 24/7 pet, without any contact with the outside world. It's really fun to fantasize about things that are never going to happen (and I don't wanna lose my freedom either), but only if you know that at the end of the day, those are just extreme/unrealistic fantasies! 

I understand how you feel, it's hard to find people we can truly connect with, but there's a reason there are like a billion people on earth. Don't give up hope and as long as you are honest, you'll find someone. 

I know the fantasy lifestyle well. I have known many that prefer it to the reality. And why not, it is the opiate of the masses right? I am sure you can indulge in it forever and if you're happy with that then more genuine passion to you for it. Life can end tomorrow and why not dream sure though why not share a dream if you ever manage to find someone worth sharing a dream with. I have always found that things shared are better alone. 

Also you don't have to dream big you can dream small....  ..... ..... that being said I've caught myself in plenty of dreams and watching that clock go tick tock and I'm working in something I rather despise right now so yeah, you must also make adult decisions and secure yourself a little. 

 

My last Little "pure straight up friend," decided to become a catlady and to swear off Daddies. She's quite happy with that choice but deep down I see a little bit of sadness in them. It's really hard to find a match I'd imagine 95% of people here struggle to if they ever were looking depending on their willingness to accept another person? Regardless of all differences.

[Liamo]

Life is all about choices. Most people chose to be broke their entire life, never make the right choices to get ahead, and yet have the balls to complain about it. If you chose to be poor, I have nothing against that choice, but please do not be envious of people who are not, and STOP bitching about the situation. And yes, absolutely, poverty is a choice when you live in the USA.

[DaddyUpNorth]

I'm on the fence as i can understand both sides with the situation. 

I had high standards for what i look for, i want a little who wants loads of cuddles, watch cartoons and play games, for me to dress and take care of but the deal break was i want my little padded, pampered and diapered.

I was always upfront with it cause i didn't want to give a little the idea something could workout knowing i put my cards on the table early on to avoid any issues.

Also usually first couple of chats are more like a interview then anything for both sides.

While i do think expectations for the cost of the house was abit far reaching i managed to get a house in a smaller community with 5 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms and spare rooms for a nursery. Its why i bought it.

Don't be dissuaded by what happened, just keep trying to look and find the little you're looking for. Just be honest with them early on.

[MissNMTX]

Wow all these responses have made me super curious. Was this person you were speaking to speaking about actually expectations or ideals. Those can be very different things especially to a little or middle!

Ideally, I fancy myself a princess, which would mean manicures, pedicures, spa days, dinner, concerts, shopping trips, vacations, and random trinkets from my "daddy". We have a private sanctuary of a home where we can do all the indulging we want.

In real life there's rent, utilities, jobs, family dynamics any number of things. I'm that case good morning/ good night messages, did you eat/sleep well, don't forget to drink water, asking questions to get to know and understand you 

High standards are always important. You have to know your value and what you bring to the table. I agree that those standards shouldn't be lowered.  As was perviously mentioned, housing costs vary immensely based on where you live.

Generally, speaking though I think this person was giving voice to her ideal little dream. Not her everyday life, or even her actual expectations.

[ExtraCurious]

1 hour ago, Liamo said:

Life is all about choices. Most people chose to be broke their entire life, never make the right choices to get ahead, and yet have the balls to complain about it. If you chose to be poor, I have nothing against that choice, but please do not be envious of people who are not, and STOP bitching about the situation. And yes, absolutely, poverty is a choice when you live in the USA.

That's not true at all! I have a sister on the spectrum and her son is even more on the spectrum than she is. They'll never make more than $200 a week and rely on public assistance.(she's lucky to have support from family) A lot of people have a lot of adversity to overcome and struggles in their life. Until you've swam in that sea you'll not understand or see what I see. Bob my FQ support group buddy had a Fortune 500 Job, wife and kids. 110k a year and he past away prematurely due to a Prescription Drug to treat a UTI. The wife and kids went when he got sick and ended up in his Mom's Basement. My ex girlfriends parents 47 and 51 died, both of heart attacks recently. On and on... My ex-boss isn't happier now than when he was a young man making it with a supportive wife and kids. Money doesn't equal happiness it's just a tool to be utilized and if not properly it is a wasted resource.

You can't buy more time, great wonderful people to be with, great health or intelligence...you can't buy happiness or genuine feeling... You can't buy people either cause that price means they aren't real. What you can do is just be you and find out what makes you happy. The happiest people on earth don't come from the USA or rich countries. They come from a small city in Russia where they have only the essentials. Even the rich here have grief. 

 

[ExtraCurious]

48 minutes ago, MissNMTX said:

Wow all these responses have made me super curious. Was this person you were speaking to speaking about actually expectations or ideals. Those can be very different things especially to a little or middle!

Ideally, I fancy myself a princess, which would mean manicures, pedicures, spa days, dinner, concerts, shopping trips, vacations, and random trinkets from my "daddy". We have a private sanctuary of a home where we can do all the indulging we want.

In real life there's rent, utilities, jobs, family dynamics any number of things. I'm that case good morning/ good night messages, did you eat/sleep well, don't forget to drink water, asking questions to get to know and understand you 

High standards are always important. You have to know your value and what you bring to the table. I agree that those standards shouldn't be lowered.  As was perviously mentioned, housing costs vary immensely based on where you live.

Generally, speaking though I think this person was giving voice to her ideal little dream. Not her everyday life, or even her actual expectations.

 

The person I was talking about had no $, no job, was beginning school and living with a sister. Their table is empty, they're average looking they are somewhat on the autism spectrum so I assume they're little to cope with that and life trauma(they sort of pointed in that direction to me)... I do not think that their expectations were realistic was all my original point was. I think truly being loved and cared for would of been far more important than what they desired? 

 

I'm 25 I'm not rich, the things you request I couldn't provide you. The indulgences you requested would break me cause that's easily 1500-2500 a month of my income. I assume that you're more mature and are partnered with a financially secure partner that can provide those things. My simple logic would be that a person roughly 5 years younger or older than me would sit by my side and be supportive. Ultimately the emotional, loving, and perhaps small financial support would pay dividends ultimately leading to a situation would be mutually beneficially to us both. Though people seem not to want to do this in the 2020s. Being that Pillar for the person/Husband/Daddy you love can lead to them having more hungry eyes/ambition and ultimately giving more to you and having more ... considering they're starting off in life. Now if you wish to marry a 50-60 year old man that would be entirely unique. Though that would be somewhat rough if kids were involved considering he may not live long enough to see them flower.

[MissNMTX]

@ExtraCurious I think you misunderstood my post... perhaps I wasn't as clear as I thought I was actually agreeing with you.

Edited October 5, 2024 by MissNMTX