Could Someone Give me Advice on Navigating the DDlg Dynamic as a Newcomer

[roberrrttt1]

Hello there,

I am new to the community and to the DDlg dynamic in general; and I have been doing some research on it; but I am still trying to wrap my head around certain aspects. I find the caregiver/little relationship really intriguing and comforting; but as a newcomer; I want to make sure I approach it with the right mindset and respect for everyone involved.

Are there common misconceptions that new people (like me) should avoid? What boundaries or communication tips have you found essential for maintaining a healthy DDlg relationship?

Additionally; I am curious about the ways you have found to incorporate the dynamic into everyday life without it feeling forced or unnatural. How do you balance it alongside other life commitments; like work; friends; or family?

Lastly; I am interested in hearing about how you find like-minded partners or friends within this community.

Also, I have gone through this post; https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/60583-advice-for-setting-soc-analyst-a-good-foundation-within-the-dynamic/ which definitely helped me out a lot.

What are some good ways to meet people and build meaningful connections in a way that respects personal boundaries and is safe?

Thankyou in advance for your help and assistance.

[Guest WhiteFennec]

Hi there,

Welcome.  I think you'll find lots of information on here and a lot of wonderful people to help.  I'm new to the community and lifestyle as well.  I've kind of fallen into it through my current situation and it's been amazing and I'm learning so much.  Being new I'll give you a couple of things I've learned and hopefully some more experienced people will chime in. 

When it comes to miosconceptions, I think the first one is labels.  I'm going to label my relationship as dd/bg (babygirl) because she's not reallly a little or a middle but has tendencies that lean towards a middle.  Out of the gate I learned that my relationship doesn't match what many of the typical labels are.  We've had to find our own route.  This has taught me that communication on what is wanted and needed is key.  These big discussions on needs, wants and boundaries need to happen when someone is not in their little space.  

Incorporating it into your daily life, for us, has come naturally.  We had no need to push anything.  Things like rituals and routines happened through normal every day discussions.  We finally developed that there are 5 key things she needs to do through the day and gets a reward.  It was just natural.  Maybe it's because caregiving came naturally to me, but it was just simply we did something, saw that it worked, saw that it was good, and then said this is your new routine.    For us since we are long distance it's harder to incorporate into every day life and we both have busy jobs.  With that said though a few things we do is, we make a point to have a 15 minute break where she needs to take a break from work and have a chat with daddy.  I ask her about her water intake and if she's eaten through the day, and we have a nightly routine that we go through.  We aren't in the lifestlye 24/7 but we sprinkle it through the day like salt to add seasoning and flavor to our normal day and it adds so much to our lives.

 

[beanbean]

2 hours ago, WhiteFennec said:

Hi there,

Welcome.  I think you'll find lots of information on here and a lot of wonderful people to help.  I'm new to the community and lifestyle as well.  I've kind of fallen into it through my current situation and it's been amazing and I'm learning so much.  Being new I'll give you a couple of things I've learned and hopefully some more experienced people will chime in. 

When it comes to miosconceptions, I think the first one is labels.  I'm going to label my relationship as dd/bg (babygirl) because she's not reallly a little or a middle but has tendencies that lean towards a middle.  Out of the gate I learned that my relationship doesn't match what many of the typical labels are.  We've had to find our own route.  This has taught me that communication on what is wanted and needed is key.  These big discussions on needs, wants and boundaries need to happen when someone is not in their little space.  

Incorporating it into your daily life, for us, has come naturally.  We had no need to push anything.  Things like rituals and routines happened through normal every day discussions.  We finally developed that there are 5 key things she needs to do through the day and gets a reward.  It was just natural.  Maybe it's because caregiving came naturally to me, but it was just simply we did something, saw that it worked, saw that it was good, and then said this is your new routine.    For us since we are long distance it's harder to incorporate into every day life and we both have busy jobs.  With that said though a few things we do is, we make a point to have a 15 minute break where she needs to take a break from work and have a chat with daddy.  I ask her about her water intake and if she's eaten through the day, and we have a nightly routine that we go through.  We aren't in the lifestlye 24/7 but we sprinkle it through the day like salt to add seasoning and flavor to our normal day and it adds so much to our lives.

 

This read the forum lots of people far smarter then me post on here and maybe you will get what your looking for. Communication is always the key.

[SweetLu]

Bean is fantastic & very smart. 😊. Hello and welcome! My two cents? Read...a lot. As you find DD's and littles who resonate or say something that intrigues or interest you. Talk to them and learn. 😁 And most of all? Patience. With yourself and the ladies/littles you talk to.  I think we're all learning continuously and figuring ourselves out as we go and (as much as we don't like it) it takes time.