I Need Aftercare Ideas!

[Princ3ss-Baby-Bear]

Okay so here’s my usual aftercare plan that I would use with any future partner as written in my owner manual (yes you read that right, I can explain if needs be)

”the Submissive shall be taken for Warm Bubble bath or shower in which the Dom shall bathe her and with the her, once clean she will be wrapped in a fluffy towel (warm one in winter!) before being dressed in comfortable attire. Then she shall receive cuddles with her Dom while they consume favourite snacks and drink fluids while watch favourite films & shows”

now that’s okay for a future partner and at home scenes but I really need some aftercare ideas I can use with people I’m not exactly close with or that can be done in public settings like a fetish club 😅 so if anybody has some aftercare ideas please share 😫😫😫

 

[WolfMoon2024]

Platonic cuddles are also a thing! Perhaps it's because I'm touched starved but friendly embracing is always a plus in my books!

[Princ3ss-Baby-Bear]

2 minutes ago, WolfMoon2024 said:

Platonic cuddles are also a thing! Perhaps it's because I'm touched starved but friendly embracing is always a plus in my books!

Cuddles are always good just don’t know if could hug someone after a scene without crying 😅

[weirdunicorn]

i just have to say i love that you have an owners manual. 💕

[Princ3ss-Baby-Bear]

20 minutes ago, weirdunicorn said:

i just have to say i love that you have an owners manual. 💕

Awww thanks ☺️ technically I have two 🫣 one for little me and one for Submissive me

[Huggybear]

12 hours ago, Princ3ss-Baby-Bear said:

Cuddles are always good just don’t know if could hug someone after a scene without crying 😅

Is there something wrong with crying? I feel cathardic cry is often a big part of aftercare :). I wouldnt ever wanna make my sub feel like crying wasnt okay, I could even see myself encouraging it If I felt emotions were on the surface.

Im gonna dig and copy-paste something from the ol' tumbler library :).

The necessities:

• make sure both parties feel comfortable, safe, and supported
• hydrate!! water or gatorade/mild juices are both excellent choices (water is good for you & Gatorade replenishes electrolytes)
• cleaning (leave the room a mess, but if your partner prefers their body to be clean then this should be done.) Old fashioned bowl of warm water and a washcloth set up pre-play go a long way.
• communication of some kind. If partner is non-verbal, soft tone narration of the positives is a good way to go.
• for harder scenes (ex. pain play, impact play, rope play, etc.) please check your partner for any signs of physical harm. have a first aid kit ready.
• do your research, know your stuff. don’t participate in play you don’t fully understand or feel fully comfortable doing. have a complete understanding of aftercare and what the scenes you do will require afterwards.
• never leave your partner alone after play

In-person:

• showering with your partner
• taking a bath or running a bath for your partner
• applying lotion (good for impact play!)
• putting a blanket or clean clothes in a dryer so afterwards you or your partner feels warm and safe
• watching a comfort movie/show
• taking a nap
• cuddles, kisses, playing with their hair
• praise, praise, and more praise
• have snacks ready
• hydrate!! this is SO important! (Also, did I say hydrate already?)
• ask questions about what just happened (keep it light due to drops, careful not to carry the scene further in dialogue)
• coloring
• reading
• hold your partner
• listen to music together

Online:

• reaffirming/reassuring language in the conversation
• watch a movie together (there’s apps for this like discord or you can start it at the same time)
• video or phone call (even if you’re just staring at each other in silence)
• have your partner get water and a snack before hand so it’s ready for them
• praise, praise, and more praise!!
• light conversation
• reading over the phone (preferrably facetiming)
• have your partner have warm clothes or a warm blanket ready before hand
• clean up supplies ready before hand
• reassurance is so important for both parties when you’re long distance or participating in online play
• Hydration! (Im not sure if this was said yet?)
  
  Cant go much wrong with that list :).

Edited September 15, 2024 by Huggybear

[MyMy]

13 minutes ago, Huggybear said:

Is there something wrong with crying? I feel cathardic cry is often a big part of aftercare :). I wouldnt ever wanna make my sub feel like crying wasnt okay, I could even see myself encouraging it If I felt emotions were on the surface.

Im gonna dig and copy-paste something from the ol' tumbler library :).

The necessities:

• make sure both parties feel comfortable, safe, and supported
• hydrate!! water or gatorade/mild juices are both excellent choices (water is good for you & Gatorade replenishes electrolytes)
• cleaning (leave the room a mess, but if your partner prefers their body to be clean then this should be done.) Old fashioned bowl of warm water and a washcloth set up pre-play go a long way.
• communication of some kind. If partner is non-verbal, soft tone narration of the positives is a good way to go.
• for harder scenes (ex. pain play, impact play, rope play, etc.) please check your partner for any signs of physical harm. have a first aid kit ready.
• do your research, know your stuff. don’t participate in play you don’t fully understand or feel fully comfortable doing. have a complete understanding of aftercare and what the scenes you do will require afterwards.
• never leave your partner alone after play

In-person:

• showering with your partner
• taking a bath or running a bath for your partner
• applying lotion (good for impact play!)
• putting a blanket or clean clothes in a dryer so afterwards you or your partner feels warm and safe
• watching a comfort movie/show
• taking a nap
• cuddles, kisses, playing with their hair
• praise, praise, and more praise
• have snacks ready
• hydrate!! this is SO important! (Also, did I say hydrate already?)
• ask questions about what just happened (keep it light because subspace/domspace)
• coloring
• reading
• hold your partner
• listen to music together

Online:

• reaffirming/reassuring language in the conversation
• watch a movie together (there’s apps for this like discord or you can start it at the same time)
• video or phone call (even if you’re just staring at each other in silence)
• have your partner get water and a snack before hand so it’s ready for them
• praise, praise, and more praise!!
• light conversation
• reading over the phone (preferrably facetiming)
• have your partner have warm clothes or a warm blanket ready before hand
• clean up supplies ready before hand
• reassurance is so important for both parties when you’re long distance or participating in online play
• Hydration! (Im not sure if this was said yet?)
  
  Can go much wrong with that list :).

Why keep the conversation light because “sub/dom space” what does that mean? 

[Huggybear]

Im pretty sure the OG poster for that meant the sub/dom drop more than actual "space". Or maybe the idea was to be careful not to carry the scene further incase the headspaces arent in tune anymore. One of the partners might need a longer time to wind down.

I edited the phrasing a bit :).

 

Edited September 14, 2024 by Huggybear

[Quirky]

Great Q. Could I ask for a little clarification like are you rocking scenes that big you likes but need big/middle/little care after? I do not always have perfect alignments so I try to make Self After Care Plans. (And uh when trust levels are higher: give them a list and expectation whether it's one scene or chapters: aftercare is Part of the Scene: you write it in:-). I keep a lollipop in the car for a quick little reward. Middle loves a good bruise pic snapped to myself. Big me says the more serious the scene the more serious the aftercare you should expect and get or try moving on: big needs being missed will add up and your little side will want to run run away IMHO. Ok, self after care: shower, weighted blanket, sounds of comfort (story or movie) and Hydrate. You earned it whether they cared or not: you got this! 

[Princ3ss-Baby-Bear]

5 hours ago, Quirky said:

Great Q. Could I ask for a little clarification like are you rocking scenes that big you likes but need big/middle/little care after? I do not always have perfect alignments so I try to make Self After Care Plans. (And uh when trust levels are higher: give them a list and expectation whether it's one scene or chapters: aftercare is Part of the Scene: you write it in:-). I keep a lollipop in the car for a quick little reward. Middle loves a good bruise pic snapped to myself. Big me says the more serious the scene the more serious the aftercare you should expect and get or try moving on: big needs being missed will add up and your little side will want to run run away IMHO. Ok, self after care: shower, weighted blanket, sounds of comfort (story or movie) and Hydrate. You earned it whether they cared or not: you got this! 

So I’m going to a BDSM weekend and there’s chances to perform scenes like impact play and bondage play etc so it would primarily be submissive me and pet me that would be involved as I tend to try keep my little side as a safe space, but tbh any type of aftercare suggestions that I could do in public would be great because I really don’t know if I could be bothered to walk back to the hotel just to give myself aftercare 😅 but definitely like the idea of getting to have a lollipop for doing well, thank you ☺️

[Quirky]

Good clarification-- maybe pack a bagand remember like a scene after care is body and mind.... My purse used to have individual body wipes, one-time toothbrushes, flip brush, fav lipgloss (I like vanilla frosting or raspberry for my little sides but big accepted) and a soft pashmina (that's right, I have a fine collection of big approved blankies). Public grooming can double as after care. My suggestions that help me that took foreva to learn: sunglasses and headphones. After subspace, subdrop is a real thing... prolly why that cry need really comes up. So glasses cut the being seen and lower stimulus, level out your head through comfort music. Google 5-4-3-2-1 grounding for a simple to use but great tried and true way to just get your head good before sleeps or next round.

I will add if your/peeps reading doms, even not daddy doms and maybe they are working others: look around before engaging: scene space should have a recoup area with a regular tender (and a food area) or: new circle, this one is missing healthy components.

[Princ3ss-Baby-Bear]

5 hours ago, Quirky said:

Good clarification-- maybe pack a bagand remember like a scene after care is body and mind.... My purse used to have individual body wipes, one-time toothbrushes, flip brush, fav lipgloss (I like vanilla frosting or raspberry for my little sides but big accepted) and a soft pashmina (that's right, I have a fine collection of big approved blankies). Public grooming can double as after care. My suggestions that help me that took foreva to learn: sunglasses and headphones. After subspace, subdrop is a real thing... prolly why that cry need really comes up. So glasses cut the being seen and lower stimulus, level out your head through comfort music. Google 5-4-3-2-1 grounding for a simple to use but great tried and true way to just get your head good before sleeps or next round.

I will add if your/peeps reading doms, even not daddy doms and maybe they are working others: look around before engaging: scene space should have a recoup area with a regular tender (and a food area) or: new circle, this one is missing healthy components.

Thank you! ☺️