Making Friends as an Adult?

[daisy_cat]

Hi hi 👋♡

So I've been a busy bee as of late— going to school and work. Really, all parts of my life are doing really good right now except for my social life 🙃😅

I feel like I struggle with making friends, especially now that I'm an adult. Idk how to go about it and where to even start. My coworkers are very sweet but they are all at different stages of life so it's kinda hard to relate to them/ hang out outside of work. As for school, I go to a community college curently and so the social opportunities are lacking there.

So I guess what I'm asking anyone my age and older is how do you all make irl friends? What do you do? I'm an introvert but even I am starting to feel lonely~ ( ´-｀)

 

Edited September 8, 2024 by daisy_cat

[Capri]

Hi hi! Making friends involves approaching others and having conversation. It can start with something small like a compliment or a question and getting their contact. Then you can later bond over similar interests and meet up for a coffee. It's really all about confidence and how you present yourself to others. 

Funnily enough I make more friends now as an adult than I ever did as a kid. I used to be so shy and insecure. Never thought I'd say this as a little, but being an adult is way more fun! 😆 You got this girl. 

[Huggybear]

I think Capri is right, its all about confidence and how you present yourself. If you see potential friends who seem to be social and kind around you, bravely walk up and say they seem nice and ask about their interest. Best way to get people to like you is to show genuine interest on their likes and ask alot of questions :). Im sure people would love to be your friend if they just get to know that the feeling is mutual, but much like dating, just looking and admiring from afar wont get alot of results ❤️.

Good luck out there miss Daisy_cat!

[weirdunicorn]

thanks for asking this! i struggle to make friends as an adult too. i had more friends when i was younger and while still have love for those people, as we’ve grown our interests, activities, and values no longer line up. and ive failed to make new friends to fill those voids.

my problem isnt necessarily meeting people or being shy. im very friendly and can easily joke around and make conversation with strangers. i join all the clubs, take classes, and chat with everyone at work. im actually very good at getting to know things about other people. 

i have trouble following through and taking an acquaintance to the next level. ive overcome a lot of trauma, and while i work through a lot of stuff with the help of therapy, emdr, meditation practice ect it still feels scary for me to be close and vulnerable with someone else. even as a platonic friendship. and i don’t mean it’s hard for me to talk about personal things bc i will often tell people very personal information as a substitute for vulnerability. but i never tell people how im really feeling in the moment. and i would absolutely never call someone if i was going through something tough. ive gotten really good at pulling up my boot straps, putting my head down, and getting through it all on my own. it doesn’t make sense in my body to expose my inner self to someone who could potentially use it to hurt me. even though my logical, intellectual self understands that closeness is something i as a human desperately need. 

⛈️🌈🍍💜🦄

[daisy_cat]

5 hours ago, weirdunicorn said:

thanks for asking this! i struggle to make friends as an adult too. i had more friends when i was younger and while still have love for those people, as we’ve grown our interests, activities, and values no longer line up. and ive failed to make new friends to fill those voids.

my problem isnt necessarily meeting people or being shy. im very friendly and can easily joke around and make conversation with strangers. i join all the clubs, take classes, and chat with everyone at work. im actually very good at getting to know things about other people. 

i have trouble following through and taking an acquaintance to the next level. ive overcome a lot of trauma, and while i work through a lot of stuff with the help of therapy, emdr, meditation practice ect it still feels scary for me to be close and vulnerable with someone else. even as a platonic friendship. and i don’t mean it’s hard for me to talk about personal things bc i will often tell people very personal information as a substitute for vulnerability. but i never tell people how im really feeling in the moment. and i would absolutely never call someone if i was going through something tough. ive gotten really good at pulling up my boot straps, putting my head down, and getting through it all on my own. it doesn’t make sense in my body to expose my inner self to someone who could potentially use it to hurt me. even though my logical, intellectual self understands that closeness is something i as a human desperately need. 

⛈️🌈🍍💜🦄

Oof, this his really close to home. I think I really relate to a lot of what you said... especially with being truly vulnerable. I've been hurt a lot too and I believe I subconsciously close-off in the face of true relationships. 

I think this is something I'm going to need to work on going forward.

[CaptnLucid]

I totally feel you. Balancing work and school can make it hard to meet new people. When I was in a similar spot, I joined a couple of hobby groups that interested me. Even something simple like a book club or a local sports league can help you connect with others. I also started reaching out to people I’d met through work or school for casual hangouts—it’s often the little steps that lead to meaningful friendships.

[Littlefoxy18]

Joining groups or clubs based on your interests can help. Also, starting small convos with people in casual settings works.

[123littleme]

I feel like it’s harder as an adult to make friends too. I moved away from home for several years and due to my position was moved from FL, to AL, back to FL, then to NY, NC, and SC. There’s a great app I found called meetup. I haven’t used it in a while, but you find an interest and there are tons of clubs and activities to choose from. Everyone is generally nervous the first time but welcoming and kind. I joined a kickball league through there, did some amateur photography, couch to 5k running group, crafting club, and learned to can veggies from some amazing grannies. There’s lots of options you should check it out. Hope you find what you’re looking for. 

[Kittyprincessss]

I really struggle with making new friends too. I’m too shy to start any conversations and I always second guess and get worried I’ll say the wrong thing 

[sophieR]

Deffo hard making friends as an adult. Lucky there are nice people on here tho. I'm in a similar situation so if you want to chat, feel free. Also on snap or discord.