It's a Problem?

[Sadistic_Nursing_Mommy]

Not only is it hard to find someone who clearly meets your expectations and hopes, I am just going over here, how hard it may be to find a relatively high level masochist in the CG/l dynamic. 😕

Which is the extremely sad to me because I have an equally tender side. 

For for me the  juxtaposition and the fire and ice of it all adds so much intensity.

But I see much more mild versions of S&M in this dynamic.

I am cutting my chances in bits, but I also need to stay very true to myself.

Is there anyone here with direct experience with a higher level masochist little or a truly sadistic caregiver? It's disappointing to think I have very small numbers to look forward to...

But it's worth it staying true to yourself.

I am just down.about it right now....

😥😢💙😞

 

[beanbean]

57 minutes ago, Sadistic_Nursing_Mommy said:

Not only is it hard to find someone who clearly meets your expectations and hopes, I am just going over here, how hard it may be to find a relatively high level masochist in the CG/l dynamic. 😕

Which is the extremely sad to me because I have an equally tender side. 

For for me the  juxtaposition and the fire and ice of it all adds so much intensity.

But I see much more mild versions of S&M in this dynamic.

I am cutting my chances in bits, but I also need to stay very true to myself.

Is there anyone here with direct experience with a higher level masochist little or a truly sadistic caregiver? It's disappointing to think I have very small numbers to look forward to...

But it's worth it staying true to yourself.

I am just down.about it right now....

😥😢💙😞

I wouldn't be to down on your chances just be patient people are all different and I am sure what your looking for is out there 

[Princ3ss-Baby-Bear]

I’ll give the same advice I’ve had on fetlife go to munches and events and try there, it’s always going to be hard work and might even be something you’ll need to build on as may find the perfect person who has no idea they’re a masochist yet 🤷‍♀️

[Sammykins]

I agree with princess-baby-bear! You may need to build that aspect your seeking! you never know if you like something till you try it and that may be what your future partner is thinking. Its gunna take time and its so hard to be patient. Maybe try going to events or clubs that offer what your looking for and interact there, you never know what you will find. 🥰

[LeftyGuitar]

My little side can be masochist depending on the type of play. I agree with the other posters about exploring and trying things. You never know what you may find.

[DaddyUpNorth]

It can be hard to find your perfect little but never give up, take time and don't settle either as it will just haunt you as well.

It took me years of searching and talking with alot of fakes, some completely mismatched and other times the complete opposite of what i wanted.

I'll be forthcoming here, I'm a Daddy but have a switch side on occasions and wanted a little who could be the same with the opposite ratio. I've met others who were just mommy types and others who were just littles but eventually i found the one who matched me perfectly.

Just be honest with yourself and once you find the right person you'll be surprised how much more you'll open up and how much more there is to enjoy.

[DLduck]

i totally understands how frustrating and depressing it can be in searching for your little, sub, or dominate partner.   I believe most peeps are looking for that absolute perfect match, be it a certain kink, level of kink, physical attributes, or age.   Its extremely rare to find that absolute perfect match, they just don’t exist.  People should be open to some compromise.  Im not saying a person has to give up on your core needs, just be open to some level of adjustment.  Its also very important, a relationship is not based entirely on a kink or fetish.  There needs to be some compatibility in the vanilla side of things as well.  I believe another thing that may hinder finding that compatible mate, is not being clear as to what it is you actually mean when using general terms of interest, like BDSM, or Masochist, or Sadist.  Those can mean very different things to a lot of peeps, and may scare some off.  A lot of peeps hear those labels and automatically think it means a lot of intense physical pain.  But thats not necessarily true.   It just depends in the level of intensity and your specific definition of masochism.   Masochism can mean a lot of different things,,, It can can be as simple as just enjoying or getting pleasure from being uncomfortable.  Getting excited from being embarrassed, or mildly humiliated is a form of masochism.  I ride my Harley in temps over 100 degrees, in full gear, and in a way I enjoy the challenge,  I also enjoy enduring kinky punishments, especially when only done for a sadistic dominate partners enjoyment or entertainment.   And that can be anything from restrictions, control, bondage, spankings, etc,  but yet, I’m not a pain freak.   So does that make me a masochist?  I believe it does.    My point, its important to be clear, so at the very least, a conversation can happen and see where things may lead.   

Anyway, just my thoughts, take em for what its worth,  I don’t judge,  as its not like you get to choose the things that push your buttons.    A person needs what they need, and trying to deny them, never works in the long run.     All you can hope for, is to cross paths with the one person who you will generally mesh with.  The rest can be worked out, with a little compromise and effort.  Just keep trying, even at my age, I'm still hopeful.