Is infantilization a form of power play to you?

[Capri]

"Infantilization is when an adult is being treated like a child, even though nothing about their mental, physical, social, or intellectual wellbeing requires such treatment."

As someone fairly new to the DDlg scene I'm trying to understand the psychology of why we like this sort of dynamic. 

I remember reading something on why infantilization in relationships is unhealthy/sexist/wrong etc etc. 

But what if I like being infantilized? Sometimes I want someone to call me a little baby, explain things to me like I'm five, and tuck me in bed every night. I mean I wouldn't be on here if I didn't. I'm afraid if I bring this up to my therapist she will tell me that this is not a healthy dynamic. (Could it be Stockholm Syndrome? 😂)

I guess this works for other dynamics in bdsm too. Obviously there is a difference between liking a little pain as a masochist/sadist and straight up physical abuse. 

Anyway, back to the question:

Is infantilization a form of power play to you? 

Doesn't necessarily have to be sexual, I'd just like to hear your thoughts in general!  

[weirdunicorn]

my 2 cents: as with most things that fall under the kink umbrella, if its done with consent, intentionally to provide mutual satisfaction, then it could be power play. but it could also be abuse. and sometimes the line can be blurry. these are important, and ongoing conversations that need to be had between partners. and with your therapist. a good therapist wont be judgmental. also, its not bad to shop for a kink aware therapist either. 

[weirdunicorn]

for the record... in the right context i think roleplay like that could be really powerful and fun. 

[CodeName: Trouble]

Yes, absolutely. Even If I'm not always acting very little, being treated little hits all the right buttons. For me infantilization is a way to show tender care and let me shrug off the obligation of responsibility that I was handed way too early in life, but also as a way to be softly degraded, teased, or even humiliated. These are things I'm very into kink wise, but I want/need it through the lens of affection instead of harsher forms of psychological or physical play. It can still be super powerful and potentially damaging if done incorrectly, even if it is generally "softer". 

Like @weirdunicorn said, I think this sort of thing is unhealthy if it's not consensual and doesn't have boundaries, or your partner crosses a line from play to really thinking you're lesser in some way. I want to be seen as an intelligent and independent woman who is my partners equal in every way during important moments... I want them to love and respect me for it.... but there is something very fun about taking a strong and independent person and turning them into a submissive puddle of flustered embarrassment and playing into a power dynamic of perceived superiority.... as long as it's play and it’s consensual.

As an example.... I'm a goofy silly person, especially around my friends. My close friend growing up took a "mom" role for me, but also respected me greatly. We had a very fulfilling friendship of teasing and mutual support that did often look like infantilization to those who didn’t know us well. Some of our acquaintances mistook my goofy nature for weakness and infantilized me in a bad way, watering down who I was into a naive caricature of a person and putting me in harmful situations... that was not cool and very frustrating. Being babied by people who don't see your worth is the worst feeling  and not something I will ever stand for. There is no appeal in that at all and it is bullying and abuse and can have serious social, emotional, and physical consequences. But to have someone who genuinely cares for you, admires you, and otherwise want to build you up playing into a desire to sometimes be cherished and teased in soft moments without really losing sight of your strengths, instead just playing into a fantasy and being willing to shoulder the extra weight so you can be soft for a moment... that's nice stuff.

Sorry this is a ramble, I'm not exactly sure how to get the thoughts in my head to sound correct in writing today. I may edit this to be a bit more cohesive later

[Huggybear]

Hey there!

Capri again with the great brainticklers!

Ill approach this from a non-sexual pov and with the assumption that the 4 C:s are in place.

I was gonna say that I havent seen it as a power play, just natural instinct, but after careful consideration I have to say that yes, it is. Its propably the softest kind of powerplay you will find in a bdsm spectrum because the end goal is trust and motivation is nurture (apart from domination and pain for example). I would generalize Infantilization as encouraged regression, as its not always a baby that we aim to get to, but I can see myself using it as a powerplay to calm, coerce, motivate or protect someone. Its also a power exhange and a "call for trust" or "trustfall" in a way aswell.

Pushing your partner deeper into a vulnerable state requires some extreme levels of trust and most likely love aswell at that point but the benefits too are extreme. The cloness it creates due to the increasing vulnerability of one partner and the increasing responsibility of another generously adds to the pleasure it creates from the trust given. Trust is like a drug to a good dominant, and I would argue its more important than love in a D/S relationship. It can be euphoric on both sides so there is definately power exhange involved. Its also an incredible compliment for a CG to see that side as you freely give yourself to him/her and allow natural nurture to flow inbetween.

Futhermore, going into those headspaces it gives both the ability to truly connect and indulge your fantasies without any judgement. To really be yourself, so its not just a power play, its in its way a symbiotic scene that can lead to great relief from stress, anxiety or being hyper/overthinking. Liking it is more than perfectly natural - assuming its done by the right person.

But as always, any kind of tool that has the power to manipulate is dangerous, so I also understand why it might have a bad rep in some circles.

Edited September 2, 2024 by Huggybear