DDlg Discusstion

[desilovehellokittyyy]

ummm so I'm not new to ddlg but I have bad experience in the past with daddies who have taken avantage. but I'm now in a happy relationship.. the only problem is I told my partner about little me, and he doesn't mind, he tries to be a good daddy but he just doesn't fit the part.. I don't want to have to end our whole relationship just because he's not good at being a daddy.. I mean he was my boyfriend before that..& don't get me wrong I have explained this to him 100 times.. but Im just kinda getting tired of teaching him if anything I WANNA BE TAUGHT MORE ABOUT THIS FROM MY DADDY and I feel if he really wanted it as much as me then he'd do the research and we'd communicate about out bouderies and limits, punishments, rewards etc. anyway is it wrong that I wanna keep him as my bf but not so much a daddy.. would I be wrong to get someone else to do it for me.. I really just need to regress for like a whole day so it wouldn't be a daddy who does sexual things to me, only take care of me and help mee

[Princ3ss-Baby-Bear]

You definitely need to be patient with him, he’s responded kindly to the information by the look of things and it’s going to take time effort and practice, if you’re that desperate for a day of regression either do it on your own or find a local event to cater to the need, but maybe offer helping him search and learn more about the role and how he can work to help your headspace, don’t go giving up just yet!

[Little kaiya]

There's nothing wrong with having a caregiver who is different from a partner so long as you are completely upfront and honest with your partner. They may be ok with you having a different caregiver but that might also be a hard limit for them as well. Having a caregiver behind a partner's back, whether sexual or not, is still a form of emotional cheating.

If you feel you need time to regress with a caregiver it sounds like your options are 1) wait for him to understand and provide what you want which may or may not ever happen, 2) ask them if you can have a separate caregiver to which they may say yes but may also say no, or 3) move on. 

[beanbean]

Yeah it just doesn't sound like it's as important to him as it is to you so talk to him and make sure he understands it's not just something you say you do it's a really what you need then if he can't do that you will have to make a decision 

[babydollmira]

I agree with the comments here!, definitely give him a helping hand and ask if he can also put in the work and research it himself. and of course that doesn't work then there definitely is nothing wrong with a platonic carer, I want one myself so its understandable that you feel that way but I hope you can consider his feelings as well in all of this!

[Huggybear]

Was he aware of your little side before you got serious?
If yes, then he should put in a bit more effort into learning you and learning about the role that you would like him to fill.
If not, then we cant blame him for not fitting in and anything that follows is ultimately up to him in regards of kink.

Being a good daddy has a lot to do with personality and its not really something you can be taught to "become". Certain traits just need to be there, and by the sound of your writing, this might be an issue. You can be taught to be "better" at it , but if theres no spark from his side then im sad to say you are fighting an uphill battle. If you really want to take a leap of faith, you can guide him to this forum for example, show him some of the topics that you would want him to really understand. There is a risk involved however, as it might make him feel overwhelmed and turn away completely. I guess you really need to ask yourself how much do you need this to happen and if it doesnt, can you live with it?

It is not unheard of a little having a nonsexual daddy on the side, but that is quite complicated and kinda falls into polyamory imo because feelings unavoidedly develop both sides. I would really not recommend that approach unless you are BOTH extremely mature and open about it to eachother. If you are considering doing it in a secret then its another definite no, that would be a form of cheating as Kaiya pointed out aswell.

One positive thing I can say is you are not alone with this issue and im sure you will find alot of support, suggestions and first hand experiences here.

Good luck!

Edited August 14, 2024 by Huggybear

[NotReallyEric]

Well be patient and talk about your needs openly. I know it's cliche. But you might send him to me for a lesson or two 😁