Having a hard time getting my partner to accept DDLG

[MastersKitten]

Hi, I am relatively new to being little, I hadn't discovered this part about myself until recently and am still a bit unsure if i am even what can be considered a little. I've done some research and constantly look at ddlg tags on tumblr and the like, it makes me happy. My boyfriend, who is a very unique man who absolutely HATES labels seems to accept my little side, but there are a lot of problems. I feel it is best to present them in list form.

 

1) Before I discovered ddlg and being little, he knew there was a side of me that acted like a little girl. I don't even really know how it started but I would speak like a baby and need lots of attention. I don't generally like little girl things like coloring books, candy, or cartoons, but I love being cuddled, called princess, little girl, kitten, and basically everything that comes with a ddlg relationship. So does all that mean I am not really a little?

 

2) He doesn't know about ddlg. I have mentioned it to him, and talked to him about a couple (which I admit I had to make up) who have a ddlg relationship and he seemed rather indifferent. He didn't show disgust or dislike, but nothing of the contrary. He simply said "We aren't like them, we are ourselves" I know it has never occurred to him to look it up. I really want him to but don't want to ask him to.

 

3) If he were to look it up he would find that we are alike in some ways. He calls me princess, kitten, baby girl sometimes, he says I'm his little girl, and gives me spankies and punishments. Almost only during sex or sexual time though. I don't know how to get him to do this more during every day life. I know I can't just come out and say it because he is the kind of guy that will dismiss something he doesn't want to talk about or just changes the subject when confused.

 

4) I drop many hints but he doesn't seem to take any of them. No matter how many. Recently I sent him a picture about "punishments for bad kittens" and he seemed weirded put by some of it. I have rules, (that i kind of had to ask him to make) but he never really implements any real punishments. He says I am bad when I purposefully break them, but that's kind of it.

 

5) I can't call him daddy. He has made it clear it freaks him out when girls call their boyfriends Daddy. I call him Master and Sir during sex but it sounds so formal I want something sweeter, caregiver and daddy seem to be out of the question.

 

6) I don't know if he even likes the kind of relationship we already have. Sometimes I asks him why he lets me act like a little girl and every time he just tells me he loves me for who i am and wants me to be myself. i start to think maybe he hates it but just does't want to hurt me.

 

This is a lot I know, but it is important to me I really need help I feel vulnerable and scared and I don't know what to to. 

 

[lilvioletcub]

Befre I awnser I should mention that you should look up if people have already brought up these topics/issues before becuse I know for fact these are common quesitons

 

1) All littles are diffrent (there is already a topic on this)

 

2) Then tell him about DD/lg and actually show him sites, talk to him coummincation is key

 

3) Again TALK WITH THE BOY COUMMINCATION IS KEY you can't assume you need to talk talk talk and more talking

 

4)Men don't do hints well its a biological brain reasoning behind it you need to flat out tell him and again talk

 

5) alpha, papa, pop, dada, again if you look though this site there is already a topic with a list of names somewhere

 

6)That is just your inscutiry's TALK TO HIM talk and talk and talk DD/lg is 90% comminication and 10% compatablity

[Guest littlemissragamuffin]

Well you can't actually make him like or enjoy DD/LG. With that being said.

 

Just like everyone else, all Littles are different. You don't have to enjoy coloring or kiddie cartoons. You are your own person, it's ok for you to have your own likes and dislikes.

 

If he doesn't know anything about DD/LG you'll have to tell him about it. Many people don't recommend that you have him google it on his own. Instead you should talk to him about explain what it is that draws you to it. It might also help to call it CG/L (care giver/little) instead of DD/LG as the term Daddy can be off setting for people. If you leave him to do blind research he could get the wrong idea, there's alot of negative out there about DD/LG from dumb closed minded people that think they know what it's about without ever being involved.

 

Just because the term Daddy Dom is generally used for male doms/care givers doen't mean you have to call him Daddy. Again everyone is different. Master and Sir are commly used. You can call your mate whatever you and your mate want to be called. It's your relationship, it's about what works for you and your mate. Not what works for others.

 

If he loves you for you then I wouldn't worry about titles to much. I mean, a title isn't really what's important in a relationship. It's the relationship and the people involved in it. If he says he loves you and wants you to be you, that's a good thing. If your scared about your relationship then you need to talk to him about it. But also remember that he might be totally ok with who you are but might not be a DD(which is OK) not everyone is a DD, just like not everyone is a Little. Everyone is different. Don't try to force him to be a Daddy, it's more important to be loved by someone for who you are than whether that person is a DD. You got to do what is right for your relationship, not what's right for someone else's.

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

Sounds to me that you're in a ddlg relationship to all intents and purposes, you just don't call him daddy, and he struggles naming what you have.

Does it matter? Would him agreeing to calling it by a particular name make your relationship better? And if he doesn't like the name daddy, let it go. Seriously. If that's so important to you, over all the good things you share, that's not good. It's a word, a name. Some use it some don't. He won't ever change his mind about that. And even if he said you could call him that, he would hate it. Would you prefer that? Resentment just so you can call him one name? Really gonna have to let that one go.

If you have the relationship you need, be thankful. Many aren't even close. Try not obsess about what you see on Tumblr. Not every relationship fits what you see on there.

[MastersKitten]

Thank you all, I guess I just have to gather the courage to talk to him, straight to the point. I suppose I'm just scared of losing him if things go wrong, so i really hope they don't. Thanks again for all the advice.