Being little and lonely: The fear of being alone

[Yoshi_Yoshi]

Fresh out of breakup I know it normal to feel lonely. But as a little the sadness and fear just feel so much more intense. I’m going through so many cycle of emotions, feeling like it’s my fault, missing him, mourning. But they all circle back to one thing: the  fear of being alone. We’ve all seen this type of post “I’ll never find a daddy”, I’ve been on both sides comforting people telling them not not give and right now I am the one who’s afraid. Despite knowing all the advice I’ve given others and I’ve given myself. It’s only human, everyone wants to be loved and accepted. But live and acceptance can come from many places not just a romantic interest. Yet despite this knowledge I still fear being alone.

Which is strange since I love being alone, I like doing my own thing, I like my twin bed, I like single player games, I like day dreaming. I have wonderful friend and loving family, but I’m terrified of not finding a partner. Someone who thinks I’m pretty, someone who wants to kiss me someone who wakes up and sends me a good morning text and of course someone who loves the little me as-well, who finds her adorable and instead of strange.

In almost 22 and I’ve never had a real relationship I’m still virgin. I feel behind the rest of my peers, all my friends have dated or are dating.  I don’t want to date out side the community because I’m scared of being judged I sleep with stuffies, I watch cartoons, I struggle a lot with veggies and I’m an abdl I’m a little and while I don’t regress that part of me it’s always has. She’s a part of me and each rejection I take the little inside of me takes it even harder.

It’s a scary world full of scary people, I’m worried I’ll get hurt in my search for companionship. Because I’ve already been hurt by people who I at least thought were pretty nice. But I’m also afraid of not having a liver. So I guess it’s matter of what I’m more afraid of.

i hope this made sense, a big gold star 🌟  to whoever reads through my ramble. If you have thoughts or advice please share. 

 

[Lonely Dad]

I think that the feeling of loneliness apply to both caregivers and littles, it's perfectly normal as us humans are social animals. I know what you're going through, that feeling of your world collapsing abruptly can be quite overwelming and tough to handle. I'd like to comfort you with a message of hope if you allow me to, you are still very young and seem to be a really kind person so just be patient, take some time to digest your breakup and don't worry too much about finding someone quickly, and of course you can count on us to listen to you and support you however we can. Thanks for the gold star by the way 

[beanbean]

I do get that lonlyness can be hard .it's hard but you got to fight through it and realize your worth and yes having a dom would be great but forcing something will be work out so just be you and do the best you can and then maybe as something will come through 

[BabyBrattyKittyKatty]

3 hours ago, Yoshi_Yoshi said:

each rejection I take the little inside of me takes it even harder.

It’s a scary world full of scary people, I’m worried I’ll get hurt in my search for companionship

Of coooooourse!!! You are already doing better than you think, all things considered. 

I wanna empower your little a bit and tell her she is being pretty strong, and I really trust her ability to heal! She's badass and resilient! Cuz she deals with scary people everyday and keeps you running! Now she just wants some time to rest 😋

Making a little self care list sounds fun! Crafty stuff and taking walks? Helping others and watching and experiencing nature. When you're ready and could use a distraction, of course. Crying feels good, just stay hydrated 😆 Deep breaths and upbeat music sometimes work surprisingly well!

I'm just babbling. But want you to feel witnessed! 

[D&Daddy]

There's a world of difference between being alone and being lonely. I love spending time alone, I love being able to shut myself off from the world for a time. But I absolutely hate being lonely, that feeling of not having someone beside you when you need it. So suffice to say it's not strange at all.

There's nothing that will take that feeling just snap and go away, it's something you need to accept because it's part of who we are. What's important is that you don't let it control you. It's easy to give in to the feeling and want just anyone in the hopes of making the feeling go away, but that's not good either. Focus on the good in your life, things you have that make you happy as you say like your friends and family, hobbies you enjoy like your video games and arts and crafts.

And also that whole falling behind your peers thing, everyone moves at their own pace. You're very young and have a lot going for you so just because you see others jumping into things doesn't mean you have to as well. You'll do it when it's right.

[NotReallyEric]

The biggest paradox is I love being alone. But I obviously hate feeling lonely. Luckily I have friends that serve as a little band-aid but in the long term, the healthiest thing to do is to learn to live with your loneliness and not stress yourself over it, otherwise it just gets worse. Just focus on what matters and on those people you already have around.

I'm trying to get to that point, I'll let you know when I get there.

[NR_Daddy]

There's so many ways to describe feelings. Alone is being by oneself. Lonely is having no friends or company, but by far the worst are solitary and isolated, which is like having nobody at all to turn to. I've experienced the latter, and still do to a degree.

While it's normal to feel lonely, it's also about the cause. Before you had someone, you filled your time speaking to other people and doing other things, and getting accustomed to that again is daunting, especially when it's unexpected and fresh.

The only way to deal with the feelings you have now is to keep yourself occupied so those feeling don't overcome you. Making yourself suffer is not good for you. Believe me I know.

Reach out to family or friends if possible, and try to organise something to do to keep yourself busy. If you had a routine before, ensure that you follow it. It helps keep some sort of normality going.

[Wafflechunks]

I definitely feel a lot of that. Haven’t been in any type of relationship either, surrounded by people that have moved on to get married and maybe have kids. As much as you want to be happy for other people there’s still always gonna be that part of you that’s wondering when it’ll be your turn.

It’s really terrifying to really meet new people, especially people who don’t find this stuff strange, even if you know where to find people that don’t mind it. My advice is just find a way to stay busy. Focus on school, work, hobbies, whatever you want to keep yourself distracted. That’s at least what I do. Wish you luck and hope you feel better sooner rather than later.

[WolfMoon2024]

It's natural to feel overwhelmed with emotion, even if you rationally know they are temporary feelings. Voluntarily spending time alone is much different than involuntarily loneliness, but where you feel like you are drowning now, you will come out the other side for air before you know it. Hope you are doing well and keep your chin up.

[Yoshi_Yoshi]

Thank you all for your kind responses, it really means a lot. I been a week I still feel strange but the world doesn’t feel like it ending anymore which is nice... he messaged me again and asked me to come back I had to tell him no which was really hard but I knew after having this time to reflect that it was for the best. That set me back a bit in my healing but I know I can go forward.

[beanbean]

30 minutes ago, Yoshi_Yoshi said:

Thank you all for your kind responses, it really means a lot. I been a week I still feel strange but the world doesn’t feel like it ending anymore which is nice... he messaged me again and asked me to come back I had to tell him no which was really hard but I knew after having this time to reflect that it was for the best. That set me back a bit in my healing but I know I can go forward.

I know that was hard glad you said no .I was always able to do that sadly

[Huggybear]

I think you made the right decision saying no recently. I noticed you reached out the community when he was having trouble and really tried to help. Thats more than many would do. He still chose to leave you behind and shelf you - thats not acceptable behaviour. Your healing has started and I hope it keeps on going strong.

Id like to add that youre still extremely young, so try to ignore the peer pressure. Its totally OK to take your time and look for someone who matches you better. Its a smart thing to do to stay inside the community, then you know that theres atleast a potential for emotional fullfilment on both sides :). Kinksters tend to have a harder time and it ofc takes longer to find someone. Be merciful to yourself and good luck!!