How do you get past the embarrassment?

[MinnesotaMouse]

Hello, I have always been interested in DDLG, but I struggle to really give it a go. Specifically I am having trouble getting past the ashamed and embarrassed feeling that I am into this stuff even though I am an adult with a child of my own. I never tell anyone about my stuffy collection.. How do I move past this?

[MasterPhotog]

@MinnesotaMouse, thank you for starting this great topic.
Embarrassment of any kind, including discussing your stuffed animal collection, reflects low self-confidence and self-esteem. Overcoming embarrassment can be challenging, but following strategies can help you deal with it:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: Recognize that feeling embarrassed is a natural human response. Accepting your emotions can help you deal with them more effectively.
- Talk About It: Sharing your experience here can provide emotional support and help you see the situation from a different perspective.
- Gain Perspective: Remind yourself that everyone experiences embarrassment about something at some point.
- Use Humor: If appropriate, laugh at yourself. Making light of the situation can diffuse tension and show others that you’re not overly bothered by it.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself an speak to yourself the way you would to a friend who was embarrassed.
Let's see what others have to say about it. Feel free to let me know if I can be of further help. Best of luck!

[MinnesotaMouse]

That is very insightful. Thank you very much!! 

[PrincessCarmilla]

Embarrassment can come from a sense of shame. This is a feeling that you're not up to the standards of yourself or others that results in a need to hide. It's also what I'm seeing in the subtext of what you posted. What was especially telling was that you used the word "ashamed"

On 7/30/2024 at 2:10 PM, MinnesotaMouse said:

the ashamed and embarrassed feeling that I am into this stuff even though I am an adult with a child of my own

Ask yourself, why is that? Were you shamed by others at any point for having stuffed animals? Or is it from how you might see society perceives you? 

On 7/30/2024 at 2:10 PM, MinnesotaMouse said:

How do I move past this?

I'll tell you something my therapist friend recommended: Shame wants us to externalize our disconnection, because that's what it is at its core, a sense of social disconnection. The way to defeat is by turning in to connection.

Simply by joining this forum, you're already trying to find community. Simply by bringing it up and allowing yourself to talk about this sense of embarrassment, you're creating connection where shame doesn't want you to. Simply by being here, right now, you're already starting to fight back.

Continue talking about it here, among like minded friends. If you feel up to it, share your collection of stuffies. Shoot, if you're interested, I could start! Eventually, not now but eventually, maybe see about joining a little's munch near you to physically be with other middles and littles and maybe find an in person friend.

Remember: embarrassment and shame wants us to hide away from others. The best way to really fight it is by aiming for connection instead of the disconnection shame desires.

For further reading, here is a resource on Shame by Psychology Today

 

Also, MasterPhotog has some good recommendations too

[BabyBrattyKittyKatty]

It's easier said than done, but this feelings of shame could be an opportunity for you to not only scrutinize judgement of yourself but of others. By making an effort to see a part of you that you weren't accepting before, you are able to accept people for enjoying who they are and minding their own business.

Might also be helpful to examine what exactly you feel ashamed of, like what specifically behind this desire you find shameful? And why so, what adjectives you are using and how objective do you think they really are?

Wanting or needing something different doesn't make you lesser than. You're probably doing excellently at something else that "regular" people can't.

I also wanna echo the wise people above that I sense you don't expect to be able to find acceptance or understanding from your current support system. This may or may not be true. I'd say take your time with it, discovering yourself is never a streamline process. This may be true to many subs, but for me at least- the ability to accept and own my desire to be dominated actually answered to my self doubt about whether I'm a submissive because I am too weak. At least I'm one step stronger for taking agency and admitting who I am instead of timidly judging myself. I honestly don't know if I will always be a little, but it's definitely a significant part of my process. One step at a time.

Ok those are my two cents to add!

[Gentleman_Daddy]

Typically speaking, the more confident and happy you are with yourself the less you really care what other people think.