Not each others forever (advice please)

[Yoshi_Yoshi]

I met with my dom for the first time this weekend, we’ve been talking for a few months now and he’s the first real dom I’ve ever had. He said he wanted to see if I’m his forever girl and by the end we had serious Conversation he said realistically he doesn’t think we’ll last forever we’re far away and there is an age difference (I’m 21 going on 22) and he’s 32) he said he likes and cares about me that I’m special to him and that wants keeping going in being my dom. And he was right we are different but he makes feel really safe.

Im not sure if he’s my forever either. He talked about how with his past girlfriends he felt this spark and he hasn’t felt it with me and that confuses me if his feelings are romantic or platonic or some weird in between. I haven’t felt any super spark either but we’ve talked for hours on the phone, snuggled and kissed in real life. He changed my diapers no one’s ever touched me there before, we didn’t have sex but it was the closest I’ve ever been. So even if there wasn’t a spark there was something, right? Which is why I said yes to continuing to talk to him and continuing to be his sub. Even though we’re different and even though he’s 6 hours away.

He said it could go on for 5 days or 5 years we’re both lonely we both like each other even if it’s in a way that’s hard to define, we should keep having fun and if it starts doing more harm then help or if we find someone else it end. And I guess that how any relationship goes really but it feels different because well this a different relationship, It’s weird thinking that there’s one day we’re the ball could drop and this will end and it makes me sad. I’ve been mourning something’s that’s not over, which is dumb but I can’t help it. 

I don't really know what advice I’m looking for, but some insight would be nice. To anyone who’s reading this the whole way through, thank you, I’m sending you a big hug.
 

 

 

 

[PrincessCarmilla]

So I'm speaking as someone who never feels a "spark" with someone but I want to say that sparks can fly but it doesn't mean it will create a lasting relationship. What really does is communication and a deeper desire to keeping close. 

"Sparks" in a relationship generally means some level of infatuation which eventually and inevitably die out. It's that honeymoon period people always talk about. But a real lasting relationship requires an active verb, "love," instead of an adjective, "infatuate." In other words, those sparks never last, but a good match can burn even warmer as the light from the fire dies down.

Also, someone doesn't need to be the same to be a good match. In fact, some relationship experts say that it's better to find someone who's complimentary. My partner for example is pretty different from me but we work well together. I grew up managing my adhd brother so i know how to keep their adhd rear on task but I am also an introvert who sometimes needs a push to go outside. It's about playing to our individual strengths and respecting each other's challenges in life.

I think that so long as the two of you keep trying and eventually reduce your physical distances (I knew my partner for nearly 3 years before they moved across a continent so we could be together), it just might work out