Growing Out of It

[LeftyGuitar]

Hi all,

Recently I've been thinking about the lifestyle and how I've grown and changed throughout the years. As I grow older, I feel as if I'm slightly growing out of the lifestyle or that I don't really need it, for lack of better words. I'm sure having lots of bad luck with it doesn't help, but again at the same time, I feel as if its alure (the lifestyle) is waning on me. As for now, I'll probably keep an account on here, since I am having fun on here, regardless of if I find someone on here or not. Just wondering if others had similar thoughts. 

[beanbean]

We really enjoy you here so for sure stuck around.but I get I have ebbs and flows that I like the life style and maybe it will go for real one day but I can't see my self leaving as this feels like home now but the best of luck in whatever you do

[RavenclawPrincess]

I feel sort of like that too. I still dig being little but at this point I don't feel the need to have a partner because it's legit that hard to find someone compatible enough and it's been a long journey over the years. I've grown accustomed to not having a caregiver and I manage everything on my own just fine. I wouldn't say that my interest in the lifestyle has waned but the desire to have a partner sure has dissipated for me and that's a pretty big part of how things usually go. I happen to enjoy asking myself for permission to eat cookies and always having the answer be yes lol! Maybe I'd feel differently if I met the right person to compliment my experiences as a little but I'm cool without that aspect of the lifestyle. So I guess the allure of wanting the other half of a partnership is the part that's pretty much gone for me. 

[Little kaiya]

I've found my desire in DDlg has waned a bit but moreso when I'm on my own. I just don't have the same desire to play, watch kids shows or read kids books etc. When I'm with my Daddy the desires and willingness to just let go are significantly stronger.

[LeftyGuitar]

Thank you for the replies. I also feel as if I don't really care to go into little space unless I have a CG or I have to be in a certain mood for it. Also, after being burned by my last mommy pretty bad, I've put my up defense forces pretty high, so finding a new mommy isn't going to be a easy task, not like it was in the first place with how rare they are. Also, being a switch can also complicate things a bit, as there is a tendnacy to ocassionally switch from being sub to dom or vice versa. Finding someone would be nice, but at the same time, I'm fine being single. Of course I'll leave my options open, just in case.

[floralsforspring]

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Edited July 8, 2024 by floralsforspring

[RavenclawPrincess]

I think we have opposite problems. I'm legit good on my own as far as little space/taking care of myself is concerned, so a potential partner would have to make what I have going on better which is a tall order or they need to leave me alone re: partnership because like I said, I'm fine lol. It's funny how that's the case but we still end up having similar feelings about growing out of certain aspects of the lifestyle, even when the details are different. It's always good to keep your mind open and accept that one day your circumstances could change and the right person could still come along eventually because you never know. I think getting burned by previous partners is also something that a lot of people in the community have in common. That's probably what kicked my already independent personality into overdrive to the point that I don't care that I don't have a caregiver. I know you've been around the forum for years too and I'm sorry that you haven't found the person you're looking for, but it's great that you're at a point now where you're alright with being single. There's always gonna be friends to enjoy and interesting conversations to engage in around here at the very least. You've always come off as a nice guy and I'll be glad you're here for as long as you want to stick around 🙂

[LeftyGuitar]

I plan on sticking around for now. Yes I've been looking for a long time, but I'm also fine with being single as well. After so long, I think you just kinda realize, you kinda grow out of certain things. However as for now, I'll leave my options open for now and see what happens.

[floralsforspring]

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Edited July 12, 2024 by floralsforspring

[floralsforspring]

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Edited July 12, 2024 by floralsforspring

[Jmeurry]

On 7/7/2024 at 7:38 PM, Little kaiya said:

I've found my desire in DDlg has waned a bit but moreso when I'm on my own. I just don't have the same desire to play, watch kids shows or read kids books etc. When I'm with my Daddy the desires and willingness to just let go are significantly stronger.

As Aristotle thought, life is meant to be shared. Growth and experience come from being a member of a community (including this one!) and from individuals closest to you. The beauty of this dynamic, is that it really is intended to be enacted as one cohesive unit. When I separated from my wife, we both lost a common experience base. What I love about kink and about my limited but intense DDlg experience is that while the cohesive family unit slowly appears to be disintegrating as social media, capitalism, and individualism increase im society, these dynamics bring a functional ritual to bring the family or S/o unit closer together again. 

[Mogoira]

When i got into the lifestyle i was warned by a friend who was a Daddy, that some little are little for life and some are little to heal something with in them.  For the first,  they can find a daddy and be good forever,  for the second they will heal and their needs will eventually change.  Neither is wrong,  but you should have a sense of your motivation.  

[NR_Daddy]

I suppose it's difficult to maintain an interest as a single person in a dynamic that essentially requires two people to make it work, especially if you've tried finding someone and not had much in the way of success.

To me there seems to be many Daddies compared to littles, and with any lifestyle, there are those that have different wants and needs and they are not always 100% compatible, but that's part of life.

What makes us individual is also what makes us different from others, and people tend to focus on that, rather than looking at what makes us similar and embracing that. 

Modern society seems to have people defined at polar opposites instead of looking at common bonds and accepting people have differences. Life is about compromises sometimes. Look for someone with similar interests and accept they might have some slightly different ones.

You can use those differences to broaden your horizons, even if it isn't something you'd ordinarily do. You could embrace it just for the sake of the other person. I've done that many times and get a kick from making the other person feel special for it.

[Kitten&Spice]

I have to say that I too have struggled with the same thing. When I first discovered my little space I was still learning a lot about myself. I used it a lot as an escape and even now I go back into the same habits I used. Life recently the past few years really challenged me and my little space suffered from just straight up loneliness. I am sure I speak for others when I say there is a limit to how much you can do alone before it starts to ache at your heart. When something you once used as a way to heal becomes painful your interest leave. And like you said it feels like you aren’t getting what you need. I think of it like a sandwich with no bread. Yea you can still eat the sandwich but it doesn’t feel right without it. We can be littles or caregivers but without the other half it just doesn’t feel complete. 

[Guest Daddy Doug]

I feel I'm at the stage of growing into it. I'm still fairly new to it and am keen to explore it and support others finding there way around it.