Ghosting. Well all hate it.

[Cheecharonez]

Ghosting seems to be a pretty big problem just in general dating but within ddlg and kink it just feels so much worse. Yeah there is the conversations that fizzle out and don’t make it out of reddit or whatever website thats pretty normal. Maybe it’s just how I am as a daddy but I feel I can’t “take it slow” while getting to know someone and learning all about them. It leaves me burned for often than not and I know both daddies and littles have the same ghosting issues. I also know there could be a lot of factors in why people ghost in the first place but it’s just the unknowing that hurts you know.  I feel ddlg and kink require such a strong connection built of communication and trust. When what’s built just disappears like that without warning it’s disheartening. I’ve had an experience like this recently and it still bothers me so I figured I’d make a post and get some of my thoughts out into the void lol. I know this is something a lot of people have to go through so just remember tomorrow is a new day with new experiences and happiness to come!

[Little kaiya]

I think ghosting often happens when people jump right into the deep end without building any kind of foundation first. Emotions are high initially and everything seems to sparkle and shine, then that artifical high fades. There aren't really any good reasons for ghosting in my mind but there do seem to be common factors that keep coming up.

I'm always surprised when you see brand new folks posting and then with a week they're like, "I found my CG or little". Then usually another week or two goes by and you see a post about being ghosted. Nothing can 100% prevent ghosting but I would suggest taking time to get to know people will help minimize it happening

[shadowrider]

I agree, take it slow and communicate, then communicate some more. Too often we see the types that Little Kaiya was referencing. They come in and make an ad, hook up with the first person in their inbox, then get their feelings hurt only to try the same method all over again. There are also people who are only in it for the hookup so once you give them the goodies its game over. If you're into the hookup scene thats fine. But don't get upset when they get what they want and bounce. It happens online just like in real life.

An example of what I see a lot of.  We just had someone make an account on Friday night and immediately make an ad. Saturday afternoon they were deleting because, and I quote, "I can't find what I am looking for". Any "relationship" that you can find in 24 hrs is most probably going to crash and burn within 72 hrs. Why put yourself through that ?

Ghosting does suck and you shouldn't do it. But at the same time if you are setting yourself up in that position who is to blame ? If you know that 95 out of 100 dogs bite you don't pet random dogs looking for those 5 that don't. If you know the majority of people online are not genuine you don't jump in a "relationship" with every one you see trying to find the one that doesn't hurt you. Its common sense and taking care of yourself. Take time. If they bounce prematurely oh well, dodged another bullet in my book.

[beanbean]

8 hours ago, Little kaiya said:

I think ghosting often happens when people jump right into the deep end without building any kind of foundation first. Emotions are high initially and everything seems to sparkle and shine, then that artifical high fades. There aren't really any good reasons for ghosting in my mind but there do seem to be common factors that keep coming up.

I'm always surprised when you see brand new folks posting and then with a week they're like, "I found my CG or little". Then usually another week or two goes by and you see a post about being ghosted. Nothing can 100% prevent ghosting but I would suggest taking time to get to know people will help minimize it happening

Mostly that tho it's the internet lol so be careful every once in a while you will get one that's really just fake I was talking with one fer a year didn't ever want to see the signs of boy that took a long time to get over lol.so yes be careful ask questions be be vigilant and don't think the worst of people but pay attention to the warning signs too

[AlleyKat]

It does always sucks when that happens. I can understand especially in this space. It can hurt but like the others said maybe it was the best to find something else. I am the same way I like learning a lot about someone before anything more. Wish you the best 😃

[dorkydaddydom]

I think there needs to be a distinction made. There's is things like conversations just going nowhere and fizzling out, I bet we've all been there when it devolves mostly into smalltalk and short replies. At some point the conversation just ends so I don't really consider it ghosting, I personally will still reach out and point out I don't think the convo will go anywhere and we can just as well end it, but a lot of people will not and just never reply anymore.

Then there's the real ghosting. Talking to someone, having a good convo and then suddenly poof without a word. These people are utter trash, especially if the convo has been going for a long time and they led you on or even started a dynamic with you. It's a hill I'll die on, people always argue "well maybe something happened to them" or "dynamics change and people lose interest"  - yeah sure but that doesn't justify ghosting someone without a word you pretended to care about. I can accept someone losing interest or wanting something else, but just say so. Then there's the people that talk to several people at once, showing interest to all of them and then just pick one and ditch the rest without a word. It fine to talk to several people when looking for a partner, especially online. But I think it's shitty making all of them equally think you're genuinely interested and then just poof - again just say you're not interested anymore and found someone else.

It's a big issue and has left me seriously marred, to a point where I genuinely didn't think anyone I meet online is being genuine and is going to poof anyway. I still somewhat carry that attitude honestly and it helped me a lot when it does happen and when it doesn't it makes things just even more meaningful.