Have any littles started their DDLG relationship in a Vanilla one?

[Kristen_Kitty92]

Hey everyone!

 

I'm not sure if there is already a post on this topic. If there is and I missed it I didn't mean to duplicate.

 

So I've had an interest in BDSM since I was about 18. It's always just what I've naturally been into and now more recently, the DD/LG dynamic. But, unfortunately, I've always been very hesitant, and closed up when it comes to communicating what I want with my partner. It's a bit of embarrassment/fear of being judged that's prevented me from being open about it. I've now been with my boyfriend for 4 years who is a complete vanilla. I actually came kinda close to telling him what kind of dynamic/intimacy I prefer but I got a very bad reaction from him when I brought it up. He said it was "Weird" and said he wasn't interested in trying anything to do with BDSM. That was about two years ago and since then I just dropped the topic because I'm so in love with him and felt like our relationship as it is now was enough. Buuuut, I still feel a void without at least exploring a kink relationship. Obviously if he just flat out has no interest, or if it makes him very uncomfortable I'm not going to try to force it. But the one convo we had about it two years ago was so short and we were a bit younger so I'm wanting to bring it up again and see how he reacts.

 

SO, my question is have any of you guys started out in a "Vanilla" relationship that led to a BDSM or DD/LG one? How did you bring it up to your partner and how did they react? I'm quite nervous about getting a bad reaction again and would love to hear some y'alls stories to help me work up the courage!

[Guest Ginger-Kit]

hi hi ^-^

 

My relationship did start out purely vanilla. We gradually started trying things relating to BDSM (light bondage and choking mostly) and then I suggested one day he call me Kitten. He admitted later on he found it a bit weird, but if it made me happy, why not? I think that was about 9 months ago? We've been together for almost 3 years now (I'm really hesitant and nervous about bringing things up I think I'll be judged for).

 

Maybe 5 or 6 months back, I told him I'd like some rules. He was a bit confused, so I explained my reasoning out to him, which he didn't wholly agree with, but consented and gave me a few rules anyways. He's gotten a bit more strict as time has progressed x3 I showed him my Tumblr (Lots and lots of DDLG there!) and he asked if I was into calling him Daddy, which I'm not... I just prefer his name honestly, or at times I'll tease him and say he's like a big brother and we just roll with it

[Guest buddhagirl]

Yes, mine did. For me, though, I saw things in my Daddy (boyfriend, at the time) that made me think he might be interested in BDSM and DDlg so I started to playfully introduce a little bit into our sexual relationship. Then one day I called him Daddy and that freaked him out and then we had the real talk. It was totally new to him and he didn't understand or feel comfortable with DDlg at first. But he wants me to be happy, so he was open to learning more. Well, it turns out he is a natural Daddy and needed a little girl as much as I needed a Daddy. Now we're married and all is well in Daddy/princess land.

[plumplilprincess]

I met my Daddy my freshman year in high school, so of course things started out very vanilla, because I wasn't open about my kinks. Maybe about a year or two ago I told him I was into BDSM, we tried it and he really liked it. But things got very high stress and he lost interest, and for a long while I felt that void that you talked about. A few weeks ago, he decided he wanted to try it again. So we did. But he told me that something didn't feel right. (Keep in mind my Daddy is a very sensitive, caring, emotional person so the sadism isn't quite there for him). So we dove into the abyss of the internet and researched different types of Doms and subs, and stumbled across the DD/lg dynamic. He seemed a bit weirded out at first, especially with being called Daddy, but now things have blossomed. He loves taking care of little me and I love being his princess.

[DaddysLolita]

Sure did. Although I guess we were never completely vanilla. He's always been very protective of me and dominating in a way. Referring to me early on as Princess or Little girl. We were both always interested in more than vanilla...but more the D/s side..then as we learned more, it naturally progressed right into DD/lg. There were a few hiccups and we had several conversations surrounding the issues but all in all its worked well.

 

He's always pushed me to be open about my needs and wants and is pretty open minded. So one day after playing around with the idea of D/s in the bedroom, I told him I wanted to talk to him about it more seriously, being a lifestyle and not a once in a while type of thing. We explored..he's not much into sadism, not into control just to have it, there's a softer side of dominance with him. So we explored more and came across DD/lg...

 

<3

[Guest AllAboutYou]

I had one very long term relationship and it started out vanilla and it stayed that way through the entire relationship.  A couple of years before the end, I found myself starting to get interested in different aspects of BDSM.  But we had had such a long-terms vanilla relationship, I was like you, hesitant to bring it up.  But unlike you, I never even tried.  Had our relationship been more open, I might not have feared being judged and said something, but I didn't.  My thought about your situation is that you should not ignore your desire for BDSM.  It will probably only grow stronger, and being open with your significant other about it now is huge.  You can even gently ease into the conversation, siting the short one you had a couple of years earlier and how you felt hurt by his reaction.  And that it's important enough to you to have another talk about it, and would he mind?  If approached gently about it, he might be more willing to listen and consider what you have to say.

Good luck!

[Harley_Quinn]

Hai! my relationship started as Dom/Sub and when i mentioned i liked DDLG and being a little he was completely for it cause he was also into it :3 In fact we aren't usually even vanilla in public. He prefers we are who we are no matter where we are :3 so Vanilla isn't something i ever have to be again :3

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

Hi there!

 

There is a masterpost about this very topic that you can find here: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5623-how-to-tell-your-vanilla-partner/

 

Because this is a duplicate thread, I will be locking it.