Older Daddies and Younger Daddies

[VSoftDaddyDomV]

I had my first Little at 19. That lasted less than week, why? I was so immature that I couldn't even drive to her. As I grew up I finally succeeded at about 26 to 29 fostering a DDLG relationship of sorts. Though in reality it was a total mess until after 31; why you might ask?

I got my first job at 18. I didn't start driving confidently on major roads till 26, which is late for most Americans. Not Europeans mind you which are a whole other topic altogether. I was still living with family till my late 20s. Wasn't till my 30s I moved out with my Little and we got a place. I expected them to take some basic responsibilities on and they expected the same of me. I paid all the bills, took care of all the chores, and I cleaned the entire house, cooked and did all the shopping or at least 95% of it. I had been raised in a family with lots of family so I was trained in that and it was expected to pitch in without question. Goes back to the old days... I think I took too much on! I didn't realize at that age that arrangement wasn't truly a happy one. Didn't stop me from trying!

I notice in young American men they're immature. My nephew who is 24 moved in with his Mommy Dom and can't drive, works but can't take care of himself in any capacity. This is the norm. I was cooking, cleaning and basically taking care of my siblings by 19, and providing for them financially as well cause the family was broke. I don't see how people can see someone who is that inexperienced to be an IRL daddy. On-line, emotionally supportive, or another branch of the relationship, yea...That or European where in many places(not all) they simply grow up earlier) as now my sort of stunted youth is actually the normal. 

I see a lot of failed DDLG relationships and then I think back to being between 18 where I was looking for a Mommy. By 19 becoming a Daddy Dom but incapable of being one. Then by 30 being actually sort of capable of it... Though still lacking some of the emotional maturity for it. How anyone expects anyone under 30 to take care of their extreme emotional needs/traumas/care for them unless they're an exceptionally mature individual would strike me as rare. 1 in a few...

 

I have seen some REALLY mature younger people. And some really immature older people. So it's a generalization but still most often true. I didn't have the skills to even take care of a person till late in life and in my day people grew up fast. Now they grow up slow. I see some who take it on at 20-27 but I wonder if there isn't risks in this. Like I find that later one finds out that it's heaps of responsibility and they won't feel they missed out on their youth.

 

Edited May 16, 2024 by VSoftDaddyDomV

[VSoftDaddyDomV]

And yeah there is love and there is the magic of the dynamic. Not going to deny it and wow that's an amazing feeling I think the real glue that keeps people together in this generally socially unacceptable relationship subcategory. Though I have found that 'love' was not enough for people to often put aside things or make exceptions not young people or people not devoted to the concept of a lifemate/love for life. And the type of person that chooses that path is exceedingly rare and if you're not choosing it for that then you're doomed to a 'short term relationship'. again and again...??? anyone agree or disagree, thoughts feelings? We can put the shoe on the other foot but interesting to start here! Thanks for reading if you bothered!

[Kittyara207]

Wow.  Love this.  Want to respond fully to this but getting ready for work.  

[beanbean]

So maybe a lot of what you say I can see ringing true in so many levels. experience is earned life is hard the best way to get better at life is to learn and that takes time so older daddy's do have some advantages. Tho I also think younger daddy's can sometimes have advantages too for sure lol in something's sometimes that lack of experiences can turn out to be good.at the end of the day will can be do is learn and the people that do that have a chance to be good daddy's 

[Cebakes]

While you say this is a generalization , it is true.  There will be exceptions, but the majority do fall under what you have described and I don’t disagree with your thought process.  

I hear similar comments  in general from  the younger women I interact with and  my old middle.  Your comment about dealing with trauma and complex issues is spot on, especially since our brains aren’t fully developed until age 25.  

With that being said,, age and experience does not always guarantee that one is going to be a good daddy…..

 

 

 

[Josey Wales]

Being an older Daddy Dom and an experienced one has its advantages but that doesn’t necessarily put younger Daddy Dom at a disadvantage! I think the chemistry between Daddy and little has more to do about the success of a relationship and of course the mutual need to please the other . Still you can be young and wise   Wisdom has no age it’s more of a mindset of caring , an atmosphere an environment of mutual love and respect. Old / young doesn’t really define a Daddy , age is just a number   Well that’s my two cents. I can certainly understand where you are coming from, great post ! 

[Little kaiya]

I have a younger Daddy, He turns 25 this year, and I will say I think maturity is much more important than biological age. Is He earlier on in life when it comes to financial stability, yes, but that's not something that I find imports in a Daddy. 

He demonstrates maturity far beyond His years and a definite tenderness and care that I've seen older Caregivers lack. In terms of relationship longevity we are headed into 7 years together in the Fall and again, I think longer relationships are outside the norm sadly.

All that said, I do think He is an exception and the majority of the time older Caregivers do bring something to the table that young Caregivers don't typically demonstrate.

Edited May 17, 2024 by Little kaiya

[MissNMTX]

I think there's a difference between maturity and perspective. Yes, generally speaking the older you are the more experience and perspective you have on a number of matters. 

Perspective isn't maturity though. In that sense age really is just a number. I've engaged with older "daddies" that weren't mature at all. Couldn't handle their own well-being, finances, etc. yet, because they were older they thought they could be a "daddy". Equally, I've engaged with younger guys who were much more focused on achieving their goals and have very well developed emotional IQs.

It really is just all a toss up. You have to take everything on an individual basis and keep trying to find what works for you.