Mixed Signals from a potential DD

[kira1]

Hi! I kind of just wanted to get this off my chest, but advice and words of wisdom are also welcome.

I'm very new to this all and recently started chatting with a potential DD. It's only been a couple days since we started talking but I was really starting to feel comfortable with him. He has been very understanding and kind, and I thought we got on well but conversations have been slowing down and I'm really getting in my head wondering if I'm boring to talk to, if he doesn't find me attractive, or a number of other reasons I might be inadequate.

 

I tried to initiate a conversation the other day and got ignored. I started thinking maybe he wasn't interested anymore, so after about a day of no response I gave him an out. I told him that we didn't have to keep talking if he wasn't interested anymore. I'd rather him just tell me that than ghost me. He responded and reassured me that he had just been busy. I voiced my anxieties and apologized for jumping to conclusions, and he said he had similar anxieties as well. We reassured eachother that we were both into one another and chatted a bit more.

 

Today I messaged him, once again trying to initiate a conversation and have since been ignored. I know we haven't been talking for long and he's probably busy, but I can't stop myself from overthinking it. The thing that worries me most is that I know he's active on the app we're chatting on, responding with long comments on posts. If he's busy why would he do that but not give me a reply, even a short one? 

 

He told me one thing, that he's into me, and then he acts like the complete opposite is true. It's really confusing me. Am I overreacting? Are my worries well founded? I'm nervous to message again or bring it up especially after he already reassured me yesterday. I don't want to come off as too clingy so soon.

[beanbean]

First of all you been talking for a couple of days so taking it slow is probably for the best.but the fact that it's already been hard to contact him a couple of times it might not be what you need especially if you have anxiety . Because it can be harrowing to wait and wait for a message for sure . I would talk to them and say you need consistent messages even if sometimes there very short and it's just explaining being busy.thats my two cents lil

[MissNMTX]

Solid advice here already.

Take time to learn about yourself first. You will be your own beat advocate moving forward. Best to invest the time now.

Ghosting is such a thing...I say, if it's going to happen just let it and move along. We are all busy. Everyone here should be an actual adult with grownup lives and responsibilities. Honestly, it takes so little time to send a message. If they aren't that says loads to me.

Yes, they could be waiting on you while you're waiting on them (I've been guilty of this before.) but that's easy to sort out, by saying what you need and want. So, it all ends with knowing yourself and advocating appropriately.

[babydollmira]

I’m glad you had good advice given to you! I had an odd encounter just recently where the DD was super kind, but then just completely unfriended me and disappeared. I don’t know if this is a common occurrence but I do like to take things slowly so I guess I don’t mind that nothing came of it!

[DashingDaddyDom]

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Edited August 21, 2024 by DashingDaddyDom

[MoJo]

Focus on what you can control. If it feels weird or you are not happy with the dynamic, move on. If he wants and enjoys talking to you, he will reach out and put the effort. Focus on actions, not words. 
 

take it easy and don’t rush..

have a good day!

[NR_Daddy]

Firstly, I'd like to say, and this can't be unique to me, that sometimes it's not possible to read and reply to messages without it affecting my work schedule.

I work as a mobile valeter/detailer, and often I'm either driving or operating noisy machinery and either don't hear my phone because of it, or can't read and respond because I'm driving. Then there are occasions when I'll turn up to a job and the car is very dirty and will take longer to do, putting my schedule behind. I'll often ignore my phone to get on with working and catching up on my schedule, or use it to just inform a customer I'm running late and get back on with the job in hand.

The thing that gets me about your predicament is that you say he is active on the app you're both on and responds to others with long replies. That would be a concern.