Becoming a better little

[Wolfah]

I’m looking for advice on the things I can do or say to become a better little for my Daddy. I’m still pretty new to the whole thing so I’d really just like any kind of advice on what others do to make sure their Daddy is also taken care of and feel validated?

[Little kaiya]

I would suggest that there really isn't anything such as a "better little". Different littles want and need different things as do different Caregivers. What one person may deem as important m, essential or better may be very different for someone else.

The same applies to ensuring your Caregiver feels taken care of and validated. Have an adult to adult conversation and speak to your Caregiver. Ask them what they want, what they need and what they prefer. They are the only person who can really tell you what they need.

[beanbean]

12 minutes ago, Little kaiya said:

I would suggest that there really isn't anything such as a "better little". Different littles want and need different things as do different Caregivers. What one person may deem as important m, essential or better may be very different for someone else.

The same applies to ensuring your Caregiver feels taken care of and validated. Have an adult to adult conversation and speak to your Caregiver. Ask them what they want, what they need and what they prefer. They are the only person who can really tell you what they need.

This for sure there is no magic beans or anything. Communication is the key talk it out and see what you both want and go from there

[DaddyDom3238]

Hi Wolfah, First and most importantly coming from an experienced Daddy like myself, the fact that you are asking and open to suggestions to be a better little for your Daddy is absolutely wonderful! I don't have a little right now and you just made me smile so good for you! There is no magic answer to that....as a Daddy we want to nurture, guide, protect and love our little. When I have a little like I most recently did for several years, I would always have a check in with her and I would ask what am I not doing that  you need to feel loved and secure. I would also love when she asked me what she could do to be a better little. Every dynamic is different and the needs of each little and Daddy are different. I would ask your Daddy specifically what he needs and wants. That communication is key. Again, wonderful question!

[CodeName: Trouble]

Hello!

Wonderful comments above!

Every little and every daddy is wonderfully unique, talking with your partner is the only way to ensure both of you are working towards mutual understanding and shared happiness.

To add something different to the discussion, here are a few things I like to keep in mind:

1. Love languages! Have a talk about what makes you feel the most seen, loved and appreciated - and find out what love languages your partner has so you know how to show them the same. Making an effort to provide the right 'brand' of affection can make a big difference  this can also help your partner feel heard and better understood. I like receiving snuggles and praise, so a partner trying to shower me with gifts may feel frustrated by my lack of enthusiasm towards those things. My default giving language is acts of service, so without communicating and knowing my partner needs something different i may just do extra chores instead of spending time with him, which is what he may really be craving. (IRL examples, but concepts can be applied to LDR as well)

2. Be honest - not just about the bad stuff! Daddies aren't mind readers, so if something they do makes you feel good and little and loved, TELL THEM! SHOW THEM! Don't be scared to absolutely fuss over how much you appreciate them (and remember their love language when you do this!)

3. Don't focus too much on the types of things you read in stories or see online, often that is just pure fantasy or the "highlight reel" of someone else's relationship. There are down times, but those shouldn't be times spent mourning missed DDLG related opportunities, spend those times deepening your bond and getting to know each other beyond the Daddy/Little. Behind every appreciated Daddy there should be an appreciated and celebrated human ❤️

4. Make room in your life for things he likes, too. Sometimes these dynamics can feel very little focused, but I like to challenge that. My daddy loves fishing, and I am so scared of fish lol. Still, I absolutely adore going fishing with him and seeing him excited and having him point things out to me. I happily encourage him to go out and have fun with friends even thou I'm a little lonely when he's gone, I watch movies he likes  even thou I think they are cringey early 2000 comedies that just didn't age well.... Not everything needs to accommodate me or the dynamic, because outside DDLG I still absolutely adore him and seeing him smile is always at the top of my priority list. 

Sorry for my rambling 🤗 and welcome to the forum!

 

[BrassyBabyGirl]

13 hours ago, beanbean said:

This for sure there is no magic beans or anything. Communication is the key talk it out and see what you both want and go from there

No magic beans cept for you beanbean :0) But I digress, I would say talk to your Daddy about it and be u. Being a better little would be being more authentically yourself in and out the dynamic. I just try to bring joy joy joy and when it is rough in and out the dynamic bring understanding.