Gender and clothing are hard

[Phoenix78]

It is so frustrating trying to figure out what gender I feel like sometimes. And I only really have clothes for the opposite one to what i normally feel like. Im so picky about what I like on me for the gender and so I only have like one shirt that works for it, since for some reason it decided to pick a color I dont like when I'm fem/other I didnt already have choices so Im having to look around without family being weird about it. 

[Little kaiya]

As someone who is genderfluid I completely feel the whole, clothes can be a pain thing. I used to travel frequently for work and needed to take two sets of work clothes, casual clothes, work out clothes, swimsuits and don't even get me started on shoes. Luckily my employer would cover the cost of the extra bags as they related to my gender identity which they respected.

I still have "discussions" with my Wife and Boyfriend over closet space as I have two complete full wardrobes of clothing, one as a man and one as a woman.

[Phoenix78]

On 4/23/2024 at 3:03 AM, GayKitten said:

Agreed with Kaiya, it is very tough to navigate! I’m trans femme but have been…..slowly coming to terms with basically having tomboy style, which is essentially how I dressed BEFORE I came out as a woman 😅

I’ve definitely felt trapped into only having a small set of clothes I feel comfortable both as myself AND around others in…..I can’t say I have any solutions to offer, but a lot of empathy and understanding!

I guess one thing I can say is that, even if you don’t feel like some clothes “match” or “fit” or “properly express” your gender sometimes, 

a) clothes have no gender, and there’s nothing wrong or invalidating about wearing (or even _embracing_) clothes that “mismatch” your gender! Currently I am dressing like I’m a Detroit metalhead in the 90s mixed with a Kingdom Hearts anime boy (guided by Danny Brown as my icon), and I am……basically dressing as un-femme as ever 😅 but I LOVE IT and feel SO RIGHT in these, and I never expected that baggy denim and athletic wear, denim jackets, DIY customized clothes, and Kingdom Hearts-sized hiking shoes……could all make me feel so RIGHT as…….whatever the hell type of girl I am ☺️ which kinda segues into my other rambly point, which is 

b) your feelings about your current clothing, and the clothing you aspire to wear, will naturally change over time! So I just want to offer some reassurance that you’re not stuck with only what you have now, and you can ALWAYS find another color that you love and you feel great in, and I hope lots of those find their way to you 🥰

Ok yeah I’m rambling, I just wanted to say I feel you, and have been in a similar spot, and have found there to be good things to be discovered on the other side 💖💖💖

out of curiosity, what kinda clothes do you WISH you could wear right now?? And what kinda stuff in different situations?? 🥰

Ideally I wish to wear more button downs but like with patterns in like (skulls probably) and colors i normally don't like (orange) unless I'm feeling a certain gender. But I also cant suddenly change the way i have dressed since I'm not out yet. Luckily I wear a ton of black and white cause I normally dont feel like any gender so I dont mind alot.

Edited April 29, 2024 by Phoenix78

[lilpincess]

On 4/23/2024 at 4:03 AM, GayKitten said:

Agreed with Kaiya, it is very tough to navigate! I’m trans femme but have been…..slowly coming to terms with basically having tomboy style, which is essentially how I dressed BEFORE I came out as a woman 😅

I’ve definitely felt trapped into only having a small set of clothes I feel comfortable both as myself AND around others in…..I can’t say I have any solutions to offer, but a lot of empathy and understanding!

I guess one thing I can say is that, even if you don’t feel like some clothes “match” or “fit” or “properly express” your gender sometimes, 

a) clothes have no gender, and there’s nothing wrong or invalidating about wearing (or even _embracing_) clothes that “mismatch” your gender! Currently I am dressing like I’m a Detroit metalhead in the 90s mixed with a Kingdom Hearts anime boy (guided by Danny Brown as my icon), and I am……basically dressing as un-femme as ever 😅 but I LOVE IT and feel SO RIGHT in these, and I never expected that baggy denim and athletic wear, denim jackets, DIY customized clothes, and Kingdom Hearts-sized hiking shoes……could all make me feel so RIGHT as…….whatever the hell type of girl I am ☺️ which kinda segues into my other rambly point, which is 

b) your feelings about your current clothing, and the clothing you aspire to wear, will naturally change over time! So I just want to offer some reassurance that you’re not stuck with only what you have now, and you can ALWAYS find another color that you love and you feel great in, and I hope lots of those find their way to you 🥰

Ok yeah I’m rambling, I just wanted to say I feel you, and have been in a similar spot, and have found there to be good things to be discovered on the other side 💖💖💖

out of curiosity, what kinda clothes do you WISH you could wear right now?? And what kinda stuff in different situations?? 🥰

Love your description of your look! Especially the kingdom hearts aspect