Sometimes I feel I don't get on well with adults

[Lolitadisney]

Hi!

I want to tell my experiences. I've started to work recently. It's been a great experience for me because I'm learning new thing, I'm meeting new people. It's interesting. 

2 jobs (exam invigilator and administrative assistant) were fine. No problem. Nice people, easy jobs. 

The thing is, I'm also an English teacher. I'm teaching at a... very strict school (I don't want to enter into details because they are very... conservative, narrow-minded and special. They have strict rules regarding to "morality" and so). 

I have a non specified language disorder. I mean, it's not something very noticeable but I don't distinguish between sarcasm and irony. I don't understand certain social rules (I have to ask things related to social interaction that are too obvious for a neurotypical person). It's very difficult for me to realize if people are kidding me or not. 

Most part of the time, this is not a problem. Actually, my anxiety issues may be a problem but this language disorder makes me seem a bit weird and childish but it doesn't stop me from living a normal life.

The point is, my boss and my workmates mock me for my language disorder. They say ugly/mean things to me such as: I don't understand social rules, I'm not mature enough to have a job, I'm not an ethical person, my intelligence is lower than the rest of the people, my parents didn't give me an appropriate education... 

Every time I ask them to stop making those bad intended puns to me they say I'm exaggerating and I have to respect them because they are older than me. The thing is my friends say they are the ones who are rude, too narrow-minded (they consider I'm suffering from bullying at job because it's not fair to be mean to someone only due to neurodivergence).

They want to fire me because I'm too childish for this job. I'm sad because I love teaching and I get on very well with my students. But they don't like that. They say my pupils are kidding me and they say nice things to me only because they think I'm pretty. I'm not sure if this is right. 

Actually, I'm happy surrounded by my students. I don't want to lose my job because it's very close to my home but I've just accepted it. I mean, I'm furious and sad because I think teachers should be a role model for their students, not bullies as my workmates. 

Besides, I'm angry because my workmates say that I'm too close to the students (they even accused me of dating my students and it's not true. I've just told them we can't meet after class due to the rules). The thing is I'm only one year older than most part of my students so I think it's normal that they see me more as a friend than  as a teacher. But they respect me, that's what matters to me.

Seriously, how do you deal with narrow-minded people? 

I don't know if there are neurodivergent people on this community (I'm sure some of you are neurodivergent) but it's so frustrating when people don't take you seriously and mock you just because you were born this way. It's so exhausting to be surrounded by mean neurotypical people...

[lillizzie24]

I have been judged my whole life so I understood what you are saying. Im socially awkward so people always look down at me. Coworkers yes but never a boss. To me that is unacceptable a workplace should never be a place that you are bullied. You should be able to go to your boss and not feel you are judged.  i would go to the superintendent or someone higher then your boss to explain whats happening to you and about the difficulties that you have.  

[MentorDaddy]

Hey Lolitadisney, I don't have a specific answer on how to deal with narrow-minded people. Just wanted to say, it's not about you, and as a fellow neurodivergent human being, sending you lots of strength. I hope despite these folks, you can be proud of who you are, and that you have or will find a caregiver who's also proud. Take care! 🌟 Keep shining! 😊

[beanbean]

I would deal with it with a letter to your boss telling them your uncomfortable with and that you asked them to stop and it makes you really uncomfortable and its insulting as much as you like your job they still have no right especially after you asked them to stop

[Little kaiya]

This isn't about them being mean. What you have described is clear cut workplace discrimination and harrassment which is illegal. Threats if termination on the grounds you have stated is, in most countries, discrimination and illegal grounds for termination. If you're unionized I'd be seeking representation. If you aren't unionized I'd be seeking a lawyer.

[Juju]

2 hours ago, Lolitadisney said:

I don't know if there are neurodivergent people on this community (I'm sure some of you are neurodivergent) but it's so frustrating when people don't take you seriously and mock you just because you were born this way. It's so exhausting to be surrounded by mean neurotypical people...

I'm Nero-divergent. I was born with autism, and also have PTSD,ADHD, Epilepsy. I suffer from depression, anxiety and I'm agoraphobic. And i have never once been treated the way you have. 

It doesn't matter if you're Nero-divergent or not. What they've said and done are just wrong, not to mention discrimination and prejudice against someone different then themselves. Our differences as individuals is what makes each one of us unique in our own way. Regardless of what those differences are! 

You need to tell someone with authority and ask for help.

I'm sorry you've had to go thru this. 

[DaddysMonkey]

5 hours ago, Little kaiya said:

This isn't about them being mean. What you have described is clear cut workplace discrimination and harrassment which is illegal. Threats if termination on the grounds you have stated is, in most countries, discrimination and illegal grounds for termination. If you're unionized I'd be seeking representation. If you aren't unionized I'd be seeking a lawyer.

Took the words right out of my mouth. 
*golf clap* 

[LittleOceans]

I'm neurodivergent. Recently diagnosed with autism. I have been different my whole life. I have been unable to form lasting connections outside of family bonds. I am unable to discern the proper forms of communication. I have no filter. I am incapable of forethought. I am unable to perceive others' moods or reactions. I have no clue when I say something offensive or rude. I am highly argumentative. 

The list is endless really, my point is none of that is grounds for being mistreated. I believe that you are being mistreated. 

12 hours ago, Little kaiya said:

This isn't about them being mean. What you have described is clear cut workplace discrimination and harrassment which is illegal. Threats if termination on the grounds you have stated is, in most countries, discrimination and illegal grounds for termination. If you're unionized I'd be seeking representation. If you aren't unionized I'd be seeking a lawyer.

This is correct. I regret that you have had to experience this. There are other opportunities and I hope you are kind to yourself and choose you. I hear you when you say you love the kids, but you matter, too. At some point, you will have to make a decision. 

My momma loves to tell me, “ No decision, is just a decision without your input in it. Would you rather exist or live?” I always get mad at her because she is right and I don't want it. 

I am sorry. 

Bye bye,

Oceans