Bunny’s place to brain dump <3

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Day 6 and I have fallen out of love. Kinda bitter sweet to be honest. Had an amazingly productive conversation with the mortgage man today good thing, good things. At least where it counts long term I’ve surrounded my self with strong reliable people that can help and guide me to obtain and achieve my goals. Ive gotten a lot done in the last 6 days. 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

I try to learn and grow from everything, Every bad relationship has set standards, expectations, and boundaries for the next.  I don’t think I like what I learned from this one but, lesson learned. 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Once again awake entirely too early lol 😂 I just want to garden and bake bread and wander barefoot through the grass with fresh eggs everyday. I don’t have extravagant dreams I want a cottage in the woods with chickens and possibly an angora goat one day if I decide to learners to spin yarn. 🥰 I rarely wear them but I love sundresses and sandals and getting my hands in the dirt. I want to be able to wander and breathe on warm sunny days and forage berries and mushrooms. I just want that life.

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

I survived Friday ❤️ It’s the craziest day of the week at work lol I love my job but Fridays are exhausting. So I changed into some comfy clothes and am just being a Po-tay-toe. Maybe I’ll do a craft I haven’t done one of those in a while. I have a really hard relaxing and doing things I enjoy, I always feel obligated to be doing something. I was hoping it would be warmer this weekend again but it’s supposed to be kinda chilly I’m thinking maybe Sunday is the good day to go to the park. I have no idea about what to do tomorrow yet. 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Yawns ***** time for bed….. I feel I need significantly more stuffies lol but I is the sleepies. Tomorrow is a new day I get to sleep in but I probably will be up early because that’s. Just how it works. I need figure out what I want to eat next week so I can go shopping. I never really know what I want I always just end up winging it with what looks good on sale lmao budget bunny.

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Well today is the day we go back and delete all the dating photos. Good memories though *sigh*  

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Ooof it has been done. We did a lot of fun stuffs though. 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Making breakfast making, making, breakfast 🍳 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Yummy breakfast buuurrriiitttooooo<3 

[beanbean]

Yay for breakfast burritos 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Yassss ham egg n cheese yummy yummy ❤️ 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Today has been such a good day. Went grocery shopping than spent 3 hours at the park. We went to the big park that’s a little farther away. I finally did a chin up!! I did so many random single reps while where at the park. Every time my kiddo and I passed the bars I was like yep gotta try again   Now we’re home relaxing having croissants and ham. One of the nurses at work gave me their left over honey baked ham because they were all hammed out lol I’m going to make split pea soup with the bone tomorrow. I think I’m going to do a fake tan tonight I got one that actually looks pretty good on me, lol my boss has no qualms about making fun of people and it passed the test last time lmao I thought he was going to roast me but it apparently was perfect because he didn’t say anything and some of the girls at work hunted me down to find out which one I used. I just want to feel attractive I guess. I normally don’t all the extras like fancy hair and makeup and nails. Normally just throw in a hair bow and go.

Edited April 6, 2024 by xolilbunnyprincessxo
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[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Hmm I should go to bed. So I mad a Fetlife account to see what the community was like over there and … they might be a bit too much for me. I literally joined and just did a quick browse in the forums but I feel like it’s a bit more seggsual over there to be highly modest in wording. I like the relationship aspect of things not so much into hook up culture. Might delete it 🤣 I feel like I just stumbled upon something a lil too intense. Curiosity shocks the lil bunnies. 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Good mornings,
OMG LMAO that was so not my vibe last night 😅 No shame to anyone who it is but high key not my vibe. Just a lil bunny wandering into a side of the internet not meant for her. I say this all light heartedly because I am well aware of the reactions people have to my preferences but for me it’s not really a kink, more of just the way I am. There is a sexual aspect to it but that’s not focus, I like the type of bond and relationship that comes from having a partner that takes on a daddy/caregiver role. I need to feel special, wanted, taken care of. I don’t like asking men to do things so I need a partner who naturally wants to and just does things. Like I can have the conversation about things I like but when it doesn’t happen or I have to ask for it, immediately I think they don’t like it or I don’t want to bother them asking for them to do something for me. That is a bit of a me issue but I grew up with a lot of forced independence and the idea that I should be able to do everything for myself it’s really hard for me to ask for help or delegate things or request something I like because inside I feel like it’s wrong most of the time.  Which is ironic because at my core I just want to be loved and taken care of even though I still am very much on the outside “I’ll do it all myself”. I’m resilient and independent but I’d like to be able to come home and not have to be.  Maybe there isn’t someone out there for me, I know what I want is asking a lot from someone. I want to be adored and spoiled, I want to feel safe and look up to my partner, I want someone who knows how to nurture and protect the lil side of me (my lifestyle isn’t a new accessory you go telling everyone you know about because it’s new and exciting to you, because for me that’s violating and embarrassing), I want to love someone and be proud of them, I want to trust and be happy, I want to be able to sit in their lap and lay on top of them with my head on their chest just enjoying the feeling of closeness, I want to be comfortable, I want someone to go wander and stuff outside with, I’m want someone who can help balance my “uptightness” lol, I want someone who wants a family because that’s what I have to offer. I can’t have anymore kids but I have my youngest that lives with me and my eldest who’s grown up in FL. So I’m not the fun single female who can just do whatever. I don’t deny that my lil side was born from a life of unfortunate events but my big side was born from coping, learning, working my way past all of it. 
…….. well this went in an unexpected direction 😳

ANNNYYYYwho

My fake tan came out really nice I’m happy with it. It’s supposed to be a little warmer today so I’m thinking maybe go back to the park get smoothies. I’m kind of hungry, no idea what I want for breakfast. Lol I’m just a lost lonely bunny always have been one day I won’t feel that way anymore but until then “Just keep swimming” I do hard things alone for myself at least I can be proud of that. 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Rwar. I’m still super psyched about the chin ups though!!!! 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

OOf still coming across car pictures I thought I got them all, lol so many pictures of his hand on my thigh, I liked that part of riding around while he drove places. I don’t think he knew I almost always took pictures of that. I might go get myself something small today like a stuffit or a sweatshirt. Target has some super cute hello kitty ones that are all oversized and comfy looking, they’re like 25$ which is crazy but they are cute. I probably won’t but I might lol. 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Yup deleted the fetlife account. Blushes 😳 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

I‘m sad inside. I’m trying really hard not to be. I wish I had friends. I’ve lived here almost a year with no family no friends outside of work acquaintances. I love my job I moved a long way just for it but it’s just hard sometimes. Especially when things don’t work out I don’t have anyone to really talk to. Hell that’s why I’m spending so much time online it’s at least the illusion of social connection. I just don’t get it, I’m smart, I’m kind, but no one ever seems to like me even enough just be real friends. 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Rawr I’m good as long as I’m busy 😅 when I slow down and have nothing to do my brain is not very nice to me. Hoping Amazon delivers my book that seem to have lost, I really wanted that book but at least they’ll refund it on the 11th if it doesn’t show up the day before. Not a cheap book lol. Looking forward to work than probably off to the park after with the kiddo for a bit before dinner. 

[beanbean]

Keep busy then ☺️

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Im trying ☺️☺️☺️

My realtor just texted he has a phone conference with my mortgage guy today 😊 Hopefully tonight he‘ll tell me we get to start looking at houses he already asked about what days are better for me to be available 🙂

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

Today was a good day at work  I’m glad I love my job because that’s pretty much my life at this point. At least when I put effort in there I get recognized and rewarded. My book came in today!!!! I was so worried it was lost in the mail after all the shipping delays. I’m in procedures tomorrow my favorite days ❤️ Overall not a bad day. I like that it’s warm enough now to go to the park at the end of the day to walk outside while the munchkin plays. 

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

You know at its core we all just want to love and be loved. It’s just finding that someone that compliments your needs and ability to give that’s the hard part, we’re all so different. Truthfully I’m probably going to be alone for quite awhile and I need to get used to that.  I don’t like it but I’m not easy to get along with and I need so much when I’m able to offer so little in return. I’m an amazing person, I’m driven, intelligent, pretty, self sufficient, and kind but I’m also an abandoned and hurt little girl on the inside that gets sad and angry quickly and needs to be constantly reassured and emotionally cared for. I’m just tired of being hurt because for me it’s a lot, I feel a lot it takes forever for me to work and go through those feelings so they don’t effect me anymore and I just don’t like it . I don’t get into relationships to break up my flaw is I will try and make it work for almost ever my 9 year relationship was done after 5 but I tried for 4 years to make it work by being supportive and encouraging but when a man gives up, they give up. One day someone is going to meet me and love me as I am, at least I hope but until than I’m here making my own dreams happen trying my best to be happy.  

[xolilbunnyprincessxo]

I know blah blah blah but better out than in  Today should be another good day ❤️ going to dig into my new book a little. Hoping the rain stops this afternoon but who knows lol.

[beanbean]

Lol woke up to rain too but that's okay enjoy yer book