How to talk to someone about the DDLG for the first time ?

[Suzette]

Hi

How would you approach DDLG with someone you've become romantically close to, but you're not sure if they will like it ? How would you like the thing to be brought to you ? He seems open-minded, but for the moment, I don't dare too much, because I'm ashamed of these desires.

I'm sorry if my English isn't good !  

 

PS :  I'm a little and I see I'm in the wrong chan, but doesn't matter.

Edited March 28, 2024 by Suzette

[Cebakes]

Does he have daddy or caregiver traits?  Would this be natural, forced or hard  for him?   Has  he seen your little side and does he like it?  

[Suzette]

6 hours ago, Cebakes said:

Does he have daddy or caregiver traits?  Would this be natural, forced or hard  for him?   Has  he seen your little side and does he like it?  

I don't know him complety yet, but yes, he seems to have ! He listen very weel and likes to help when it's possible. He likes to protect too. He is a police officer (but also very intellectuel) Otherwise we had a little discussion about sex last night, and he likes to dominate. But I havn't talked about DDLG yet, however if our reltionship developps positively, I think it will be possible ! And let everyone enjoy it

Edited March 29, 2024 by Suzette

[beanbean]

I would be direct but that me and I realize not everyone can/should do that you can always just ask him if and what kinks he is into for sure

[Onasunbeam]

I suggest isolating what it is about ddlg that you need, and being specific about it when you bring it up. For example, if you tell him that you enjoy using a paci occasionally, or that you would like to be bathed, make sure you chase it all with "because doing [X] makes me feel [Y], and that gives me comfort and makes life easier when I'm not in littlespace" or something to that effect. Similarly, you can be specific about what benefits you think there are for him in having this type of relationship. For example, "I have a deep need to be obedient when I'm in littlespace, and I think with the right level of trust, since you like to be dominant it could help you satiate those needs as well."

I think for people who haven't been exposed to the community or lifestyle its really helpful to contextualize it in what positives it brings to your life and to the relationship. 

[Edit] Just to add that you should also be prepared for the potential that he is not interested no matter how you phrase or explain it. In that case, his limits should be respected and potentially you aren't compatible as people. 

Edited April 25, 2024 by Onasunbeam

[Little kaiya]

I've worked with many law enforcement officers in my professional capacity and framing it like they will see DDlg as something wrong is really painting LEOs in an unfair light and honestly instilling unnecessary fear in people because of their profession.

Edited April 25, 2024 by Little kaiya

[DaddysMonkey]

Not all cops are bad , mmmmkay ? 

[Barney048]

Being a little/sub is generally a big part of who you are. I would mention that way before things get to the romantic level. You want to be accepted wholly before things get too serious.

That being said, people often hide a part of them, which they are insecure about. So first I'd work on accepting that part of you. Whether it is by seeing a therapist, by talking about these things with people around you or joining a local community for support and guidance. 

[MisterMomo]

Bonjour!

 

For moderating reasons, I believe we have to speak english ... Mais bon matin!

 

I guess it would change depending how little you are .. Mommy said she knew I was little just by talking to me. Still I've been clumsy before when talking about diapers and stuff, trying to talk about it when it wasn't time. 

 

I would not rush into talking about DDlg dynamic. I guess you can act Little in some part with him. Choose your frilly socks or a unicorn shirt..  childish accessories ..  Disney bag ..  open a door for him to care for you or think you are cute.  If he likes the cute Little side it's already a good sign .. If he walks, it wasn't the right one.   Talk about activities you like and link it to how it make you feel small, connected with "l'enfant en toi".  

I once asked a girl "what's your favorite game" and she treated me like I was a total lunatic, saying we were adults and games are for kids. lol .. Didn't need to talk more with this one. 

If you are in Paris, you can visit Disney, talk about how you can feel small there and really like it...   ask him if he already visited  Le Zéro de Conduite (drinks are in served in Baby Bottles in the 18th)  ou le Refuge des Fondus dans Montmartre (same concept), Etc. !  Forget your mittens in november when visiting the Marcher de Noel and ask him to buy you a Warmie (warm stuffed animal) to keep your hands warm. I did that with Mommy and I do remember spending an hour walking around with my warm teddy bear .. very good souvenir. REstaurant with babybottles was also very festive.

I never spoke about "being Little" with my family and they gave me stuffies for christmass or even a footed pajama. If its who you are, he'll figure it out by learning to know you. If you share your interest you'll see if he likes that side of you. You can also talk about sex and let him know you like men with a dom side ..  If mommy buys me a sex toy, It will naturally be themed for me ..  not plain grown up version. I'd get to know the guy and let him know you... then see where it goes. If he sees your Little side, knows you like dom, DDlg conversation will be natural when time comes.    

I say that and when dating before mommy, I also tried to be open about it, saying stuff in my dating profile about it. I had great dates, some weird ones. It worked better with mommy. 

[Suzette]

Thank you for your advice! Indeed, I can already tap the ground and subtly bring it. He liked to wipe me after the bath and help me put on my pajamas. Otherwise, we are no longer together because I did not like him physically enough and I know that in the long term it would have been a problem for me. This may sound superficial, but I really want to meet the right person that I would be in love with. What attracted me to him was his voice and our compatibility, but in the end I wasn’t in love.

Edited September 11, 2024 by Suzette