Questions from a little to daddy doms/ caregivers

[Guest Little_sunshine]

Hello, I’m a little who got ghosted recently and who is trying to heal :))

To avoid this happening to me again i have a two questions for the daddies/ caregivers here and thought i can ask them here :

 

-What are some red flags i should be aware of in daddy doms? 

 

-How can i find an actual daddy dom outside of the internet ? Is there signs? ( I’m scared of liking someone new but them being disgusted when they find out about my little space, and i can’t be in a relationship where my little space is ignored)

Thank you ☺️ 

[beanbean]

1 hour ago, Little_sunshine said:

Hello, I’m a little who got ghosted recently and who is trying to heal :))

To avoid this happening to me again i have a two questions for the daddies/ caregivers here and thought i can ask them here :

 

-What are some red flags i should be aware of in daddy doms? 

 

-How can i find an actual daddy dom outside of the internet ? Is there signs? ( I’m scared of liking someone new but them being disgusted when they find out about my little space, and i can’t be in a relationship where my little space is ignored)

Thank you ☺️ 

I don't know if there i a foolproof way not too get ghosted I would suggest just taking plenty of time just getting to Know someone taking it slow asking lots of questions Abt there domming style so you're sure it's for you just lot of patient's 

 

[Kittyara207]

But the forum has a few areas about red flags.  And what to look for as well. But taking your time is the best thing.

[pawpaw]

Lack of open honest 2 way communication is a huge red flag.

If there are times or days where it is one sided (or not allowed at all) you can bet on it being a game of some kind.

Check out the list / thread of red flags, lots of good info there.

[PrimalScream67]

If you'd like to DM me so we can't have a discussion I may be able to give you some advice unique to your particular situation and needs. I know of several good locations on line where you can study things concerning the ddlg lifestyle, proper etiquette, the realistic positive expectations of both littlest and daddies, red and green flags, etc. It seems like you may never have had an actual daddy more than it seems like you've experienced people who thought they knew the lifestyle after watching a few porn videos from that genre and that's why it's turned out badly for you in the past. I want to make it clear here that I'm not vying to take that place in your life rather I'm simply expressing an offer to help you in whatever way I can in a safe and private way so that we don't have to discuss all of this in the comments, as I'm sure there will be things I'll ask you that you may not want your answers to be made fodder for the posers to twist around on you. 

Just let me know. I check this forum every few days. 

[Guest Sadler]

I’m sorry this happened to you. I wasn’t ghosted, but it still hurts. There’s no easy way to deal with it. But, you were okay before, and you’ll get to that place again. Best thing to do is make new friends. Red flags though, are when he can only call you on his time. 

[chris23102310]

First of all I am sorry that you have been ghosted. Thats horrible and sadly most of us online have experiences with that...

My advice would be start with being friends and do not rush into things. 

Even when agreed on starting a relationship start slow. 

Having one side communication or not being allowed to initiate chatting or talking is a big red flag. 

Not hearing a day from your partner can happen, but should not be the norm. 

 

Sadly I do not have an advice for the offline topic. Just recently found by accident a good friend of mine for years is in the ddlg community too without both of us seeing or recognizing it. (She being a little and myself being a daddydom) 

So you cant "smell" what stuff someone is into. 

I hope you get better soon and my advice will help for the future

[seriphin2099]

I would say demanding nudes/lewds before you're ready to do that for your new daddy/dom. I work under the pretext that I want selfies of my little daily but SFW ones until they want to send me a naughty one of their own volition. I will never demand or require one. I want that to be a gift they send me to let me know they are ready for the next level.

Also degrading you without your consent. talk with your new dom/daddy first off before you commit. Set rules and boundaries. what are your limits and make him abide by them. in this life the little has control on who they want to submit to, not the other way around. Have your submission be the prize for your dom/daddy make him earn it by following the rules set forth between you two ahead of time. If he won't set boundaries ahead of time RED FLAG.

As part of your rules I would set a rule that if it's going to be a day or so without contact, to let you know in advance. Coma or Dead are like the only excuse for not following this rule.

Questions, LOTS and LOTS of questions. If they don't want to answer them to your expectations or not at all, RED Flag

[gracie may]

i have a question that’s complicated and i don’t know if anyone can answer. i got in here to help my fiancé and I dive into this. its really important to me being a little and he knows that. he wanted to me learn from being on here, but he isn’t doing anything to learn. 

ive done all of the steps, ive explained what it means to me and how it helps me i explained ive been this way my whole life. i explained its important to have a daddy in my life and how i need it. i dont wanna ever pressure someone into something but he hasn’t tried to learn or do anything at all yet. 

what do i do? how can i help him? i know this man loves me more than anyone ever as well. so it’s just confusing 

[Little kaiya]

It isn't always about love unfortunately. He may just not be into DDlg and that may never change. Asking that a partner accept this part is reasonable and something that, personally, I think is a reasonable expectation of someone that loves you. Asking them to participate isn't always something a partner is willing to or can do.

Imagine your partner revealed a kink or an interest to you that you that is a hard limit. Probably you could accept their interest but may not want to see, hear or participate. Now imagine they expected or demanded you participate, you would probably be pretty upset.

I'm not saying this is automatically the case but if at this point he isn't making any effort you may find it just isn't his thing. That wouldn't mean he doesn't love you. Loving someone and participating in something with them are very, very different.

[DaddyDom3238]

Hi Little Sunshine, 

First off I am very sorry this happened to you, unfortunately it is very common upon meeting online whether it is a DDLG relationship or a vanilla relationship. It is easy to ghost online for people, and it has happened to me several times as well. It is not only something that happens to littles although I understand how painful it can be. 

I would say that one of the biggest red flags is being sexual quickly, using pet names, demanding submission. Things like that, it should really just be a conversation at first to get to know each other, find out what both of you are looking for, expectations, limits etc. Ideally, trust your gut, if something doesn't feel right...ask about it. If the "potential Daddy" will not address your concerns just walk away. 

As far as meeting a Daddy/Dom offline, I cannot give you advice on that one lol. I met my last little at a party I was at and we were together for several years but I approached her based upon her attire and behavior, just kind of felt her out. Most I have met have been online and then we met in person by visiting or if they lived local. I wish you the best and please feel free to reach out if you have any questions.  

[gracie may]

thank u everyone who responded! I mean it yall are so sweet!

[gracie may]

what things do daddies do for littles?:)

[Little kaiya]

Depends on the couple. My Daddy will give me cuddles and snuggles, baths, set rules, make me meals, encourage good behavior, buy me stuffies, watch over me while I play, change me, dress me and so much more. All depends on the day, how I feel, how He feels and a lot of other factors.

[VSoftDaddyDomV]

Ghosting has become a thing in recent years because of the amount of options available and the attitudes of society. When I was a boy it was a rather rare experience to be ghosted on the Net but it would happen but more it would just be non-communication or people would wake up in the middle of a conversation and go, "Ought oh, this is not what I signed for or it's more than I can cope with!" Now it's far easier for people in the "next," "cancelled," generations to basically use you and move on. 

Unfortunately you're stuck doing what everyone else does gauging the interest of a person by the time they put in. I wouldn't hold back and I'd go full throttle with several individuals. It's impossible to be cautious and shy if you want to get anywhere, it just takes more time getting from point A to point B. You are forced to be ghosted and accept it as every day life. Just let it roll off your back like raindrops. A person that sticks actually is interested in the long term. And that's usually easy to tell in a month or two. 

 

P.S. Do not make elaborate plans with someone you haven't met and spent time with and known well. It's really dooming you to failure. Even better yet ... after you've spent a lot of quality time with in real life. Outline a basic plan, draw them when meeting and let them develop upon their own when together for awhile. As that's the natural progression of things. But don't wait around for it to happen as it never does despite people telling you different. Life happens to you when you work at it. 

Edited May 7, 2024 by VSoftDaddyDomV

[MoJo]

Sorry you had to experience ghosting

keep in mind, it’s not you. 

[Guest Gentleman_Daddy]

On 5/2/2024 at 3:53 AM, gracie may said:

what things do daddies do for littles?:)

Everything from Pick up the pieces to write her poetry to giggle at her kicking out her legs, it just depends what she needs:)

Edited June 10, 2024 by cd108

[NR_Daddy]

It's always tough when something turns out to be the opposite of what you thought it was.

You have to take it as dodging a bullet, and think about how much better it was to find out now, rather than further down the line when it would have been worse if you'd been more invested in that person.

Some people can put an act on and hold it well for a time, but then the cracks start appearing and maybe some inconsistencies in their demeanour start appearing. Those are the warning signs to look for that something might not be what it appears to be.

[VirgoDaddy]

What are some red flags i should be aware of in daddy doms? 

• It's really hard to say because each daddy is different but I'd pay attention to changes in attitude with no explanation or decreases in the amount of time spent with you (whether online or irl). Things can obviously be going on in a daddy's life that can cause those changes, but hopefully he would communicate it to you so his little wouldn't worry

 

How can i find an actual daddy dom outside of the internet ? Is there signs?

• This one is even harder I feel. Generally, it's really hard to tell if you meet someone IRL, and know if they're a daddy dom without talking about it. That said, communication is #1 and while you may not be able to tell right away, you can gently ask about it, maybe as part of a kink conversation.

 

I wish I could help more, these are good questions.