My daddy dom ghosted me and I’m feeling completely depressed

[Cebakes]

On 3/13/2024 at 6:30 AM, PrimalScream67 said:

I just joined but as a former "daddy" and "caregiver", I'd like to say I'm sorry you're going thru this. My personal experience is a bit similar only it was her that was the one who quit on our relationship. We'd known each other since 2013 and we were together until 2019 even got married in late 2018. But she had numerous mental health issues as well as childhood trauma and a drug addiction. To say our relationship was rocky would not come close to the truth of the matter. Towards the end her drug addiction and mental health issues turned her into someone I didn't even recognise anymore and I found that no matter what I tried I could no longer find a way to help her .or us any longer. Then one morning several months after we'd married I came home from work early intentionally because I'd suspected she was having people in our home and that they were more than just friends, they were the one supplying her with the drugs and she was sleeping with them. I confronted her and basically told her either she agreed to check back into the local mental health centre and stay there until she was clean and got the help she needed in several areas or we needed to seperate until she did so. I went to work the following night and was called out by my supervisor because members of law enforcement wanted to speak to me. They were there to serve me with a notice to show up in court the next morning for a restraining order hearing with a judge who after I appeared ordered me to leave my own home for 30 days. Long story short, she ended up stealing everything in the house, cleaning out my bank account and leaving the state. 

To this day in still very much in love with her despite all this. It's been going on 5 yrs now and I can't go a moment of the day without feeling the grief if loosing her, and the pain of what I feel is my failure to take care of her as I promised and worked so hard to do from the first time we met. Five yrs and I haven't tried to see anyone else, I've gotten to where I only eat when my stomach starts to hurt from going hungry for days at a time, I can't sleep so I stay awake until my body forces me to finally fall out, and I've not been able to hold down a job (thankfully I'm on SSI so I've at least got money for rent and utilities) and I'm barely getting by financially. 

I don't know what advice to give you. I wish I could tell you that the pain if the loss gets better with time, but at least in my case it hasn't seemed to. I've thought about trying to meet someone else in this lifestyle but it's not as easy as some might think, so I sit at home alone with my cats, listen to music and watch movies and spend countless hours online surfing through meaningless crap until my eye hurt, wishing I could meet someone to help me forget her and move on. I'm 56 yrs old now and she just turned 29 this past summer... And I miss her with all my heart. 

Feel free to reply if you'd like. Maybe we could find some answers.

 

I empathize with you and feel your pain.  I lost my wife to mental illness, drugs, meds, etc.  We had only known each other for two months when  we got pregnant.  She was  tall, very pretty, athletic, and raising a 1.5 year old boy on her own.   We got married, had our baby, I adopted my son, and ended up having two more children.

Long story short,  shortly after getting married, I could see that she had issues and those issues only became worse.  We were married for 15 years when I divorced her and got full custody of my four kids ages 7-12.  To her credit, she was rational enough to know this was best. 

I don’t regret meeting her and getting married,.  I have four great kids who are all doing well in life.  We all tried to help her but in the end, even with over a half dozen intreatment  stays,  couldn’t beat it and passed away at age 48.  She literally had it all and lost it all. 
 

One of my boys is 33 and an officer and equity owner of a large private equity backed behavioral health company.  He became addicted to Percocet and OxyContin after blowing his knee out in a lacrosse game in college and also losing  his girlfriend.  I enabled him for a year before telling him he had to withdrawal from college and get intreatment or I was “kicking him out of the house”.  
 

He completed intreatment, moved into a recovery house, went to treatment, meetings, worked part time, went back to college, the treatment center hired him, he graduated college, has worked for three large behavioral health companies, engaged,  and is ten years sober.   

You  can beat drugs, but it isn’t easy.   He always says, “you have no control over the addict,  they need to want to do it”. 

 

Edited April 17, 2024 by Cebakes