Coping With Aging

[MikalX]

Tonight I noticed that my stretch marks where my calves, are getting worse, I couldn’t tell if they were wrinkles or stretch marks at first. I’m noticing other subtle but steady changes in my face, around my eyes and the lower part of my face that is my jaws. Issue is, I can’t tell if it’s due to me aging up, bad diet or the medication I was put under for long term. I have always enjoyed looking younger than I’m and being child like, I related it to genes, I’m from a particular known to be non-aging ethnic group, but I’m also somewhat deemed to be having an androgynous look and other intersex traits. Being mistaken for a young teen is the most compelling compliment a child could ever give me and I have been receiving that from very young and children older enough to decide someone’s age. Children acknowledging me as looking/being young and someone they can relate to/with boosts my self-esteem. I can’t stress how much it makes my day when children notice my existence wether in schools, parties, festivals or playgrounds.

Despite feeling comfortable around children, I tend to struggle socially in an area populated with them, it’s because there are many of them, all that I would like to fend and care for what they have to say. It’s especially the case if I knew or sensed they’re a bully and they and their parents would look at me weirdly if I wanted to have fun with them. In this situation I wouldn’t know the best way to react and would just avoid the awkwardness altogether, I’m thankful that this doesn’t happen very often as I develop strong bond with the child before I consider introducing myself to their parents. There are exceptions to this when I’m just sat on a bench in a playground and children signal to me to join in, or when I’m invited to a birthday party where the center of attention is a child.

A cashier made my day few months ago when she thought I was 16 years old. She asked for my mother phone for subscription. At first, I was confused why is she asking for my moms phone number and thought maybe she heard me saying I don’t have a phone number? I said I don’t have subscription for what she’s offering. But my doubts were cleared out when I told her that I do have a number and it isn’t my mom’s, she chuckled and told me she thought I was 16 or 17. I was relieved, because I have noticed myself aging lately, gaining weight at a faster rate (indication of my previous faster metabolism being slowed down) and people keep asking me if I’m married, which has always been a trigger for my age dysphoria. 

I forgot to mention that my age dysphoria was extreme when I hit puberty, it felt like the end of childhood and innocence. Since then, I tried to conceal my real age and would always put my age a couple years younger than I’m. After a certain traumatic experience, I shut down from what seemed to my mind the most significant and what makes my insecurities boil. I no longer cared about being perceived as a child, I no longer wished to have a hormone growth disorder (I would pray to God I get diagnosed with the disorder and would think to myself how lucky these people are).

 

Now after years of being nonchalant about wanting to stay a child forever, it has struck me again, and I’m getting very conscious about it. I believe the trauma only pushed it to the back of my head, it was a mere temporary blockout. I have considered stem cells to regenerate what medications and bad diet have damaged. I want to feel like a child health and appearance wise.

I’m afraid it will come the day a child will look at me as an outsider.

Edited March 4, 2024 by MikalX
Wording mistake

[Guest ErickWcurls]

Mineral based sunblock for face.   Sunblock when you go out. Good diet.low carb no sugar   Moisturize.

 

And genetics. 

[MikalX]

On 3/7/2024 at 7:52 AM, ErickWcurls said:

Mineral based sunblock for face.   Sunblock when you go out. Good diet.low carb no sugar   Moisturize.

 

And genetics. 

I don’t go out during the day. Having thought about it I’m convinced it’s the medicine, as I’m still experiencing dryness, which isn’t usual for me.

when I say aging I don’t mean wrinkles or loose skin, I mean not looking like a child anymore.

 

 

Edited March 18, 2024 by MikalX

[Cebakes]

Sound like you are imagining that you are older than you really look.  I looked and you are only 22 and you mentioned the cashier thinking you were 16 or 17.  I’m sure you are being hard on yourself and look like a teenager.

 

[MikalX]

14 minutes ago, Cebakes said:

Sound like you are imagining that you are older than you really look.  I looked and you are only 22 and you mentioned the cashier thinking you were 16 or 17.  I’m sure you are being hard on yourself and look like a teenager.

 

I mentioned that I put my age couple years younger on social media, I obviously wouldn’t wanna put myself as 16 or 17 cause that would be against the rules. My date of birth says I’m older than 22 by couple of years. Not sure about my biological age. I consider looking late teen is adult age, I preferred when children/adults thought I’m 12.  I have seen those procedures where a 45 years old man looked on his 30 after, I can see that it’s invasive and I’m afraid of that.

[Guest ErickWcurls]

On 3/18/2024 at 8:13 AM, MikalX said:

I don’t go out during the day. Having thought about it I’m convinced it’s the medicine, as I’m still experiencing dryness, which isn’t usual for me.

when I say aging I don’t mean wrinkles or loose skin, I mean not looking like a child anymore.

 

 

That's lifey dear. We get old and die.  But every person must developrself worth beyond just physical appearance, or you'll be sad your whole life

[MissNMTX]

As I read through these posts. It seems as though it might be something to speak with a professional about.

Aging physically really is just a part of being alive. Non of us live in Neverland. Of course, we all want to age as gracefully and slowly as we can. If it's not a matter of health or lifestyle changes. Then I think it's worth it to reach out and ask for help since it seems to be of such concern to you.