The want of feeling appreciated

[VeryOwnDesire89]

Do you ever just want to wake up in a morning or even noticing before you go to bed, a nice, loving, caring message from someone close to you? just feeling appreciated and knowing someone out there really cares about you? I'd like to think everyone does right? At least i do.

When you think about someone you like/love, what really goes through peoples minds? In my head, it's the want of wanting to show that person appreciation, thanking them for being there, existing. You think about your partner and in your head ideas pop up, you feel lucky, grateful, you feel like you want to express how you feel towards them. You may drop them a message, see how they are doing, you ask them things because they are on your mind. Subconsciously making them aware you was thinking of them. 

I like to feel like i don't ask/want a lot, just something real. Real to me is more on how you do things rather than what you do. Being in a relationship doesn't feel real, but having someone that goes out their way to make sure you are alright, feels more real than anything. To me, someone coming behind you and giving you a cuddle is real, someone showing interesting in what you are doing is real, someone that makes you feel like you exist, these things all are real yet i feel like these little things are overlooked.

I want to go out my way for someone because this person is significant in my life to do so. They bring me comfort and joy and happiness, im grateful for everything and my only way of showing back the love and kindness they have for me is by giving them as much back to them as they have given to you. I come across ddlg many moons ago looking for the answer, what is the ultimate relationship and test of love. I've watched 2 many films, Disney movies, read stories and from a young age i created a fantasy in my head which lead me to discovering ddlg. I had hoped it was the answer to everything, seeing how ddlg presents itself in the form of this unbreakable bond and in depth levels of love and desire to love and care for one another.

Have i created this fantasy in my head? Have i made myself become delusional? Have i built myself up to believe it's possible and in reality im asking for too much? My mind questions this over and over, through each encounter, through each relationship. It's hard to be satisfied, fulfilled, to genuinely feel like i have something special. i'd like to believe these things are real and exist yet why does it prove difficult to find? Do girls find it harder to express and show their appreciation to their partners? is it the same or worse with guys? 

I will not give up on my journey of finding something real. I know what i want/need and as i feel like the want of feeling appreciated maybe a fantasy, i still hold onto hope that 1 person in this world is thinking the same things as me right now and searching for the same answers as i am. Relationships are all about equality, treating someone the way you wish to be treat yourself and that's all i've been searching for. 


If you got this far then im curious what your take on this is? How do you see appreciation?  Are you in a relationship/dynamic where you have this? Do you experience similar things from your dating pasts where you maybe the 1 carrying the relationship and didn't feel appreciated? People are welcome to share their stories and thoughts.

Edited February 7, 2024 by VeryOwnDesire89

[Guest Luna1111]

Real is something i have struggled to find too. For me personally, it’s been that I don’t receive back the equal level of effort i put in. And words are often just that, words. Honesty and integrity and loyalty is something I haven’t found yet. I’m a giver and i get caught in takers traps. Words should hold weight and promises should never be taken lightly. Appreciation should go equally both ways in the manner of what each person needs. Unfortunately that hasn’t been my case either. I live in hope though. I hope you find your efforts rewarded in time. My mum always tells me ‘What’s meant for us won’t pass us by’ and i try to think that way. Especially recently. 

[Old_Stinky]

I'm happy to offer a bit of my own experience. It took me a long time to learn the importance of expressing how I feel. It's easy to take people for granted. Friends, family, partners. I think we teach each other the wrong things sometimes. If someone really cares about something, they take the time and effort to show it right? A question it took a long time to ask myself. 

There was a time when everyone who knew me, knew that I was a cold bitter asshole. Doesn't matter if it wasn't the whole truth. It was the only thing I cared enough about to express to others. It's a kind of laziness I think. Emotional laziness. We just want to assume that the people we care about must know how we truly feel. 

It's not a mistake I will ever repeat. I think it's a lesson everyone has to learn at some point. It's nice to think some people might learn the easy way, but it doesn't seem like even empathy comes easily these days. No one wants to hold themselves accountable for how they make others feel. People will always veer towards the easy path, and they'll often mistake laziness and cowardice for easy. 

[Guest ErickWcurls]

Haven't had anyone send me a loving message in a long time.  I'm very lonely

[Softie.Sleepy]

sending words of love and getting kind loving words from someone significant in your life is not asking for too much and it not a fantasy someone peoples love language is Expression through words and some people need that to know they are loved. It not far fetched to want to get this or want to do this. I love when my Partner does this for me I need it done other wise I panic and worried I am not loved. I also am obsessed with giving my fiancé mini love paragraphs. I believe you will find someone who you can do this too or will do this to you. 

[Guest ErickWcurls]

On 2/7/2024 at 10:50 PM, Softie.Sleepy said:

sending words of love and getting kind loving words from someone significant in your life is not asking for too much and it not a fantasy someone peoples love language is Expression through words and some people need that to know they are loved. It not far fetched to want to get this or want to do this. I love when my Partner does this for me I need it done other wise I panic and worried I am not loved. I also am obsessed with giving my fiancé mini love paragraphs. I believe you will find someone who you can do this too or will do this to you. 

I'm hope so.   Ty

[English]

On 2/7/2024 at 11:51 PM, VeryOwnDesire89 said:

Do you ever just want to wake up in a morning or even noticing before you go to bed, a nice, loving, caring message from someone close to you? just feeling appreciated and knowing someone out there really cares about you? I'd like to think everyone does right? At least i do.

When you think about someone you like/love, what really goes through peoples minds? In my head, it's the want of wanting to show that person appreciation, thanking them for being there, existing. You think about your partner and in your head ideas pop up, you feel lucky, grateful, you feel like you want to express how you feel towards them. You may drop them a message, see how they are doing, you ask them things because they are on your mind. Subconsciously making them aware you was thinking of them. 

I like to feel like i don't ask/want a lot, just something real. Real to me is more on how you do things rather than what you do. Being in a relationship doesn't feel real, but having someone that goes out their way to make sure you are alright, feels more real than anything. To me, someone coming behind you and giving you a cuddle is real, someone showing interesting in what you are doing is real, someone that makes you feel like you exist, these things all are real yet i feel like these little things are overlooked.

I want to go out my way for someone because this person is significant in my life to do so. They bring me comfort and joy and happiness, im grateful for everything and my only way of showing back the love and kindness they have for me is by giving them as much back to them as they have given to you. I come across ddlg many moons ago looking for the answer, what is the ultimate relationship and test of love. I've watched 2 many films, Disney movies, read stories and from a young age i created a fantasy in my head which lead me to discovering ddlg. I had hoped it was the answer to everything, seeing how ddlg presents itself in the form of this unbreakable bond and in depth levels of love and desire to love and care for one another.

Have i created this fantasy in my head? Have i made myself become delusional? Have i built myself up to believe it's possible and in reality im asking for too much? My mind questions this over and over, through each encounter, through each relationship. It's hard to be satisfied, fulfilled, to genuinely feel like i have something special. i'd like to believe these things are real and exist yet why does it prove difficult to find? Do girls find it harder to express and show their appreciation to their partners? is it the same or worse with guys? 

I will not give up on my journey of finding something real. I know what i want/need and as i feel like the want of feeling appreciated maybe a fantasy, i still hold onto hope that 1 person in this world is thinking the same things as me right now and searching for the same answers as i am. Relationships are all about equality, treating someone the way you wish to be treat yourself and that's all i've been searching for. 


If you got this far then im curious what your take on this is? How do you see appreciation?  Are you in a relationship/dynamic where you have this? Do you experience similar things from your dating pasts where you maybe the 1 carrying the relationship and didn't feel appreciated? People are welcome to share their stories and thoughts.

This is only possible in fairy tail. It's impossible in real life.

[Little kaiya]

Very very possible, my Daddy leaves me messages, little pictures He's drawn and just in general sweet messages all the time 💗

[redruffle41]

This is such an honest and thoughtful post. It's cute to want the specialness, the connected parts of a relationship...I think everybody is going to have a different answer for you. But here is mine:   1. I managed to fall in love with me first when I was about 27/30 years old. Truly, me. The person I am, my purpose, characteristics, my strengths, the things I contribute, my way of being. How I am with others, the music I like, the story of my life, how it's mine and no one else's. I love and appreciate others but I like me best. I am my #1 fan. I fall in love with that. After that it's like I know who I am the same way that I know that today is Tuesday.....I just.....know.

2.  I have to step into my power. This means putting myself first in my life and really making sure that I don't put others, even my child, before me. I have to be.....present, appreciated and prioritized by me. 

3.  Then after that relationship and love anyone's guessing game! Lol, but let it be fun! Let it be exciting and let it be brave when you go out and meet people. Let it be HORRIBLE!! LOL (love sucks!! Lol), let it be hard, and sad and full of horrible necessary GROWTH!! 

4. And then say thank you. Thanks to God or life or whatever the heck for all the people you know (have known) that have contributed to your life (positively or negatively). And mostly thanks to God for yourself. The best love you could ever have or experience is the complete joy of loving the shit out of the fierce, loving, brave and strong individual you are. And thankful to God (om? Nothingness, atheism, wiccan??) for helping me find my way to my own self love. To have this experience where I am my own greatest romance ......that seems to be the door to paradise and also where what's beyond that door truly doesn't matter.....cuz I've got everything. I've got me.

 

Ps. If daddy doesn't text me back I totally downward spiral so we are all fucked when it comes to love. 😂 

Edited Tuesday at 10:43 PM by redruffle41