Not using social media: red flag or green flag?

[Capri]

When someone tells you that they don't use social media, do you view it in a positive or negative way? 

Let's discuss! 

[Little kaiya]

I'm one of those folks that doesn't use a ton of social media. I can't say none but I don't use the major platforms. I just don't see the point honestly. Rather than watch what other people are doing or saying I'd rather be out doing myself. Also social media can have a lot of toxicity which I just don't want in my life.

Whether someone else uses it or not isn't a red flag or a green flag to me. My Wife doesn't use it and my Boyfriend does. It would be more about what they use it for and how much that would have me seeing it as a possible red flag.

[Restraints-and-Cuffs]

I don't think it should be either. I'm only talking about it from my perspective as someone who doesn't use social media. 

I'm extremely private and I do not care much for an online presence. I do have one form of social media for professional purposes but I'm not really even there. 

However, I understand that it is suspicious when getting to know someone online. But I personally wouldn't mind jumping through extra hoops to ensure that I say who I am and verify what I say. 

But honestly you wouldn't be able to glean much other than the fact that they are single or not. And based on my experience of different cultures, it is not always possible to learn about that too. (People choose to hide that they are in a relationship online in some cultures where the idea is frowned upon by their families)

People automatically feel safer when someone is present on social media since they can see glimpses of who they but it's much easier to mask who you are using social media if you choose to do so. 

I hope that not having it isn't a red flag but if someone thinks it's a red flag, I would understand. 

I don't think it move the needle one way or the other if I came across some who doesn't use social media. 

[Guest RaawrrrPincess]

I don't use a ton of social media either.

[PapaMax]

Have you seen Facebook and especially Twitter lately? How could anyone see that as a bad thing if someone didn't want to be on there?

[VeryOwnDesire89]

From someone who used social media a lot to almost not using it other than to keep in touch with family i've come to view social media these days as just a negative experience.

So in terms of is it bad for not using it vs good using it...

Id actually argue that people who use it all the time, especially if it's in regards of making posts wanting acknowledgement, approval, praise or attention is more of a red flag than someone not using it entirely. From my experience if those that are often in this category they are usually not fullfilled in life and will use these platforms to keep their options open for other potential partners. I've dated some e-girls and they are the biggest red flags going. Im sure same can go for guys who probably post all gym selfies online also.

many years ago social media felt like a good place to post things to somewhat share abit more of your life or even your own accomplishments but these days its more about being competitive, a competition.

So for me someone who doesn't use social media or very little footprint is more of a green flag for me. If you spend more time on social media than interacting with people who should be important in your life then sorry but, you are just not someone i want in my life.

Edited February 7, 2024 by VeryOwnDesire89

[beanbean]

I don't use it a ton but it is just a preference thing

[DaddysMonkey]

It really depends on the person and if they are being honest. 
 

I use Snapchat and this forum. I have no other forms of social media because I think it’s trash. If used correctly social media can be great - but these days it’s used for people to beg for attention , get pity parties and mope about their lives - it creates numerous mental health issues for most people. 
 

If someone doesn’t have social media - I initially seem to trust them a little bit more. Just from personal experience - if someone is so attached to social media that it has to be seen as a red or green flag - it’s too important to begin with to you. Not you specifically , but in general. 

Edited February 7, 2024 by DaddysMonkey

[Guest narwalprincess]

I think like most people said, it's a preference thing..

For example, I have social media accounts but I don't post anything because I'm a private person. I don't see it as a flag, but I prefer if the person has social media accounts so we can share meme's and stuff like that haha but it's not a problem if they don't, for me. 

 

[Softie.Sleepy]

this need too be understood because so many people don't seem to get this. I know this is not properly understood because I am a social media influencer with a huge TikTok following and my fiancé hates social media and only used steam, and Facebook and sometimes YouTube. he deleted his TikTok and instagram. he only had TT and IG because I asked him to get them for me. Not everyone likes social media some people are very introverted to the point they don't even want social media. just because social media has become the New NORMAL and  so many billions are on them doesn't mean everyone on plant earth will like social media. Social media is a toxic cesspool of awful people so I don't blame some people for not using it. in my mind it's Not a red flag or a green flag but more of a middle ground. 

[JunleMaster]

I thought I’d chime in since your take resonates with me. I don't use social media much either, aside from what I need for work (I run some digital marketing services, so it’s kinda necessary—if you're curious about growing accounts, I’ve used sites like getlikes.com before. But outside of that, I’m not big on it for personal use. I agree, it’s all about balance and the intention behind the use.

Edited September 11, 2024 by JunleMaster

[Gentleman_Daddy]

Depends what you call social media, listening to some music on youtube is a far cry from filling your head with TikTok BS all day. I would rather go to dinner with someone who attentive, engaging and carried a decent conversation than I would with someone who had to grab selfies for her Instagram.

[Huggybear]

I consider myself pretty off the grid. I use tumblr these days for following a few informative blogs and animal videos. I dont have to engage with people there at all which I like.

I have facebook but even that has been on the chopping list because my family uses it and I highly dislike when they do those mention things and expand my online presence without my say so or knowing.

I use this forum as the only contact with "random" people, and if people werent so nice and smart I wouldnt be here either.

I personally think high or out of control use of social media is closer to a red flag than a green one. Social media feeds into instant gratification and creates a problem with dopamine dependency . Tiktok/youtube shorts/IG/X are the worst in my opinion. Now having said that, communicating with friends is always encouraged, as is making connections to benefit careers or sales - for that social media is pretty much a must.

Like with everything in life, use moderation and identify whether youre in control or being controlled and act accordingly.

 

Edited September 9, 2024 by Huggybear

[weirdunicorn]

i don’t really use social media. this forum is the closest thing. i have an instagram but ive been locked out for over a year. i have a tic tok I haven’t opened for over a year. and i once had a snap chat but i don’t even keep the app on my phone anymore. to me there are benefits but the toxicity out weighs those benefits. 
 

however i think that if someone does have social media it’s a good way to get a feel for them. see how they interact with friends and family members over time ect…

and a lack of social media presence could be hiding something…. 
 

[CaptnLucid]

I actually see it as a positive. Personally, I've found that social media can be a bit overwhelming and distracting. If someone isn't into it, it probably means they're more focused on real-life connections and less stressed by online drama. I’ve cut back on social media myself and noticed a big improvement in my overall well-being.

[LeftyGuitar]

I don't see it as a red-flag per se. I hardly ever use social media. I have a Facebook, but I hardly ever get on it anymore. I think for older people social media is just losing the appeal it once had.

[starlie]

i personally view it positively as social media has done a number on my attention span (which was already poor bc of adhd) and there is sooo much toxicity on there. i would assume people who don’t use social media have a less clouded mental headspace and better attention span. i def wouldn’t think of it as a red flag though.