Is there any honesty left?

[Guest Luna1111]

So i just got absolute confirmation that the person i met a little over 4 months ago has a long term relationship already. And everything he told me was lies upon lies upon lies. We talked every day for 4 months. He was the one bringing the connection closer and closer. I noticed a few red flags a few weeks back and things started unravelling from there. A couple of weeks ago he said he needed 'space and time to think'. Even though he was the one caught out lying and cheating i said fine because what else was i going to say. Cue today and i needed final closure, i just wanted an honest response for once - and everything about needing space and time was also a lie. He needed time to go and delete all the connections he had with me was more like.

What i can't quite process is how someone can be so cruel and devious. And because there was a few things he told me that were true it has messed with my head. Why? Why be so cruel to someone? I'm obviously hurt but i'm more angry right now. How on earth did i not see that he was so horrible? How did i not see that he played me like a total fool? I see now he was no Daddy - that was one of the red flags i was starting to see - but i also see now that he was a complete coward and i am obviously better off free of him. My head obviously knows this, but my heart is feeling the hurt. I just don't understand how someone could lie so well and say such beautiful amazing things one day and the next be so utterly cold.

It's obvious i never really knew him and i was just someone that made him feel good about himself. I was already doubting everything with him and i knew  it was never going to go anywhere anyway but this, how he treated me, was scary level cruel. My sister thinks i should let his girlfriend know but honestly i just want nothing more to do with it. I sent him care packages and everything! I am so cross with myself. He was so so good at making me laugh, he seemed so sincere. I just don't know how people can be so awful. Do they have no hearts at all? It's actually pretty diabolical. The absolute mind messing he did was evil villain level worthy. 

I'll be fine though, i always am. I am a tough cookie. I won't let this affect the person i am because i've worked too hard to become who i am today. I refuse to let anyone break me. 

[Guest takemetothemountains]

💗🍪 Im sorry this happened to you. Youre a tough cookie! Don't let anyone break you!  

[Guest Luna1111]

Thank you, i appreciate that. Oh i won't, i'm far too stubborn for that. I will just need a little time for my heart to heal back up. I think the thing that is bothering me most is how someone can say such big things to another person, make such grand promises when they never really meant them. I don't understand that type of person. I'm hoping Karma will do it's job!

[DaddyUmbreon]

I'm truly sorry you had to go through such a painful experience. It's completely understandable to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed after discovering someone you trusted was deceitful. It's not your fault for believing in the goodness of someone who turned out to be cruel and manipulative. Sometimes, people show us only what they want us to see, masking their true intentions behind a facade of kindness and sincerity. It's natural to question how you could have missed the signs, but remember, manipulators are skilled at deception.

You have every right to feel angry and disappointed, but please know that you are not alone in this. Many have been through similar situations and have come out stronger on the other side. Your resilience and determination to not let this experience define you are truly admirable. While it may take time to heal from the wounds inflicted by this person, I believe in your ability to overcome this and emerge even stronger.

As for whether to inform his girlfriend, that decision ultimately rests with you. Trust your instincts and do what feels right for you. Just know that you deserve honesty, respect, and love in any relationship, and anyone who fails to provide that doesn't deserve a place in your life. Take care of yourself and lean on your support system during this difficult time. You're a tough cookie indeed, and I have no doubt you'll navigate through this with grace and strength.

 

[Guest Luna1111]

Thank you for your kind words. I know i will be fine in time. I know it's not my fault but it's difficult to not feel that i let myself down. What he did was sick. 

[beanbean]

it does suck and I am sorry. I think there are good people out there just got to ask lots of questions and the truth will always come out

[Guest RaawrrrPincess]

I'm sorry, I've been hurt too.

[Guest Luna1111]

Thank you everyone. I appreciate the support so so much. This is why is stayed single for so long after my long term relationship ended several years ago. I think i've felt more heartache and more lonely this past year than all the years combined before it. Having someone take advantage of my kindness is not unfamiliar to me but this one really showed me the levels someone can go to to trick a person. I love myself enough to get over this and i am strong enough that i won't let it deter me from finding my person eventually. 

[ErickWcurls]

Sorry this happened to you.  There are honest people out there. 

[Guest Luna1111]

Thank you. I sure hope so. 

[strait]

so sad for you dear

[lil Mo]

I admire how strong you are.. 

It feels like this happens so often.. that someone tells nice and pretty things and because we don't want to be alone and they sound so good we let them in little by little, open up, get vulnerable and when we're ready to give our whole heart the hurt is so much worse. 

But you are already building yourself up, you believe in your strength and your worth and I admire you so much for that.. 

I make the mistake to look for what I might have done wrong, might have done better when the fault lies with the other.. 

You go on like this, stay strong, believe in yourself and your worth and I wish you to find your special one who treats you like you deserve and better!! 

[Guest Luna1111]

Aww thank you for your kind words. I appreciate them. I’m hurting and confused still and will be til i heal up. But yes i am too stubborn to let anyone break me. My brain knows it’s his loss and not mine. That his actions are not a reflection of my worth. I’ve been in similar situations before unfortunately. I will not give in. I’m hibernating for now but i’ll come back out again. 😌

[Old_Stinky]

Just don't ever blame yourself for another's sins. I don't know what excuses this man may have told himself to try and justify this, but none of them could be good enough. 

I'm sorry for your pain. I really am. I wish the world was a better place. I wish I could say "there's nothing to be afraid of", but the world keeps giving girls plenty of reasons. 

Sometimes hope is all we have, but hope is a powerful thing. Sometimes it feels like there's nothing we can do, but there is always acceptance. In that we can find the strength and resolve to carry on. 

[Guest Luna1111]

Thank you, that’s really nice of you to say. Honestly it’s the lies that hit me the hardest. How anyone can be so careless about things that should be taken seriously and with love, I will never understand. I’m already on the mend just through shear unwillingness to let any more of my time being spent on him. I’ve allowed myself to feel all the feels these past couple of weeks and have definitely wallowed the past few days. But through people on here, and my own personal friends, i have realised that it’s just a lesson i need to learn from. That while i can’t take back the time i spent, and I won’t ever get an apology or closure, it is ultimately up to me to accept my own mistakes too and move forward. There is someone out there perfectly imperfect for me and wasting any more time on someone that doesn’t deserve it is only doing a disservice to myself and the possible other person I might meet one day. Taking the higher road has always served me well in the past and so i will do that again. I have so much love and fun and optimism to share. I refuse to let any more of my light be dimmed. I’m not perfect but i am a good person and this belief in myself will see me through. Thank you everyone for your kind thoughtful words! I’m going to read and nest and do some self care and just….  remember who i am.
Go raith mile maith agat x

[Punographer]

I'm so sorry he betrayed your trust and hurt you. That's really scummy. 

It's definitely okay to know, you don't have to be a tough cookie. If you were hit by a car, chances are you wouldn't just get up and walk away like your not hurt. This guy put his foot on the accelerator and emotionally crashed into you, a bystander. Could you have seen the "signs"? Could you have been more wary? It's possible you could have but at the end of it, the reality is someone you trusted betrayed you. You are not at fault and it's okay to feel all the emotions. Take some time to process what happened and perhaps talk through it with a therapist or someone you trust.

I've had a past relationship with a similar vein but it took me a really long time to realize that it wasn't my fault. I didn't have to rationalize ways I could have mitigated the pain or even view myself as an active participant of the betrayal. Maybe a little under a decade later, I've come to terms that I am not apart of his crime as you are not apart of your ex's. 

All super heroes need a recovery arch. Take yours😉

[Guest Luna1111]

You're incredibly sweet thank you. Don't worry i am doing all the self care right now that i can. Both inside and out. To help myself remember who i am. I've been through it before so i know i will be fine. There are ups and downs but i'm in a better positive mindset now after venting and letting myself really feel it all. Also talking with one of my closest friends has helped a huge deal - it's her that says it to me "Remember who you are Luna". I've been through worse, which isn't great, but under these circumstances means that as much as it hurts, i've overcome much more in my life already and i'm still here, just being me and smiling whenever i can. My super hero name would be 'Stubborn-moon' 😆

[Softie.Sleepy]

this sucks BIG time! I've been there before! sorry this is happening to you! you will find someone who's honest eventually sadly in todays day and age it takes time