Can your little be more successful than you?

[Capri]

Would you feel insecure if a little earned more than you? 

I found a lot of "daddies" out there want to be seen as the main provider and feel threatened as a man if the little girl has a more successful career. It's a bit disappointing to hear as an ambitious little with big dreams. Does it mess with the power dynamic? 

Financial status never seemed like a big deal to me unless the guy was in crippling debt or asked to borrow money (which has happened before yuck) but now I feel like I have to find a daddy who is more successful so not to be intimidated or take advantage of me. 

From the caregivers perspective what are your thoughts?

[beanbean]

To me it's not huge deal as long as your compatible and like you say not in crippling debt I don't care if the little is making more then me .it's supposed to be about what makes the little secure and happy so noi don't think so.tho ism sure there daddy's who feel that not me

[shadowrider]

 How much my partner makes has nothing to do with me or my self worth and plays no part in the relationship. As long as they accept me as I am and do not expect me to turn into a tuxedo wearing James Bond type guy that goes to high brow events, cus thats not gonna happen, its all gravy.

 A daddy can be a provider and even pay all the household bills but that shouldn't put limits on your dreams or earning potential. He should probably be happy knowing that if something happens to him you will still be ok financially.

 Do not change who you are or who you dream to be for someone else. The right partner will want to see you achieve your dreams and be there to help you celebrate.

[DaddysMonkey]

I’ll reply to this later when I’m not at work and have more time , my short answer for now is : 

If a caregiver ever tells me I need to make less or is intimidated by myself , my career and the amount of money I make - they can fucking kick rocks. I can understand it making them feel insecure , but if your caregiver isn’t proud of you and the fact that you can support yourself without them …. That’s a red flag to me. 
 

I am the king of my own fate and a persons insecurity concerning my income and incomparable work ethic and drive makes them immediately unattractive to me. You’re mad I make more than you ? Fuckin work harder than and try to beat me. 

Edited January 31, 2024 by DaddysMonkey

[Little kaiya]

I am a little and I am 100% the primary financial provider in our home. I make about three times what my Wife and Daddy make when you combine their incomes.

What I make or they make has NOTHING to do with the DDlg elements of our relationship. It does NOTHING to undermine the power dynamic because we don't let it have an impact. If my Wife or Daddy ever told me I need to make less because it threatened them I would frankly tell them to grow up and get over it.

My Wife and Daddy are very proud of my professional career because they know I am very proud of it. Just the thought that someone would feel insecure about this is a flag to me that they aren't mature enough to be a Caregiver.

Edited January 31, 2024 by Little kaiya

[LittleBunnyCici]

So! Given that I'm a switch, I can chime in on this conversation from both ends of the spectrum.

And the answer is - surprising absolutely no one who knows that I'm a rabid Feminist - anyone who demands that you make yourself small in order to appease their own ego is a juvenile, selfish prick who isn't mature enough to be in a relationship with anyone and who deserves to languish under the soul-crushing weight of eternal loneliness lmfao This is doubly true for anyone who attempts to weaponize a kink-based dynamic against you or to manipulate your desire/willingness/eagerness to please them in order to satisfy some Neandertal-level idea of gender or dynamic roles.

I have brought home 75-80% of the household income in some relationships, and 35-40% in others, both as a Caregiver and as a little. Sure, as a Caregiver, I enjoy being able to spoil a little, and as a little I enjoy being spoiled by a Caregiver and told I don't have to work (because, let's face it, who in their right mind wouldn't enjoy being able to decouple work from their ability to live). But those are only one specific aspect of a much broader dynamic. And, to be quite honest, neither of them is at all required to be a Caregiver or a little. Lots of CG'ers and littles have relationships that do not touch on or involve their finances in any way.

All the social elements aside, though, let's get real. Anyone who is willing to unironically tell you that you need to sabotage your career or professional reputation because your success makes them uncomfortable is not mature enough to be in a relationship from a practical level alone. Who the Hell in today's economy can afford that??? lmfao

I totally understand what you mean about how disappointing it is to see how many would-be Caregivers get turned off by a little who has ambitions. I want to get my degree in psychology and social work and work with survivors of sexual trauma, and while I may be struggling with where I am in my life right now those ambitions are pretty foundational to my identity and values. I've run into plenty of would-be Caregivers who've had the audacity to act personally offended when I make it clear that I'm not going to let them turn me into their idealized mousey version of the trad housewife. I'd like to be able to be a stay-at-home mother some day, but that's a fantasy that takes a backseat to my professional goals. In fact, my last "Daddy" was very much like that - he would lose his shit whenever I had a dissenting opinion or didn't want to move as fast as he did, and eventually after giving him way too many chances to fix his behavior (and a stern talking to by my sister, my ultimate ride-or-die whose presence in my life I can never be thankful for enough) I told him to go pound sand lol

Edited January 31, 2024 by Cloverworked

[Barney048]

I'm a Dom who's mostly dated strong independent women who often they made more money than me. Or maybe it just seemed like it because of how fast I spent my moneys 🤡

Unless you are an insecure individual it probably won't bother you. It bothered me for a while when I was younger because I was mad at myself for not living up to my full potential. Being with a partner who was successful and fought hard in life was a daily reminder of how I was wasting my time. I was never jealus of my partner. However It did make me feel inadequate to be with someone like that. Someone with a clear goal and the resolve to put in the effort to achieve it. Due to that I ended a couple relationships. It just felt like I needed to work on myself first.

Now I'm hustling and learning daily. Even if my partner makes way more money than me now it doesen't bother me because I am happy with where I am. 

[Guest Norcaldaddy707]

So just my humble opinion.....

in a relationship educational background and financial circumstances definitely play a part. Though maybe not the most important part. 

I've never had a partner make anywhere near close to me before; however, I'd have to say that I would welcome it. 

I have had a partner who was highly educated and had a great career. She was a go getter for sure and I supported that fully. I am naturally assertive and dominate so the fact she was doing well didn't intimidate me. I was proud of her. 

I have always been a provider and even if my partner made more than me, I'd still pick up the tabs and buy her flowers and gifts and do all the things (I think) a daddy and good partner is supposed to do. 

As a partner I always support my special someone to do the best SHE can and accomplish whatever it is SHE wants. If that's just to stay at home and kick it because that is all she wants to do (and that is what makes her happy). That's cool. If she's a surgeon or aspiring to be one. Also Cool. I will support her and help her to accomplish anything she wants to be happy.

So with that being said, why should a little having a greater level of success, a better financial portfolio, or big ambitions be off putting in anyway?

Just my 2¢.... Have a great weekend.

[MasterPhotog]

On 1/31/2024 at 9:23 AM, Capri said:

Would you feel insecure if a little earned more than you? 

I found a lot of "daddies" out there want to be seen as the main provider and feel threatened as a man if the little girl has a more successful career. It's a bit disappointing to hear as an ambitious little with big dreams. Does it mess with the power dynamic? 

Financial status never seemed like a big deal to me unless the guy was in crippling debt or asked to borrow money (which has happened before yuck) but now I feel like I have to find a daddy who is more successful so not to be intimidated or take advantage of me. 

From the caregivers perspective what are your thoughts?

 

Thank you for posting this interesting topic. Here's my 2 cents: 

No, I wouldn't feel insecure if my little earned more or if she is more ambitious than me. In fact, I would be proud of her and do my best to make her enjoy, celebrate and excel in her success. 

A Daddy's / CG's primary role should be to nurture, care and make the little feel special and loved, and never to take advantage of her or to intimate her based on his own wealth. 

Financially, as long as  both partners are able to contribute towards paying their combined bills, it's all good. Even though either partner's earnings or savings can change from time to time, that should not effect their primary roles, dynamic or selfless love and dedication between them. 

 

Edited February 4, 2024 by MasterPhotog

[Capri]

Thank you all for your amazing insights on this topic! 

Glad that others in the community chimed in the discussion too it's great to hear from various perspectives not only caregivers. That was really helpful! 

I took some time to reflect on what it is to have a caregiver-little relationship and realized that the majority of what I've seen from those guys didn't seem to be true caregivers at all. 

No matter my career or financial status I'm still a little who wants to be spoiled and cared for like a princess. Instead I was made to feel guilty for being an ambitious worker while also wanting a provider. 

"You can't have your cake and eat it too... so throw out your cake and eat only the one I made in order to make me feel superior" kind of energy.. ICK!

Wanting to be pampered and taken care of while also having external big goals shouldn't have to be a compromise. 

[SadyDaddy]

First: Sorry I literally only read the post of the thread-starter and wanted to shot away my thought: 

For me, it is even a main goal of a CG/CT/DD to push your little for their dreams. If their dream is being wealthy, so it be. Help them, support them, get them rich! 

Daddys, who fear to lose their "control" over a little, no matter if because of money or something else, have NOT understood ANYTHING about DD/lg or any other human relationship. Just my 2 cents  

[Kittyara207]

Well, 

My spouse which won't be after June he's a vanilla type.  It means sooooo much to him he gave up a great job with amazing benefits for a not as secure position and shitty benefits just so I wouldn't make more than him.  

He also will not put extra into his retirement or anything that will help him in the future.  He will not pay for kiddo's insurance when I brought it up just his own.   His reasoning 'If he loses his job again.'  And then he pulls the poor pitiful attitude.  And gets all bent out of shape.  Even though all the money is in the same account.

I don't dare tell him after my certifications which one of my tests are set for March.  The other July I will make over $10.00 more an hour than him.  He would hit the roof.  

I wouldn't let it bother me or change my mind on someone's ability to be the dominant self they are.  There's so much more to being a Daddy or CG than money or providing in that way.  That should not be a reason a Little or other is drawn to a Daddy.  It's coming home and feeling secure, cared for, accepted, loved, adored, safe and just wanted, never questioning your place in the relationship.  Just able to be.  May have gone a bit off topic.  Bye