Maintaining a D/s relationship after having children?

[SweetIsMyMiddleName]

Hello everybody! 😊

My Dom and I have a question regarding how to go about maintaining a D/s relationship after having a child? 
 

Are there any experienced people on the forum around willing to give us some insight as to how they have maintained the D/s or how they typically run their family/household in a D/s relationship? 
 

We have some questions listed below but feel free to pass on any advice or insight that you might have on the topic. 
 

How restrictive has it been having a child in the mix of a D/s dynamic?
 

What things do you find easiest or the hardest to continue in regards to how your D/s dynamic operated in your life before having a child?

What substitute behaviours have you adopted if you have had to make alterations to your dynamic and was the change welcomed?

How do you conduct yourself around the child as Dom and sub without being obvious to your roles and dynamic on a whole?

When the child starts asking questions related to D/s such as “why does mummy wear that (collar) around her neck?”, how would you respond?

Do you feel a couple can maintain a healthy D/s relationship alongside a healthy family dynamic?

We appreciate any and all contributions.
💓

Edited January 25, 2024 by SweetIsMyMiddleName

[Guest RaawrrrPincess]

It's totally possible to have a healthy D/s relationship with children. I think many over think this kind of thing.

As far as things you might wear ie: a collar, if it's some thing they see on a regular they won't necessarily ask questions...if you were to suddenly start wearing collar in front of your 10 year old, yeah, then they might ask.

As far as roles go it's common sense, how would you conduct yourself in public? You're obviously not going to do anything sexual in front if the child and probably no punishment either. They aren't going to know the difference unless you make it obvious.

As far as restrictiveness...once my kid was older we had "date night". Date night happened every 3 nights, sometimes my sister would take him for the weekend.

A child is a blessing, I love being a mother. I had questions just like you but I realized it wasn't necessary. By the time your kid starts asking questions you will know what to say...you will have talked about it with your partner. I know many families with the don't ask don't tell philosophy. I personally am a firm believer in not sharing my kink but I don't hide it. 

GET A GOOD LOCK LOL! I had to teach my teen to use his student ID to get me out of a locked bathroom when the knob broke. The little twerp then turned around and broke into my playroom, and found out his mom was a whole lot weirder than he thought. He never asked about what he saw so I feel no reason to embarrass him further and explaining. 

The point is...we can answer these questions, give you ideas on how we do or would handle it but everyone and every situation is going to be different. But when the time comes that they do ask questions, if they ask questions...you'll just wing it like we did!

Good luck!

[SweetIsMyMiddleName]

@RaawrrrPincess

Sorry for the late reply but thank you for your response, Sir and I appreciate it. 
 

I guess what we’ve gathered from all you’ve said is that it’s ok to go with the flow and just do what feels right for us. A lot as you have pointed out is common sense, and the rest we will just figure out as we go along. 
 

We enjoyed your funny story too about the playroom. 
 

Thanks and all the best to you. 
 

Sir and sweet.