…What is that… thing ?

[DaddysMonkey]

*waves* 

Heeeeeeeeello. 

I cannot claim the organic inspiration for this topic , it is something that has peaked my interest now nonetheless.
The thought for this discussion came from the mind and status of @DarkFantasy - so shout out for the inspiration ! 

So what is a brat anyway ? What is this … thing that people claim to be , hate being called , some people love and adore , and others have a hard time getting along with ? 

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/brat#:~:text=a,an ill-mannered immature person

“An ill-mannered and annoying child.” 

While that is the literal definition of the word , it’s fairly subjective. It can be seen as an insult , a blunt descriptive word for someone , or as a term of endearment.

Now that we have the literal definition out of the way , let’s get to the point. 

As caregivers , your opinions on this matter interests me quite a bit but I do expect some littles to chime in. Because of this I will simply just present some questions for both parties and answer some of them myself. 

CAREGIVERS - 

- What do you consider bratty behavior / a brat ?
- Is bratty behavior something you consider endearing , something that is punishable , or both ?
- Is being a brat something that is full time behavior , something engraved into someone’s being , or somewhere in between ? 
- Do you believe that letting bratty behavior go unpunished can cause toxic or unhealthy habits ? 
- Do you have a preference between “Brats” , or “Good girls” ?  
- Are brats are attractive to you and if so , why ? 

LITTLES - 

- Are you a brat ? 
- What do you consider bratty behavior / a brat ?
- Do you expect your bratty behavior to be punished or something that your caregiver lets slide , or maybe a mixture of both ? 
- Is being a brat something that is full time behavior , something engraved into someone’s being , or somewhere in between ? 
- Do you believe that letting bratty behavior go unpunished can cause toxic or unhealthy habits ? 
- Does being a brat feel like an insult to you ? Does it feel like a playful term , or something you are proud of ? 

 

MY PERSONAL ANSWERS / OPINIONS : 

- Are you a brat ? 

* Absolutely. (A playful one.)

- What do you consider bratty behavior / a brat ?

* I believe that it can go one of two ways.. Positive and playful … or Negative and narcissistic. Some examples would be as follows :
Playful: Talking back in a playful manner , doing things your caregiver might find annoying (a personal example for me is giving wet Willie’s - they think it’s gross but I pretend I am gunna do it to get a rise out of them.) , huffing and puffing over small and silly things like not wanting to do a chore ( only to end up doing the chore anyways) , pulling pranks on your caregiver , using your charm to get your way over small things like where to eat or what activities to do for the day (I have done this in the past , wanting to go to the arcade or the zoo already knowing that they will want to go anyways - so it’s  not something I am throwing an actual fit over… more just like a very shy and borderline sexual asking for something if I am “good”) , being obnoxiously loud , especially while laughing (I am feral and will forever laugh as loud as my body tells me to in public) , doing things to embarrass your caregiver such as burping in public or telling inappropriate jokes to strangers. (I will sometimes do these things - the jokes only if they seem okay with it.) 
Negative: Being nasty towards other people for no other reason than to be nasty , being unreasonable and rude until you get your way , snatching things out of peoples hands , acting as if you are better than people , cutting in line , not having spatial respect and bumping into people to get wherever you’re going , talking back and meaning it - being completely disrespectful , not wanting to be fair , refusal of responsibilities , repeatedly doing things after being told not to. 

- Do you expect your bratty behavior to be punished or something that your caregiver lets slide , or maybe a mixture of both ? 

* I expect a mixture of both. I consider myself to be a playful and cheeky brat rather than a negative one. There are things that I will do because I am searching for firmness or punishment that I feel I might not be receiving and am having a hard time expressing , such as talking back more seriously with a sarcastic attitude… that type of behavior I expect a quick smack to the mouth to straighten me up. There are other behaviors that are annoying and playful that I expect softness and playfulness back , like when I tickle Brother’s feet and he starts to rough house with me or when I try to tackle Dad and he holds me down to make me beg for mercy from his tickles. 

- Is being a brat something that is full time behavior , something engraved into someone’s being , or somewhere in between ? 

* In my opinion , negative brattiness can be enabled , playful brattiness is engraved. I believe that ANYONE can be a negative brat at times , or full time negative brat if you haven’t done enough self work to get better. 

- Do you believe that letting bratty behavior go unpunished can cause toxic or unhealthy habits ? 

* 100% yes. As above stated , negative brattiness can be enabled. When this happens for a long period of time it is very likely that the person who is being a brat will have a hard time making friends or finding a partner. (Yes , there are people who might have differing opinions or even like extremely difficult brat - or those I consider toxic others might find endearing. That is why this subject is so … literally that , subjective I suppose haha.) In my experience , negative brat aren’t hard to miss and because I have been in this lifestyle for so long , I can smell them a mile away. I avoid brats who have more negative traits because I know that I will end up being extremely aggressive with them , while more cheeky and playful brats I flock to because we can cause mischief together. Being a long timer , I have seen plenty of littles with terrible bratty behavior be enabled by their caregiver only for the caregiver to end up completely exhausted from the constant lack of respect and they end up splitting. I have also seen the flip side of that where a caregiver will find it to be more attractive or a kink , so it turns into a constant and sexual back and forth for the pair and it works out great. There are playful littles like me who find caregivers who find it more endearing and are playful right back - as well as caregivers who might find my feral and monkey like behavior to be so annoying to avoid me like the plague.. where the line is drawn for me and it tracks  into toxic territory is when a person has had their negative bratty behavior enabled for so long they they have lost complete respect for all of those around them , and they are so big of a negative brat that they can not keep any friends or a partner. 

- Does being a brat feel like an insult to you ? Does it feel like a playful term , or something you are proud of ? 

It depends n my mood …. LOL. I can be a really well behaved monkey.. I am a good girl most the time to be honest. So I would say about 70% of the time it feels like an insult. The other 30% it triggers something sexual in me to be called a brat. It makes me want to act even more like a brat to prove a point until the brat is taken out of me so to speak. I would say I am proud of some of my bratty qualities , but I would never go around proudly disclaiming “I AM A BRAT HEAR ME ROAR.” You would more likely hear me say “I am cheeky , I am playful or coy.” Growing up - being a brat had such bad implications for me. It meant you were a nasty and spoiled child,.. when I hear the word brat the image of Angelica from Rugrats comes to mind… and I never wanted to be her, 

 

Thank you for your time - and I hope if this peaks your interest , you can answer some  if not all of the questions presented and even ask some of your own. I hope that some of these questions can raise about some healthy discussions. 

Monkey out 🐒💨

 

Edited December 28, 2023 by DaddysMonkey

[Expired]

CAREGIVERS - 

- What do you consider bratty behavior / a brat ?
- Is bratty behavior something you consider endearing , something that is punishable , or both ?
- Is being a brat something that is full time behavior , something engraved into someone’s being , or somewhere in between ? 
- Do you believe that letting bratty behavior go unpunished can cause toxic or unhealthy habits ? 
- Do you have a preference between “Brats” , or “Good girls” ?  
- Are brats are attractive to you and if so , why ? 
 

what I consider bratty behavior / a brat well I never really use the word for anything other than playful and I use other words for the other one but for me personally playful is like talking back but the tone really matters here because if the tone is wrong It can easily be mistaken as disrespectful same with sarcasm which go hand in hand in my opinion or like whining and complaining that you’ve been asked to do something but eventually doing it rather then refusing completely just because you don’t want to even though it’s something that you’re responsible for

bratty behavior for what I consider playful can be endearing but also punishable like if you’re talking back when I know you’re smart enough to know better that’s grounds for punishment if it’s something little like trying to tickle my feet like you said in the post that’s more endearing

I think bratty behavior is depending on person either full time or sometimes I think everyone has a little bit in them 

I do believe that letting bratty behavior go unpunished can result in unhealthy or toxic habits especially if your caregiver is a little bit of a push over nothing wrong with that I just think once it starts getting used far to often to get what you want or you just feel like acting a certain way towards people and there’s no consequences then it could become an issue 

as for preference I think my answer would just be you you have a pretty good mix between brat and good girl 

are brats attractive to me like I said above I think you have a good mix I like a little spice like you got I like a little fight sometimes I also like when you just do what I say too though so yes within reason if you’re 100% brat not for me but there’s always someone out there 

I love you little monkey good topic 

[DaddysMonkey]

10 minutes ago, Expired said:

CAREGIVERS - 

- What do you consider bratty behavior / a brat ?
- Is bratty behavior something you consider endearing , something that is punishable , or both ?
- Is being a brat something that is full time behavior , something engraved into someone’s being , or somewhere in between ? 
- Do you believe that letting bratty behavior go unpunished can cause toxic or unhealthy habits ? 
- Do you have a preference between “Brats” , or “Good girls” ?  
- Are brats are attractive to you and if so , why ? 
 

what I consider bratty behavior / a brat well I never really use the word for anything other than playful and I use other words for the other one but for me personally playful is like talking back but the tone really matters here because if the tone is wrong It can easily be mistaken as disrespectful same with sarcasm which go hand in hand in my opinion or like whining and complaining that you’ve been asked to do something but eventually doing it rather then refusing completely just because you don’t want to even though it’s something that you’re responsible for

bratty behavior for what I consider playful can be endearing but also punishable like if you’re talking back when I know you’re smart enough to know better that’s grounds for punishment if it’s something little like trying to tickle my feet like you said in the post that’s more endearing

I think bratty behavior is depending on person either full time or sometimes I think everyone has a little bit in them 

I do believe that letting bratty behavior go unpunished can result in unhealthy or toxic habits especially if your caregiver is a little bit of a push over nothing wrong with that I just think once it starts getting used far to often to get what you want or you just feel like acting a certain way towards people and there’s no consequences then it could become an issue 

as for preference I think my answer would just be you you have a pretty good mix between brat and good girl 

are brats attractive to me like I said above I think you have a good mix I like a little spice like you got I like a little fight sometimes I also like when you just do what I say too though so yes within reason if you’re 100% brat not for me but there’s always someone out there 

I love you little monkey good topic 

Thank you for taking the time to reply even though you worked so hard all day , it means a lot to me when you share your thoughts on my posts. I love you too Big Brother 💖

[Cheese]

I think for me, the biggest theme that defines brattiness to me is intentional or knowingly doing something to push someone's buttons that could lean towards a reaction that is positive or negative. I don't think it's the behavior itself because if someone is doing something that is annoying me or frustrating me or even teasing me as a caretaker, then that could just be them doing something and not realizing its impact. I don't think behavior on its own is bratty but it becomes bratty in relation to how someone else responds to it. If someone is intentionally trying to get a reaction, that then leans into what I would consider brattiness.

[beanbean]

Like it depends a lot I consider a full on brat temper tantrums, foot stomping, screaming, arguing about everything. And to me that's exhausting to deal with constantly.now a a little push back playfully and then telling that there against something to get there feelings out .it's just a complex subject to me at at the end of the day I guess it always something that is talked about with your partner and the agreement is made to what is acceptably and noy should be agreed to before hand. But a little brattyness is adorable 

[LeftyGuitar]

I wouldn't say I'm a brat. As I switch, I can be dom or sub. However I only act bratty occassionlly. I consider acting out, breaking rules as bratty behavior. I get that being bratty at times can be fun for both a little and CG. The little gets fun out of being bratty while the CG gets to punish their little. This can kinda fall under funishment, however. I believe a little that acts bratty all the time can be toxic unless a CG actually wants a full-time bratty little. I think as long as it doesn't get out of control, being bratty is okay at times. Of course a CG can still punish a bratty little

[LittleOceans]

Oh my goodness this topic is a maze balls!!!!

What you said Monkey and you as well tish is 100% my truth!

I don’t have anything to add on to it but I can answer the questionnaire to the best of my ability. 😅

-Am I a brat?

Depends on my mood, most of the time though I am just wanting to have fun not trying to brat in any way though it’s always looked at as being bratty. I love bantering, I like seeing how far I can take something, I love sarcastic responses. Does this make me a brat? I’m not sure I see it that way. To me I'm making a statement, or a dare, but I never intend it as disobedience. I will obey… eventually. I just need to express my feelings about it first and I don’t always know how to do that so out comes the sarcasm or the push back. I guess I’ll leave it up for others to have their own opinion. Am I a brat… nope not one bit. 
Though I still can’t convince daddy that I’m a perfect angel 😇 hmm… wonder why that is? Ehh maybe one of these days he will see what I do 🤭. 

- What do brats do/ What is a brat?

To me brats are submissive who don’t like being submissive. They fight for the power or top from the bottom and that’s not me. I don’t want power, but I do want my dominant to exert their power *ooh shivers* yeah that does something for me. 

I cause mischief, I want a reaction, I want attention, I absolutely do not want power or control. I want my Daddy’s dominance. I want to be put in my place.

- Do you expect your bratty behavior to be punished or something that your caregiver lets slide , or maybe a mixture of both?
I expect my Dom and Daddy to have his own standards and do with the behavior as he sees fit to. I don’t know what else to say to this. I don’t ever “brat” to be punished, but I do want a reaction. I am not out to hurt feelings or be rude or disrespectful. I respect my dominant immensely and cherish his care and attention that’s all I am ever seeking.

- Is being a brat something that is full time behavior , something engraved into someone’s being , or somewhere in between? 

For me it’s an emotional response or need. So I guess my opinion is that it’s engraved in a person. However, I don’t consider myself a brat so there is that. I can act like a brat but I am not a brat by nature. 

- Do you believe that letting bratty behavior go unpunished can cause toxic or unhealthy habits ? 

I’m not going to be in a relationship where my needs aren’t met. I need my dominant to respond to my behavior, whether that is calling me out on it or joining in on the fun. 

- Does being a brat feel like an insult to you? Does it feel like a playful term , or something you are proud of?

Being called a brat when I’m not meaning to be one, hurts my already very sensitive feeling.
When I’m acting bratty on purpose and I get called out on it that’s an endearment and acknowledgement from my dominant that they see me and they are paying attention and to nock it off. So both being called a brat can be an insult or an endearment. Just depends on context.

bye bye

P.S. Thank you DarkFantasy for the inspiration to Monkey!

[MissNMTX]

I enjoyed the first @tish___post so much. So much for me to think about as I think at least parts of me fall into several of those descriptions.

I don't call myself a brat or even think of myself as one. That said I definitely can see myself being playful or wanting to elicit a reaction in a way that could be considered "bratty". To me though, I think of them as "playful" at worst maybe "whiney" or "needy*. Depending on my headspace at the time of course.

[Andriel_Isilien]

- Are you a brat?

My first answer is "hell no!" but the past two years I've been wondering if I do have a little bit in me (maybe 10%). Because I do like the flirty teasing, witty banter, and cheekiness that is endearing. I discovered with myself that huffing and stomping my foot makes me feel better (even though I know and plan to do whatever it is I have to do). I haven't had the opportunity to explore this side fully as I haven't felt completely safe enough to do so with someone. I have noticed it slipping out a bit here and there and I scare myself. I realize this has to do with my own issues of picking "obedience" as my personality as far as I can remember. Work in progress.

 
- What do you consider bratty behavior / a brat?

My primary definition of brat is the same as what you described for the negative side, absolute disrespect, defiance of authority, and tantrum meltdowns. But as I've been thinking for myself how the term is broader, I'm understanding how brattiness can be more positive and harmless. Being a brat can lighten the mood, a way to show affection, or let out some tension. I can see now it's not all and only TOXIC. There's this balance to it just like most traits. An example where I discovered this for myself was years ago with my bestest friend when we were roommates. I surprised myself how much I felt safe teasing her because I knew that she knew I would never do it out of spite or to bully. We were about to eat a meal together and she went to say grace/pray with her eyes closed. I had the sudden urge to peek and sneak her fork away into my lap. It was hilarious because she went back to get herself another fork. I took the opportunity to set the original one back in its place before she sat back down. She was so confused, and we were both laughing our heads off once I couldn't keep my poker face going 🤣

- Do you expect your bratty behavior to be punished or something that your caregiver lets slide, or maybe a mixture of both? 
I do because I naturally associate "brat" with toxic and therefore must be corrected or boundary is enforced. But now I'm thinking there is a mixture because it's subjective to those involved. People have their own hard limits and need to discuss what is on or off the table in the dynamic. Being smacked on the mouth is a hard limit for me as a simple stern look would be enough to set me straight. Even then, my people pleasing mind has the risk of running away with me as I spiral, "oh no, what have I done?!" 😅 Goes to show how important communication is here. Playful teasing might be permitted to "slide" for one relationship, and another may be stricter. Then there's the funishment or take-down roleplaying that a dynamic has agreed to wanting from each other. It truly depends.

 

- Is being a brat something that is full time behavior, something engraved into someone’s being, or somewhere in between? 
I think it's engraved into someone's being? I don't understand how it can be full time behavior because I see that as exhausting. Like it's an act of forever wanting attention that you are struggling to get. I still have much to figure out for myself.

 

- Do you believe that letting bratty behavior go unpunished can cause toxic or unhealthy habits? 
Again, it depends on how those involved have had a discussion (clothes on) about this on what is TOXIC. For me personally, I have the perspective that unpunished will lead to unhealthy habits. Like what's the point of having rules if they aren't carried out? I don't like defying authority and running rampant without anything to keep it in check. I crave structure and consistency.

 

- Does being a brat feel like an insult to you? Does it feel like a playful term, or something you are proud of? 

It does feel like an insult due to my own background and upbringing. I'm trying to broaden my perspective for myself to let go of the negative conations that me being a brat = me being a bad person. Just in case someone does call me brat so that it doesn't shut me down by mistake. The "playful" term I like to call being witty and teasing. Because that I do have and enjoy! 😛

Edited December 31, 2023 by Andriel_Isilien
spelling error

[Fairy Baby]

- Are you a brat ? 

I'm not. I'm a spoiled princess and I get pouty sometimes when Daddy says no, but I'm not bratty

- What do you consider bratty behavior / a brat ?

Throwing tantrums, disobeying to get reactions, pushing buttons for fun, being a mix of sarcastic/witty/rude/playful

- Do you expect your bratty behavior to be punished or something that your caregiver lets slide , or maybe a mixture of both ? 

I think I'd probably get punished. Daddy doesn't like bratty behaviour. He'd say I'm just being disrespectful. He prefers when I'm obedient. Also it makes his life easier lol

 

- Is being a brat something that is full time behavior , something engraved into someone’s being , or somewhere in between ?

I don't know because I'm not one. I'm sure it's different for everyone but I bet most people are somewhere in between

 

- Do you believe that letting bratty behavior go unpunished can cause toxic or unhealthy habits ? 

Again it depends on the individual, but I think it's very possible 

- Does being a brat feel like an insult to you ? Does it feel like a playful term , or something you are proud of ?

Neutral. I don't perceive it as an insult, but I don't act bratty and don't identify as one so I wouldn't like to be called that

[LittleBunnyCici]

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- Are you a brat ?

Well, I'm a girl from New York.

Which means I have a loud mouth, firm opinions, and not a single ounce of shame or fear of any Man in my body so...yes. 😂

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- What do you consider bratty behavior / a brat ?

The specific details, I think, are going to be different between one relationship's dynamic to the next. For example, I'm very much the "make me :P" and punishment-pushing type when I'm feeling spicy, but not so much the "you're a dummy" tsundere trope, but both could be considered bratty behavior.

I am going to push back a little on the idea that brattiness has a positive and a negative side to it. A person can certainly not like brattiness for whatever personal reasons and choose not to engage w/ partners who feel differently, but all of these behaviors people are listing aren't really about being a brat, they're about being someone who is acting without regard for other people's feelings and just generally being a shitty partner. We don't ascribe these things as a "negative" side to any other dynamic, and I personally just reject the idea that we should for this one.

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- Do you expect your bratty behavior to be punished or something that your caregiver lets slide , or maybe a mixture of both ?

Both, I suppose. I think there's layers of context here. Sometimes, brattiness is just silly, endearing childishness. Sometimes, it's an involuntary response to stress and my mental health - if you shove your finger into an open wound, of course I'm going to lash out on reflex, even if you didn't cause the wound and you weren't trying to reach for it. Sometimes, I'm just being stubborn or prideful about something. I would like to think that any Caregiver I would get into a dynamic with would have the wisdom to recognize that nuance and react accordingly. Thankfully, all the problematic CG'ers I have had in the past, this hasn't been an issue for me yet lol

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- Is being a brat something that is full time behavior , something engraved into someone’s being , or somewhere in between ?

Well, I guess that depends. I will refer you to the beginning of my comment - I'm a girl from NY 😂 All jokes aside, I do personally identify openly as a brat - sometimes before I even speak to my identity as a little/submissive - and I do that because that sort of independent, trouble-seeking streak is a part of who I am. At the same time, it's not like I can - or would want to - brat 24/7. I guess, yeah, I'm technically a switch, but I'm waaaaaay more closely aligned with submission than dominance and that comes with certain feelings and desires around wanting to make my CG/Dom proud and pleased.

It's very much "there are two wolves inside you," and ends up manifesting in a very particular brand of "I would gladly submit to my CG's authority, but you have to earn that role" in my approach to dynamics and I do not come cheap because I know my worth lmfao

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- Do you believe that letting bratty behavior go unpunished can cause toxic or unhealthy habits ?

Yeeeeeeeees, but in a round-about way that was probably not the way this question was intended lol

I stand by what I said earlier - I don't agree with ascribing a lot of those kinds of toxic or destructive behaviors as being uniquely asdf to being a brat. But I don't think, in the long run, that's really what matters - if someone is being a toxic partner, regardless of their identity or dynamic with their partner, then not acknowledging the harm of that toxic behavior and not dealing with the root cause of it will of course only lead to more of it. And I would be seriously averse to ascribing the sort of work that everyone involved in the relationship needs to do in the face of that as "punishment for bratty behavior" because, in my opinion, doing so both frames the toxic party's responsibility to face and work on their behavior away from them and fully on their partner and treads on some very dangerous, paternalistic ground over something that should be addressed as equal partners in a relationship regardless of dynamic first before you even think about addressing it in your dynamic with whatever power-exchange that may or may not entail for you.

Of course, that all said, there is an "on the other hand" sort of moment here. I mentioned before that, for me personally, there are times when I am/come across as a brat reflexively because I'm unwell and suffering the pressure of stress and poor mental health, and in that way it becomes sort of a cry for help I guess. I didn't grow up in a very emotionally open environment and while I've spent a long time working on undoing the damage that caused, I still sometimes fall into a rut of holding my cards so close to the chest that even *I* don't realize how unwell I've become. That's part of why I said that it's important for me that a CG'er can recognize why I'm "acting out" when it happens, because us missing a sign like that and not addressing what's affecting my mental wellness can definitely lead me to fall back on unhealthy, self-destructive coping mechanisms that I try hard to rise above.

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- Does being a brat feel like an insult to you ? Does it feel like a playful term , or something you are proud of ?

I mean, like, I am of course proud of who I am. But how other people choose to use the term is going to set the tone for whether I feel like they're trying to insult me or not lol My choice to formally identify as a brat isn't just to be absolutely clear that, y'know, I'm going to be bratty, but also because it helps me to weed out the undesirables. I don't let other people pick my fights for me, and when somebody tries to drag you into an argument about the merits of brats or brattiness that's exactly what they're trying to do. I'm way too old for that shit, and I choose my own inner-peace and simply do not fuck with people who don't fuck with me. If someone wants to get up in their own head about what being a brat is or means, or what it says about me, that's their prerogative, but it tells me they aren't worth sharing my time with and that is their loss because I am both full of surprises and a goddamn smokeshow lmfao

[MotoDaddy]

- What do you consider bratty behavior / a brat ?

*i think you hit this one on the head.  There is playful and toxic brats. Sometimes both. 

- Is bratty behavior something you consider endearing , something that is punishable , or both ?

* Both are in need of correction, but the level of correction (if at all) varies to the brat behavior they display. Because there is no other way to put it for myself, brats are too freaking cute, especially when you can tell what they are after and see how far they are willing to push for what they want. Although that would be on the little to no correction needed side of things.

- Is being a brat something that is full time behavior , something engraved into someone’s being , or somewhere in between ? 

* It's definitely something that is driven by the little's personality.  

- Do you believe that letting bratty behavior go unpunished can cause toxic or unhealthy habits ? 

* Yes. As i said above, if i know the game their playing and play along, it could lead to more serious infractions and habits.  So, even though i play along, consequences are still understood when dulled out.

- Do you have a preference between “Brats” , or “Good girls” ?  

* Can I have a mix?  Good girls have their own charm as do brats.  But, I think the best would be a brat with good girl tendencies. 

- Are brats are attractive to you and if so , why ?

* absolutely.  They are literally giving me reasons to spank them 👿  well and I just find the whole interactions to be cute.  The pouting, stubbornness, the whole lot.