MD/Lb - A discussion.

[DaddysMonkey]

🐒💨

Heeeelloo. 

…It’s been a while again , let’s just get into yeah ? 

A subject I often see up for debate , or a common question that is asked within this lifestyle : 

“Why is Md/Lb not as prevalent or seen as often as Dd/Lg ?” 

Due to the nature of this topic being centered on gendered language to begin with ( Mommy Doms / Little Boys ) , that is what I will be using in this discussion. A large part for this is because it stems from straight males seeking straight females for these types of relationships ( or vice versa ) that are the topic of this discussion. Do note , that this implies to anyone who falls under this category if that is how you identify. 

My goal is to have this be an open discussion , for everyone to be able to offer insight , ask questions , and provide answers / opinions. I shall begin with a few of my thoughts as to why Md/Lb is not as prevalent / these community members might have a hard time finding long term love in this lifestyle. 
 

- It seems as though a higher percentage of men prefer to hide this about themselves out of shame / it being a fetish / quick sexual fix rather than a long term lifestyle for them. It makes me think of very professional business men who in secret , hire a Dominatrix to humiliate them. Because this fetish and/or kink is so secretive for them , they are harder to discover. I would imagine this also goes for a high portion of men who are little boys. It’s likely that the little boys are shameful and keep it to themselves rather than seek out partners. Many men feel the pressure and need to be mature , provide , protect and not act childish , especially not around their family or partner. 
* On the other side of that perspective , I put myself in the shoes of someone who might consider themselves a Mommy as a female. There is a lot of pressure on women in society to look young into their old age , and women will shame each other for having partners who are childish and immature. That pressure could in theory deter a lot of women from wanting to be a Mommy. It could make them feel old , or look old in comparison to a younger male counterpart. ( That is , if their partner actually is younger than them. Littles don’t have to be younger than their partner. ) The pressure and judgment of their family and friends seeing that childish parts of the person they choose to be with the could arise. 

- In typical society , Daddy issues in females are seen as fixable and “hot” to males ,  while Mommy issues in males are often seen as weak or it is seen as a red flag for dating. A lot of males that aren’t even in this lifestyle will often stereotype women with “Daddy issues” as freaks , and “hot”. They see it as something that is fixable and that they can guide in order to make themselves the leader in the partnership. A lot of females who are not in this lifestyle will see males with Mommy issues ( whether that be too attached or too detached to their mother ) as childish , or that they will forever be in competition with the males mother , or that they will have to step up and act like a parent to their male counterpart because of their rebellion against female role models. Because of the typically negative stereotypes tied to “Mommy’s boys” , vanilla women will be less likely to be interested in trying this lifestyle and would more likely be turned off by the idea. Whereas vanilla males would be more likely to be  interested in trying the lifestyle as they might think it’s “hot to try”. 

- To continue the theme of societal / gender pressures and preferences , little boys may feel the need to be feminine because of the typical Dd/Lg pressures ( or their own preference ) when a Mommy might just want a masculine little boy. Extremely feminine little boys or what I have seen people label themselves as “sissyboys” littles , is something I have seen grow more and more in my many years in this lifestyle. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with your adult choices , this does not mean that people will accept it or bend their preferences to be with someone. Outside of this forum , I have seen people who label themselves as those sissyboys who are extremely fetishist / sexual about their actions in seeking Mommies when the Mommies have wanted masculine , “typical” little boys. While being a feminine little boy does not mean you fetishize your experience , there is a large portion I have witnessed who do exactly that. In turn , Mommies go into hiding and are very selective with who they conversation with , leaving the “typical” little boys scraping at the air trying to find a sign of life from Mommies. I also take into consideration the curiosity , or pressure little boys might feel to be more feminine as this lifestyle is dominated by Dd/Lg. 99% of websites for this lifestyle are vomiting pink and glitter everywhere , don’t often have sections or areas for little boys , and if they do it typically is not their own secured area but rather has all genders included. Is including all genders in a little are terrible ? No , but it also does not leave room for little boys to be seen on their own when the percentage of them who are put in the open is so small to begin with. 

- Again , in continuance to a theme above.. the people who label themselves as little boys / Mommies but are actually fetishists and not lifestyle community members come into play…. A whole new can of worms is opened. I personally see people in the Cg/L lifestyle (No matter the gender ) in two categories : Fetishists and Lifestylers. In the case of lifestyler little boys / Mommies , they become wholly overshadowed by fetishist little boys / Mommies. Neither is better than the other , but one overshadowing the other would definitely make seeking a partner more difficult in my opinion. I would hope we can all be transparent here and can say we’ve all seen someone jump onto the forum and within hours or days , they are posting poorly written or worded reachings for an immediate partner do do sexual things with them , ( In my experience it’s typically humiliation on the little boys part ) and posting to community members pages asking them to be their mommy , or Mommies immediately blasting men’s pages with messages of “Will you be my baby boy ? “ , when the male is clearly a Daddy … showing the person doesn’t even take the time to read peoples profiles before leeching for little boys to prey on. ( Or is just a scam. ) 

- ^ Which leads to little boys being scammed and / or hurt. With the lack of representation in the lifestyle , perceived lack of Mommies , and yearning to find a partner that they don’t have to hide this part of themselves with.. sadly a lot of little boys can come off as desperate or just are desperate. Following that yearning and desperation is poor judgement and decision making. Whether it is pure naïveté , desperation so deep they lack care for one’s self or others perception of their actions , or playing enough mental gymnastics to convince themselves a scammer is a real Mommy , hurt happens. Can this happen to anyone ? Sure , it’s these are just things that are high on my radar when thinking about this particular niche in this lifestyle. 

- Mommy’s who are lifestylers and not fetishists seem to be less vocal about their being involved in the community. It makes me sad , but it’s very apparent that most of the Mommy’s that end up on sites like this one are either scammers or fetishists. Again , there is nothing wrong with this being a fetishist rather than a lifestyler , but that leaves out a lot of little boys who want a long term Mommy for a partner and not just for sexual pleasure. It’s not to say that there aren’t little boys who are fetishists as well because there definitely are. I just more often see Mommy’s who are scam artists Or are out to humiliate or hurt people when that isn’t their kink. 

- Female Mommies seem to have a higher percentage of lesbians looking for little girls / other presenting gender rather than straight Mommies looking for little boys. I am not sure why this is , it is something I have noticed nonetheless. This would obviously lessen the dating pool for straight male little boys looking for straight female Mommies. 
 

For the time being , these are the talking points that seem most relevant to the topic that I felt would bring some good thought and discussion. I am holding this post brings more questions and knowledge to the topic for transparency , teaching , and understanding. 

 

Edited December 4, 2023 by DaddysMonkey

[LeftyGuitar]

This very well worded and you make a lot of good points. I will say that some LB's do hide this part of themselves about them. I know I did for a good while. Kinda wish I hadn't, I might have found a mommy if I opened up younger, then again with age comes wisdom (assuming your're learning from your mistakes). I also notice that some mommies want a little around their age (talking about bio age, not little age), some may want a younger LB or maybe a older LB. I also feel that DDLG is more known than MDLB because heck, DDLG probably came first in these types of terms or what have you. I mean when you look around you don't really see a lot of MDLB stuff, but DDLG, you can find quite a bit about it.

 

Its also totally fine if this is both a lifestyle and sexual thing for you. It is possible to mix and match these. Though as stated previously, it is ok to have it be a lifestyle thing or a fetish thing. I will say the "sissy boy" thing is not my thing (if its your thing, totally fine, just not for me). However I have seen some mommies that are into it (if fetlife is anything to go by, heh). I also thought about the ABDL thing, but I figure the ABDL is probably better off on its own topic. Since ABDL can be included in with either DDLG or MDLB. Some mommies are into, some aren't. I agree that if a mommy is already posting will you be my baby boy, etc, she is probably a scammer, or very unlikely, depserate herself for a LB. Though I highly doubt this as there are more LB's than mommies, I'd have to assume. 

 

Also, there are different types of mommies. Say for example strict or soft mommies. Sure there are some that are a combo of both, but one can be one or the other. Or maybe there have a different style altogether. Some LB's may want a strict mommy or a soft mommy. Some may want a combo of the two. This is more of a preference thing, but I think it should be noted at least. At the very least perhaps more discussion on MDLB will get more mommies and LB's interested in it.

[beanbean]

So this topic is really interesting too me . And I have really no really knowledge on the subject but some observations.i am switch but my sub side is not little just submissive. I tend to wonder if more male subs crave more submission and be more controlled as you read about things like chastity and such. And I have been in few online relationships as the sub and the women have been far stricter then I was forced r example. I am not saying in every case or anything but the idea seems to be a female led relationship they everything and are really strict I have no idea what i said is relevant or even makes sense outside my head.but i thought i wouldn't try

[Andriel_Isilien]

I have definitely seen the shame on men who act "unmanly" and be the butt end of a joke in society when the woman "wears the pants" in the relationship. I agree that there this stigma marking such traits or preferences as red flags. Sure, that can be true but it's too broad of a brush to paint a gender without context. I have been lectured by family on how unfitting it is for me to be the bread winner rather than my male partner. Yet when the roles are reversed it is suddenly OK or even expected. He's supposed to be "a big boy" yet the same measuring stick isn't extended to me because of my gender/sex? How is that fair? Women can be just as toxic, selfish, abusive, or what have you. Those traits don't respect gender.

Last year on Fet, there was a little boy in the community I was messaging and becoming friends with. Looking back, I'm pretty sure he was straight and interested in a Mommy. I saw from his perspective the strain of him needing to hide his little/baby side. There was so much longing in him to nurture that. He was working in the meteorology field and described how he likes to pretend he is Aang from Avatar the Last Airbender. I LOVED that imagery for him! But he suddenly disappeared, deactivated his account without a word 😢 I still think about him and hope he's doing OK, accepting himself, and so forth. I'm lucky that I don't have to hide being youthful, cute, and soft as much because I'm a girl. That stereotype works for me. I wished boys, nonbinary, genderfluid, could be allowed that too. No one should be told what their needs and strengths "should" be because of gender roles.

Excellent points you made here!👏 I look forward to hearing more what others have to share on this subject. Meanwhile, I'll keep this in mind as I'm in my own community. I greatly appreciate these thought-provoking discussions. 

[LeftyGuitar]

I came across this post again today while searching for MDLB stuff. I wish this topic had taken off. Speaking of MDLB, it seems to be pretty niche in the CG/L world.

[LunaLilac]

There definitely is a stigma of littlespace pretty much exclusively for DD/lg. Looking at images of littlespace accessories and gear its pretty much always with lg models, looking for online groups its weighed heavily to DD/lg. As someone AMAB who has been trying to find my space it felt kind of exclusitory, finding how I've fit in, even trying to nurture my little has been a challenging and confusing time, and even finding a partner hasn't really been something I've had much luck with. Even on places like fet, finding groups that seem more naturally inclusive towards MD/lb has been difficult, and very much outweighed by groups or personals filled with DDs looking for lgs or vice versa, and finding a partner that isn't there to simply take advantage of a lost little seems very skewed.

 

I think it's definitely tied to how we, as a culture traditionally view masculine and feminine roles, and unfortunately its so ingrained if you're not part of the "normal" zeitgeist it's easy to feel alone, or not really ever understand how you fit into this world, and that's scary.

[PrincessCarmilla]

On 12/3/2023 at 9:20 PM, DaddysMonkey said:

 

- Female Mommies seem to have a higher percentage of lesbians looking for little girls / other presenting gender rather than straight Mommies looking for little boys. I am not sure why this is , it is something I have noticed nonetheless. This would obviously lessen the dating pool for straight male little boys looking for straight female Mommies. 

So as a queer woman/little, I believe that I can start to answer this:

When someone comes out as gay, bi, or trans, often times they begin to realize how much society is structured towards heterosexual and gender norms. Men must be strong and provide for the family, women must be soft, caring, and supportive. But when one realizes that they don't fit in with the "heteronormative" standard (all the societal pressures towards beauty, marriage, sex, and conventional family structures), you no longer feel that they apply to you as much.

I cannot tell you how many baby dykes I've seen suddenly stop using makeup, start wearing exclusively pants, and just look (and to a degree act) completely different as soon as they come out. If you ask them why, a common reaction is "why not? It's not like I feel the pressure to attract a guy anymore."

It's also part of why I see so many more poly groups who are queer. The need to conform to the societal expectations just isn't really there as much. Same with sex and BDSM. I swear, the kinkiest people I've ever met have been older bears and lesbians.

So I'm not at all surprised that there's far more lesbian Mommy Dommes. When you no longer feel that you no longer fit in societal expectations towards relationships, you've just given yourself a much bigger excuse to explore the potentials then you might of otherwise had