Do you have a caregiver/dom space and if so, how do you get into it without having a partner?

[Flawda Guy]

I feel like with littles, even if they don't have a partner currently, they can still get into a little space with having stuffies or dressing with a certain aesthetic they like and a bunch of other things as well. 

With being a caregiver/dom I'm not really sure what ways there are to go about this. The only thing I can think of that sort of helps, is wearing good looking business type clothes, as that does fit the commonly associated aesthetic, but that's not really comfortable to do all the time. And also only feels like the tip of the ice berg.

I was just wondering if anyone had any tips on how to get into a "dom space" if such a thing even really exists or is possible without currently being in a cg/l dynamic? 

 

[LittleOceans]

2 minutes ago, gigisweetheart said:

I have so many ideas but I’m a little so I don’t think I should contribute. 😂

This expresses my sentiments exactly!

[Little kaiya]

I talked to my Daddy about your question and His answers is below.

"For me it isn't about clothes or accessories or even having a little, it's just who I am. Whether I'm in a DDlg relationship or not I'm always in a semi dominant headspace and need to make sure I don't apply it to anyone unconsciously. It's easier when I'm in a DDlg relationship as my partner becomes a person with whom I can express my Daddy/Dom traits that are just always part of me everywhere I am."

 

[beanbean]

Yeah I mean I think that it's kinda who we are  just want to help someone even if we don't have a little.i am sure there are times more like this .there was one long stretch we're I tried to sideline it completely 

[Flawda Guy]

6 hours ago, gigisweetheart said:

I have so many ideas but I’m a little so I don’t think I should contribute. 😂

Doesn't matter, if you have any ideas, feel free to share!

[Flawda Guy]

2 hours ago, gigisweetheart said:

Okay so some of my ideas: 

1. Since clothing gets you in the dom headspace, I would suggest going to a good barbershop. I think having someone make you look sharp, and sort of give you some pampering, would tap into the whole “I’m important” feeling. 

2. Volunteering at an animal shelter (if you don’t have pets). That might tap into your caregiver side more than your dom side, but even doing training with some of the tougher big dogs always helps me feel powerful (I’m a little but I like to feel powerful, in control, and strong sometimes too. It makes me feel cool. 🤭)

3. Working out at a gym. Blasting some kickass music and being a beast could help. You can think of it as conditioning for your dom duties. 🏋🏻‍♀️

4. Honestly, sometimes I see men sitting at an outdoor cafe, watching people, and their confidence can make me a little blushy. 🤭 Just existing in the world as a confident dom is noticed by people and that might give you a nice sense of power. ☺️

5. Micro interactions with strangers might help. Go ahead and open doors for people who could use a hand, or offer to do something nice. Maybe small caregiving things throughout the day could help ease some of what you’re feeling. 

6. If you like to write, you can write stories about being a dom. When I write about Daddybot and little Gigi I often feel satisfied and comforted afterward. Imagination is key when coping with being alone. 

7. Find a new hobby like cooking and master it. Mastery in one thing would give anyone a dom boost! I’m fairly certain that most people swoon over anyone who is a master at anything! 😂

I guess just think of the times when you felt like a dom. What specifically did you do with your little and why was that the only time you felt like a dom? 

I don’t know if any of this will help or be relatable but maybe it will give you some ideas. ☺️

These are some really good ideas! Thank you! 

[LittleOceans]

2 hours ago, gigisweetheart said:

Okay so some of my ideas: 

1. Since clothing gets you in the dom headspace, I would suggest going to a good barbershop. I think having someone make you look sharp, and sort of give you some pampering, would tap into the whole “I’m important” feeling. 

2. Volunteering at an animal shelter (if you don’t have pets). That might tap into your caregiver side more than your dom side, but even doing training with some of the tougher big dogs always helps me feel powerful (I’m a little but I like to feel powerful, in control, and strong sometimes too. It makes me feel cool. 🤭)

3. Working out at a gym. Blasting some kickass music and being a beast could help. You can think of it as conditioning for your dom duties. 🏋🏻‍♀️

4. Honestly, sometimes I see men sitting at an outdoor cafe, watching people, and their confidence can make me a little blushy. 🤭 Just existing in the world as a confident dom is noticed by people and that might give you a nice sense of power. ☺️

5. Micro interactions with strangers might help. Go ahead and open doors for people who could use a hand, or offer to do something nice. Maybe small caregiving things throughout the day could help ease some of what you’re feeling. 

6. If you like to write, you can write stories about being a dom. When I write about Daddybot and little Gigi I often feel satisfied and comforted afterward. Imagination is key when coping with being alone. 

7. Find a new hobby like cooking and master it. Mastery in one thing would give anyone a dom boost! I’m fairly certain that most people swoon over anyone who is a master at anything! 😂

I guess just think of the times when you felt like a dom. What specifically did you do with your little and why was that the only time you felt like a dom? 

I don’t know if any of this will help or be relatable but maybe it will give you some ideas. ☺️

Gigi wrote down most of my ideas. Especially the small interaction ones or everyday things that no one but you know what they mean.

I don't know your preferences. These are some things that I have personally come across or have read in my books. Some of the suggestions are based on what my little side does and doesn't like. 

1) Being called Sir by strangers. I know for me, I hate being called ma'am; it makes me shudder. My mindset is too young for that. Try doing things that would have people call you Sir.

2) Interacting with friends or family (platonicly) in a nurturing manner, if possible. My biological mother knows everything about my life, and though she isn't in the BDSM community whatsoever, she will interact with my little side. We watch cartoons together and we silly dance around the house to music, those kinds of things. 

3) Similar to Gigi's #6, but Roleplay. I created a playpen here on the forum. My friends and I play pretend on the forum. We go haywire with the candy or have cartoon days, arts and crafts days, or anything our little heart desires. We have found a place to be our little self in a safe place. 

I hope these can give ideas, even if they can't be applied to you. 

[Flawda Guy]

20 minutes ago, gigisweetheart said:

I thought of one more: creating dom or ddlg content on social media (stories, shorts, posts). I bet a lot of littles and people would like the content and you might feel a boost from the interaction. 😊

I want to do this, but I tried before and thought I was kinda cringe lol 

[Suzette]

I'm feel empty, alone and lost without my Daddy dom !

[MotoDaddy]

On 11/13/2023 at 10:51 PM, gigisweetheart said:

I have so many ideas but I’m a little so I don’t think I should contribute. 😂

 

Edited February 26, 2024 by MotoDaddy
One must read all the posts before replying lmao

[MotoDaddy]

So, there are times when I'm reading some of the Little posts and I get into "Daddy space". Partly because some of you are just too freaking adorable for your own good and the other is it allows me to chime in with my innate daddy personality.  I agree with beanbean.  Being a daddy is just who I am 🤷‍♂️ I'm assertive, protective, domineering and supportive on a daily basis.  So, I guess I just never leave daddy space? I live it

[Pink Star Bubble Sky]

On 11/14/2023 at 4:08 PM, gigisweetheart said:

Okay so some of my ideas: 

1. Since clothing gets you in the dom headspace, I would suggest going to a good barbershop. I think having someone make you look sharp, and sort of give you some pampering, would tap into the whole “I’m important” feeling. 

2. Volunteering at an animal shelter (if you don’t have pets). That might tap into your caregiver side more than your dom side, but even doing training with some of the tougher big dogs always helps me feel powerful (I’m a little but I like to feel powerful, in control, and strong sometimes too. It makes me feel cool. 🤭)

3. Working out at a gym. Blasting some kickass music and being a beast could help. You can think of it as conditioning for your dom duties. 🏋🏻‍♀️

4. Honestly, sometimes I see men sitting at an outdoor cafe, watching people, and their confidence can make me a little blushy. 🤭 Just existing in the world as a confident dom is noticed by people and that might give you a nice sense of power. ☺️

5. Micro interactions with strangers might help. Go ahead and open doors for people who could use a hand, or offer to do something nice. Maybe small caregiving things throughout the day could help ease some of what you’re feeling. 

6. If you like to write, you can write stories about being a dom. When I write about Daddybot and little Gigi I often feel satisfied and comforted afterward. Imagination is key when coping with being alone. 

7. Find a new hobby like cooking and master it. Mastery in one thing would give anyone a dom boost! I’m fairly certain that most people swoon over anyone who is a master at anything! 😂

I guess just think of the times when you felt like a dom. What specifically did you do with your little and why was that the only time you felt like a dom? 

I don’t know if any of this will help or be relatable but maybe it will give you some ideas. ☺️

I'm not even a Dom and this made me feel more powerful 😂💖I'm just a little but I think these are awesome ideas!! 

Also would even consider these to be kinda like self care ideas for men overall whether they're a Dom or not, these things can also help you to build confidence in yourself.

I think it's so important for men to have options and resources for self care because lets be honest it was never traditional for men to have outlets to express themselves. Even like @idksomename said, littles have so many ways to get into that head space but what about the doms? 

[FillYouWithMe]

As a switch, I find this to be a really interesting topic. I've been batting around ideas in my head, and the fact that some people just are Doms.

For me, I feel like my headspace is just Neutral. Not Dominant, not Submissive, just baseline human. I can do a lot of Dominant things while I'm like this, but I don't define them as Dominant acts, more as part of the things that make us human. I can raise my voice and be more assertive / direct.. But, to me at least, that's the different between talking to my friends and ordering at a restaurant. I can do a lot of the caregiver things, like holding people while they cry or trying to give comfort to those who are in distress, but I think that's an important part of the having a society built upon empathy. I can even sometimes be the confident extrovert when I'm out with people, but that tends to be reserved for when everyone else I'm with is wanting to take the backseat and let me handle things. Maybe these situations are their own forms of Micro-Domming?

But, in my experience, the headspace I have is the one that I invoke upon myself. I can be the shy and quiet Little/Middle who waits for his turn to talk, I can be the nurturing, supportive Daddy who's here to take care of all your troubles and remind you that you're special, or I can be the rough forceful Dom that puts you in your place and reminds you who is in charge here. It all just depends on who I'm around, and what our relationship is.

So, the TL;DR would be: For me, it's easiest done with company that fits into that niche that gets you there. Doesn't have to be a partner, but friends and family who put you in that position with a more platonic feel.