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Finding myself


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Posted

Finding myself is never easy. Don’t get me wrong I know who i am. But when stepping out of my comfort zone into new spaces with new people, new interests especially those I know very little about is challenging - questions arise as to who am I, what am I looking for , who am I looking for , will I fit in with them, will they fit in with me. Will I chase something that isn’t there with someone that isn’t there. Ofcourse I will and that is part of finding me. I will make poor choices and invest in people that won’t value me as a person, a Dom or friend. 

Posted

So when you find people and situations where you give yourself up, you find yourself in the end?

Posted
2 hours ago, LittleOceans said:

So when you find people and situations where you give yourself up, you find yourself in the end?

I guess so, I certainly learn a lot about me in those situations.

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Posted

I think being uncomfortable is such a hard thing to but can be so beneficial to our growth as humans but yeah it can be so hard but so Worth it. So yes explore things even if they seem a little scary

 

Posted

So, should we look for the uncomfortable when looking for the person that will be yours? Or do we look for the comfortable? Or is it a mix of both? 

Posted
1 hour ago, LittleOceans said:

So, should we look for the uncomfortable when looking for the person that will be yours? Or do we look for the comfortable? Or is it a mix of both? 

I don't know if looking for the uncomfortable is the right word but when looking for a partner uncomfortable questions are needed for sure ask all the questions 

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Posted
On 10/27/2023 at 5:19 AM, Jack Scorp said:

Finding myself is never easy. Don’t get me wrong I know who i am. But when stepping out of my comfort zone into new spaces with new people, new interests especially those I know very little about is challenging - questions arise as to who am I, what am I looking for , who am I looking for , will I fit in with them, will they fit in with me. Will I chase something that isn’t there with someone that isn’t there. Ofcourse I will and that is part of finding me. I will make poor choices and invest in people that won’t value me as a person, a Dom or friend. 

Um, I found a good article for this, is you wanna read it? Here is a good quote from it, if you don't wanna:

"In the phrase [“to find myself”] lurks the idea that the self is a pre-existing entity, a self like a Platonic idea existing in a mystic realm beyond time and change. No, rather an object like a nugget of gold in the placer pan, the Easter egg under the bush at an Easter-egg hunt, a four-leaf clover to promise miraculous luck. Here is the essence of passivity, one’s quintessential luck. And the essence of absurdity, too, for the self is never to be found, but must be created, not the happy accident of passivity, but the product of a thousand actions, large and small, conscious or unconscious, performed not “away from it all,” but in the face of “it all,” for better or for worse, in work and leisure rather than in free time." - Daniel Gilbert

https://www.themarginalian.org/2017/06/07/robert-penn-warren-democracy-poetry-finding-yourself/
 

It's so good you do new things. It is also good when you do the same old thing. You're doing a good job! :) 

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Posted

So well written, you remind me of someone I know.  I find him so intriguing, I think about him throughout my busy day and can’t wait to get back to him. Sometimes I dream about being where he is instead of where I am.  And although I’ve been busy, I hope he never feels like I don’t value him as a friend, dom or person because I actually am starting to think the world of him. But reading your words made me sad, I’m sure whoever the person will be they will see all of your worth.  We are sometimes like two ships passing in the night but there isn’t another ship I’d rather be passing, hopefully one of these days we can both drop our anchors and enjoy one another.  Be gentle on yourself Jack and patient with yourself.  I guess we never know what someone else is experiencing or their level of fear or anxiety and sometimes people even hold back their excitement for fear something is to good to be true.  I know sometimes I think that about him, and then I think what if I’m the one that ends up being not good enough for him and I hide myself to the point where I avoid him.  Hopefully I’ll be able to eventually trust him with me.  I want to trust him with me.  I want to jump in the sea with him and just be free! I hope you find you and the her you are looking for!!!!

Posted

Looking at the idea of comfort and discomfort in a partner/relationship. I am learning and relearning that sometimes what feels comfortable, what feels like home can sometimes be something harmful to us, because it feels like what we know of 'love' either in childhood or a previous partner, it feels familiar and we were told it was love. Relearning what is healthy for me feels uncomfortable at times but is really needed to get to a place I can really be me and fully loved for being me.

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Posted
1 hour ago, Redbottompunkin said:

So well written, you remind me of someone I know.  I find him so intriguing, I think about him throughout my busy day and can’t wait to get back to him. Sometimes I dream about being where he is instead of where I am.  And although I’ve been busy, I hope he never feels like I don’t value him as a friend, dom or person because I actually am starting to think the world of him. But reading your words made me sad, I’m sure whoever the person will be they will see all of your worth.  We are sometimes like two ships passing in the night but there isn’t another ship I’d rather be passing, hopefully one of these days we can both drop our anchors and enjoy one another.  Be gentle on yourself Jack and patient with yourself.  I guess we never know what someone else is experiencing or their level of fear or anxiety and sometimes people even hold back their excitement for fear something is to good to be true.  I know sometimes I think that about him, and then I think what if I’m the one that ends up being not good enough for him and I hide myself to the point where I avoid him.  Hopefully I’ll be able to eventually trust him with me.  I want to trust him with me.  I want to jump in the sea with him and just be free! I hope you find you and the her you are looking for!!!!

I like how this reads, Thankyou for sharing.

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