Head vs Heart

[little locket]

Hey

I'm sure lots of littles feel this but my big mind keeps overruling my little.

Part of me would really like to find a daddy, I often find myself looking at the 'personals' section, but my big mind keeps over ruling so I never do anything. Past hurts from relationships and online dating have left me constantly sceptical and feeling defensive, so my big side always kicks in when I think about even trying to talk to a daddy. 

But my little keeps yearning and pushing. I love this site and really enjoy all the Little chats and letting my little side out, but the more I do the stronger the yearning gets. My feelings feel all mixed up, I feel defensive and rebellious and shy and confused all at the same time. 

[LittleOceans]

I am right there with you, Locket!!!

My little yearns for the care, structure, and safety she thinks a daddy could bring, but then my big hurts and defenses rise, and I am back to shunning romantic relationships. In my little space, I find myself in the personals section, even thinking of making one, and I don't want to do that. I have no clue what I could offer someone. Let alone trust someone. 

I'm at war with myself every day. I've made a pact with myself that I can make friends with anyone who wants, but I won't actively look for my dada. That is too scary; if someone comes along and it works, great.

I am completely there with you. 

[little locket]

I'm glad I'm not the only one, its so hard battling myself sometimes. 

But I'm not gonna do a personal, I'll see what happens without one. Daddies still seem to contact me even though I've not done a personal. 

[blingsing]

I was the same as you both. But I had a long think about it. Being a little alone I kinda felt like an orphan. I know secret soothers, discreetly innocent clothing and cuddly toys bring an ironic joke if anyone see it, isn't going to cut it for me anymore. I was doing those things for years on my own without realising that you were all out there in the world. And now I know and thr longer i observe rhe sites, I'm obsessed. 

I answered an ad the other day. And he seems nice. We'll see...starting something new is scary. But he's nervous too. He keeps checking that what he's saying is OK. And that I am still interested in talking to him.

So maybe instead of someone approaching you, which can be unnerving particularly if you haven't put yourself out to be approached. Maybe look to someone who is standing up and saying please choose me. 

This is early days. For me with my new friend. He's not my Daddy yet. But if it doesn't workout, I will 100% be looking again. 

I know what I want now and I'm not prepared to spend the next 30 years wishing for something that could be within reach.

[LittleOceans]

@blingsing Wow I read your reply and you’re so brave! You make really good points too. Waiting for life to happen is safe but lonely and are you really living at that point? Thank you for the food for thought. 

[blingsing]

We spoke every evening for about an hour. Texts every morning. So much in common and the day before we were to meet he backed out. He said I was lovely and deserves someone who can give more of their time. That's an excuse. I knew he lives hours away and comes to the city a few times a month. Really he lost his nerve. Ohh well. 

[little locket]

I'm sorry it didn't work out @blingsing, I'm sure the right daddy is out there.  We'z juat got to be patient 😁 the right one will fine you and the other just lost out of someone great. 

[Wikkd]

I'm  a bit different  yet the same, I lost my Daddy last year and it will always hurt. I only make friend zone post but i read the personals cos idk if I'm ready for a new Daddy. The other day I put on my big girl pants and purposely made a new friend. So far it's  been wonderful and we'll  see where it goes but either way he will definitely always bring a smile to my face 😁

[Lil Nickolas]

Not sure if its the same, but I feel my little side constantly fighting my cg/adult side. I always felt this overwelming pressure to be the adult around everyone, to the point that anything childish in me is bottled up, and only recently have I really been able to let myself experience my littleness. I still find it hard to sometimes just let myself be this way. Part of my joining this forum was because I knew if i didnt try to explore it, i would always regret it, and baby steps like this help me feel like im making some sort of progress. ... also its kinda liberating and scary posting things on the internet

[blingsing]

15 hours ago, little locket said:

I'm sorry it didn't work out @blingsing, I'm sure the right daddy is out there.  We'z juat got to be patient 😁 the right one will fine you and the other just lost out of someone great. 

Thanks littlelocket, patience was never my strength!