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Kink, Lifestyle and Experience


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Posted (edited)

I started an adventure with DDLG/Caregiving starting in 2006. I was in my 20s and was with a partner who was a Subby and Middle. We lived together and I was learning about being a Daddy. I spent hours with them trying to get them to do things the way I thought it should be done. It didn't work. They weren't interested in it that way and no amount of rules were going to make them happy. They wanted to be literally forced to follow a set of rules cause that's what they were use to. I couldn't understand anyone that would require this kind of approach and I utterly failed to properly CareGive for them or help them with their impulsive nature.

I have helped raised people growing up as I lived in a big household. I have had to be an adult young so I learned a lot of techniques in how to make people get along and I found something out about myself and people, it's really hard to force someone to be the kind "person you want them to be, if not virtually impossible!" 

In DDLG everyone has a Blanket expectation that they should be treated all the same way when that's not how it works. The real fact of the matter everyone approaches it differently and you shouldn't judge them. Age is a huge factor and youth has the strength but lacks the wisdom generally to approach it properly. Plus younger people are less likely to know precisely what they want and may change their mind down the road.

I have tried numerous on-line relationships and a vast majority of them want someone to Call Daddy cause it's Kinky. It's fun... And it makes them feel excited like they're with someone that is wrong. These same people later say they could never meet cause they could never tell the world about their dark kinky side and that would be admitting to it. These same people on a phone call/text message will swear their love and loyalty to you up and down but they really want to keep this stuff in the bedroom. Often they change their ideas... they entirely don't want this type of relationship then and always just thought it was an aphrodisiac or something cute like a pair of cute socks.

I put this out there cause a lot of people get really tied up in this "lifestyle" quote ... and in reality most people don't realize that the truth is that most don't know what they're getting into. There are also people who are extremely devoted to this kind of lifestyle and or think it's something you may not think it is. But nobody is right and nobody is wrong, everyone just shares their opinion and you should respect that. All the whispers of fake this or slutty that is really insulting. It's just the way you see it, doesn't make it wrong it just makes it what it is...The Reality!

 

People fearmonger as well, that ohhh you shouldn't trust anyone! You should totally be afraid of everyone and I constantly see on here where people will never take it to the next level. Why would you bother looking for something if you don't want explore? :: shrugs :: mine as well just stay to RolePlay which is perfectly fine and safe. Not everyone is mature or ready for a relationship on any level.

 

Edited by VSoftDaddyDomV
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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

My apologies to you @VSoftDaddyDomV for the lack of decorum shown here.

Everything not pertaining directly to the OP or that was seen as unnecessary has been removed. 

We will respect the OP and the thread by staying on track.

If you have nothing to add value to the conversation or some helpful insight for the OP just keep scrolling.

What we will not do is derail a member's topic and try to see who can be the alpha. 

Now carry on. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us..A lot of what you said resonated with me. 

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Posted

I think something that is beautiful about people is the culture they create between one another. I really agree that it's important not to judge others and how they go about their business.

So much of this all is about consent between agreeing parties, i.e. the culture they are creating for themselves and whoever else is involved. It's a meeting of minds and bodies and values and all the things in between. If you're not an agreeing party and you don't consent, then you're not part of the culture. Rather than attacking it as an 'other,' it's best to respect it. It'll exist whether you want it to or not, frankly. 

This was an interesting post, thank you for sharing your thoughts. 

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