Little/Middle space? Help, ideas to be free to act younger?

[Guest LiLBABIFox]

Hi, so not so newbie-but I guess newbie here. I've done research, I've read books and am still in the process of learning. My fiance is my Daddy and I am happy with him and have no problems with our relationship aspect. My problem is getting into a headspace to play. 

I dont naturally regress that I know of. I find it extremely hard to relax into a comfortable mind-frame where I can just act like the kid inside that's craving to come out. Unless it's absolutely natural, like when I'm interacting with my partner who I do refer to and see as Daddy- I slip into that younger submissive headspace. Automatically...he's Daddy, I listen to Daddy, I love him it's easy to be myself with him no problem. 

Yet, when I want to play and relax by myself I find I just can't. 

I look at dolls, remember how much I loved playing with them and how I had so many creative ideas and games, but that was before I couldn't play with them anymore. Like that automatic grown up thought fights the little side, your grown dolls aren't for grownups. 

I have a paci but rarely ever use it, even though it's still so comforting. 

I know it's psychological, but there's a block.    Maybe fear of judgement? 

It's the same thing with my crafts. I enjoy my crafts, I love making things but am so critical of myself that I still just can't. 

So what do you do, I guess is the question, to relax enough that the headspace just kicks in and your not afraid of just being you. What are your routines? Any help or advice is useful and thank you ahead of time 

 

Edited August 14, 2023 by LiLBABIFox

[Valisia]

I may be an oddity since I tend to stay in little space 24/7. Harder for me to be an adult over.

Youc could try carrying around your fave stuffie. Watching tv, coloring, eating, etc with it. Play blocks (legos or bigger) or even have a conference of Littles with tea.

 

Usually having that second person with you (in this case a stuffie) helps tremendously in getting over in mental blocks since it helps you feel your not alone in this. Not sure if it is the best advice out there but it is a start and may help you get to that space a bit easier overall ❤️

[CodeName: Trouble]

Hullo!

Do you have any pets? Or a favorite stuffie like @Valisia said? Something that really helps me get into little space is narrating my actions to, or in some way incorporating my pets or stuffies. Reading them little books, playing dress up together, or explaining the crafts or activities I'm doing to them. Talking to and interacting with them gives me a very little feeling and helps me focus on the activity and all the little things that go into it instead of being stuck in my own head.

Getting back into playing things like dolls can be pretty tricky - a tip I have heard with this is to just force yourself to do it. You could use your dolls or toys to act out scenes from a movie or a book - or maybe just dress them up in different outfits. It will probably take time though to unlock your comfort with all that again and unlearn the anti-play mindset of adulthood. Practice makes perfect!

I think it's usually easier for me to start by play with things like legos, making a fun little friendly snack, painting or videogames which have more structure than some other forms of pretend/imagination play - but that is personal preference. Imagination play like dolls, action figures, animal figures, and smaller kid crafts like coloring I save for deeper little space and that takes some build up for me to get into. 

A huge little space trigger for me is getting treated small by my daddy/friends. To help get myself into little space independently I'll often set up little appropriate activities and snacks for myself and then loosely restrict myself to those things for a certain timeframe. I can then tell myself "no trouble, you're too little for that. You'll just have to sit and play with your legos and eat animal crackers right now. The big world can wait for later". Having that designated time while telling my little-self reaffirming statements can help me relax. Even if I dont end up get into little space it's still a fun relaxing time. Maybe doing something similar or even having your daddy help set up a little afternoon for you to enjoy independently would help because you'd know you have his approval?

Sorry if this is kind of a ramble 😅

This is something I know allot of us struggle with, unlearning that fear/anxiety/block takes time. However I also think there is a lot of unnecessary pressure on littles to 'play' and what that's supposed to look like.  Not all littles will want to play the same way, just like not all kids will ✨👾✨Many children even 'play' by pretending to do adult activities like cleaning, cooking, caring for stuffies like pets, or just singing and hopping around. I think doing everyday activities or hobbies can also be a satisfying form of play for some littles and it all depends on mindset and preferences. This often doesn't fit the little fantasy though, but whatever ends up working for you is perfect.

I still struggle with this stuff too, but these are the things that have helped me a bit anyway... I'm interested to see what other people have to say!

Good luck!

[Daddylunababy]

On 8/14/2023 at 5:31 PM, CodeName: Trouble said:

Hullo!

Do you have any pets? Or a favorite stuffie like @Valisia said? Something that really helps me get into little space is narrating my actions to, or in some way incorporating my pets or stuffies. Reading them little books, playing dress up together, or explaining the crafts or activities I'm doing to them. Talking to and interacting with them gives me a very little feeling and helps me focus on the activity and all the little things that go into it instead of being stuck in my own head.

Getting back into playing things like dolls can be pretty tricky - a tip I have heard with this is to just force yourself to do it. You could use your dolls or toys to act out scenes from a movie or a book - or maybe just dress them up in different outfits. It will probably take time though to unlock your comfort with all that again and unlearn the anti-play mindset of adulthood. Practice makes perfect!

I think it's usually easier for me to start by play with things like legos, making a fun little friendly snack, painting or videogames which have more structure than some other forms of pretend/imagination play - but that is personal preference. Imagination play like dolls, action figures, animal figures, and smaller kid crafts like coloring I save for deeper little space and that takes some build up for me to get into. 

A huge little space trigger for me is getting treated small by my daddy/friends. To help get myself into little space independently I'll often set up little appropriate activities and snacks for myself and then loosely restrict myself to those things for a certain timeframe. I can then tell myself "no trouble, you're too little for that. You'll just have to sit and play with your legos and eat animal crackers right now. The big world can wait for later". Having that designated time while telling my little-self reaffirming statements can help me relax. Even if I dont end up get into little space it's still a fun relaxing time. Maybe doing something similar or even having your daddy help set up a little afternoon for you to enjoy independently would help because you'd know you have his approval?

Sorry if this is kind of a ramble 😅

This is something I know allot of us struggle with, unlearning that fear/anxiety/block takes time. However I also think there is a lot of unnecessary pressure on littles to 'play' and what that's supposed to look like.  Not all littles will want to play the same way, just like not all kids will ✨👾✨Many children even 'play' by pretending to do adult activities like cleaning, cooking, caring for stuffies like pets, or just singing and hopping around. I think doing everyday activities or hobbies can also be a satisfying form of play for some littles and it all depends on mindset and preferences. This often doesn't fit the little fantasy though, but whatever ends up working for you is perfect.

I still struggle with this stuff too, but these are the things that have helped me a bit anyway... I'm interested to see what other people have to say!

Good luck!

@CodeName: TroubleThis is some very good advice.  Thank you.

[PennyGoodfellow]

I agree with @CodeName: Troubleon this one. Even years later I still struggle with imagination play. 

One of the things I've found that helps me is to *not* use dolls and toys right away. I need a magic wand? That wooden spoon in the kitchen will do. I think I find there's more pressure to "perform" and "act" little when I have a set of toys, versus when I'm just finding a rock or stick outside. 

It helps with imagination play, and makes it feel a little more organic compared to sitting down with a pile of stuffies and going "ok, now what?" 

[Daddylunababy]

I think there’s something to the idea that getting into littlespace/regressing (at least for some) is going to require not necessarily *work*, but effort.  For too long, my wife-little and I seemed to almost expect that some sort of magical trigger would present itself.  We’re going to try to be more purposeful going forward.

It’s a fine line.  Being little shouldn’t be a burdensome obligation, but many good things don’t come easily, on the other hand.

[PennyGoodfellow]

Agreed! Littlespace/Middlespace shouldn't necessarily become another chore on the To-Do list, but it also does take some practice to unlearn a lot of the societal conditioning we've undergone to become functional adults. 

[Guest LiLBABIFox]

1 hour ago, PennyGoodfellow said:

I agree with @CodeName: Troubleon this one. Even years later I still struggle with imagination play. 

One of the things I've found that helps me is to *not* use dolls and toys right away. I need a magic wand? That wooden spoon in the kitchen will do. I think I find there's more pressure to "perform" and "act" little when I have a set of toys, versus when I'm just finding a rock or stick outside. 

It helps with imagination play, and makes it feel a little more organic compared to sitting down with a pile of stuffies and going "ok, now what?" 

I love this idea 😁

[Andriel_Isilien]

I started a discussion thread in the club Knowledge Is Power on "Tips to Feel Little". See if any ideas appeal to you!