Is CGL and DDLG different? is being a Little and Age Regressor different?

[Guest bubudabu]

I just found out recently that CGL and DDLG might not be the same thing?

Someone told me that DDLG is more of a kink while CGL is more of a dynamic. So i've been confused and questioning myself all over again. Because i thought i'm a little but this person said that a little is for someone who likes to act like a kid in DDLG. Whereas for me, it's not that i "like" to act as a kid, it's just that it's a part of who i am that i can't control? it's like, i age regressed 24/7, but in public setting or in front of others, i mask myself so well and make my adult side fronting. But even in the public especially when no one i know is talking to me, i go back age regressing. Apparently that makes me an age regressor instead of a little?

And i don't really have little space where i can go to whenever i want. I involuntarily age regressed 24/7. And it's not that i want to act like a child but i BELIEVE that I am a child. I never identify myself as an adult. Always been a kid and will always be a kid no matter what everybody told me. So adult side of me is not really in control or even a true part of me, it's a "pretentious" part of me that i create to mask myself so well in society.

I'm also asexual and uncomfortable with anything sexual, and i want to have a partner that is mostly sfw.. but the other thing is that for me i never really experience "romantic" love. All i've been ever experience is "platonic" love, or attachment and obsession (because of my BPD). And maybe it makes sense because a child can't really have a romantic feeling like adults do? 

But i do have this big space of heart for a parental figure that i would love so much and somehow i don't really mind whether i love this person romantically or platonically, because i don't really understand how to love someone romantically? 

My biggest dream has always been to have a parent or parents. To be adopted. Even at the age of 22 i still really longing for that. So my biggest dream isn't really to find a romantic partner that can care to me the way parents do. But it's more like i want a parental figure that can look after me genuinely without ill intentions? does that make sense?

So the person i talked to in the past said that, that means i'm more into a CGL itself more than DDLG. And that i am more of an age regressor instead of a Little.  What do you guys think? 

Also is it normal that when i'm age regressing, it feels like i'm a different person from my adult side even though we are technically the same person, but my adult side is more like an alter that i create to protect myself during hard times and to blend in society but since i mostly age regressed almost 24/7, it feels that my adult side is trapped inside a glass case not being able to break free to control myself from choosing bad decision and being taken advantage of by adults since i'm a kid who do not understand anything?

It's like.. we share the same brain.. same memory.. but sometimes the memory feels blurry to one another... adult side of me are aware when the age regression part of me making fatal mistakes but unable to stop her...

Edited August 11, 2023 by bubudabu

[Vampiress]

CG/l is just the gender neutral term for DD/lg, but is pretty much the same thing. Being an age regressor, into CG/l, ageplay, or ABDL are all different though (though I'd probably argue ABDL is a specific form of ageplay). It's normal to get terms confused. There's so many different kinds of littles and terms floating around, and people constantly mix them up and use them incorrectly so there's always debates on what it actually means.

I cannot answer questions about age regression because I am not a regressor, however I do have some videos that I usually bring up when this topic comes up with people who don't know much about it. I hope these videos can help you define what these words mean and how they are different and similar.

Do not take the last video as her bashing on age play. It's actually her explaining what are some things people do wrong with ageplay, you can skip that one if you want to but I think it is a good video. The first three are definitely relevant to your topic. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest bubudabu]

Thank you so much for your comment and thank you so much for providing the videos!! it's really helpful i really appreciate this 🥺🥺

[SmolFry]

bubudabu…I’m so glad you brought up this topic, thank you! Reading these comments, and watching the videos that Vampiress kindly provided, has helped clear up some things for me personally as well. I have more to learn about DDlg and about myself than I realized. Knowing that certain things that I thought were synonymous are actually separate, makes so many things make so much more sense now (Even if all the terms did scramble my brain for a minute 😂) 

[CherryBlossomTea]

From my understanding, the simplest difference between CG/l and DDlg is that there doesn't necessarily have to include an element of Dominance and submission in the CG/l dynamic, where it is more focused on the role of one who provides care and a little one who receives the care.. whereas "Daddy Dom" implies a Dominant role, etc. 

[MysticSand]

2 hours ago, CherryBlossomTea said:

From my understanding, the simplest difference between CG/l and DDlg is that there doesn't necessarily have to include an element of Dominance and submission in the CG/l dynamic, where it is more focused on the role of one who provides care and a little one who receives the care.. whereas "Daddy Dom" implies a Dominant role, etc. 

I think I agree with this so much!!! I was just thinking about this today and how or if the "Daddy/Mommy" identity differs from a "caregiver" role. I very solidly identify as a caregiver and not as a mommy and I think a large reason for that is that I want to provide care, and not necessarily have the same hierarchy that one with a daddy/mommy title might.

I also recently am doing research and coming to terms with being Ace and am thinking that maybe I'm pan-romantic. The way I'm understanding "romantic" love at the moment is that it is similar to wanting to have those cheesy Rom Com moments where the girl gets surprised by flowers or the guy does something really cute grand gesture to show his devotion (like playing a bluetooth speaker outside the girl's window?). So I think you're right in that you're not looking for "romantic" love.

My understanding of "platonic" love is that you have a strong desire to be friends with someone. It doesn't seem like this is the type of love you're seeking out either.

I'm not sure how to answer your question on whether you're age regressing and whether a DDLG or CGL relationship would you suit more, Bububadu. But again for me and how I define being a caregiver compared to a daddy/mommy, it might be something for you to try and seek out a CGL relationship if that CG also defines it how I do.

But it also sounds like you've had some bad experiences with adults taking advantage of your Little side, in which case it may not at all be about looking specifically for a daddy, mommy, or caregiver, but that you find someone who's willing to give you the care and comfort that you need regardless of title. 

[Guest bubudabu]

6 hours ago, CherryBlossomTea said:

From my understanding, the simplest difference between CG/l and DDlg is that there doesn't necessarily have to include an element of Dominance and submission in the CG/l dynamic, where it is more focused on the role of one who provides care and a little one who receives the care.. whereas "Daddy Dom" implies a Dominant role, etc. 

That's what i thought too!! 😮 thank you so much for responding my topic and bringing your insight into this!! :3

[Guest bubudabu]

6 hours ago, MysticSand said:

I think I agree with this so much!!! I was just thinking about this today and how or if the "Daddy/Mommy" identity differs from a "caregiver" role. I very solidly identify as a caregiver and not as a mommy and I think a large reason for that is that I want to provide care, and not necessarily have the same hierarchy that one with a daddy/mommy title might.

I also recently am doing research and coming to terms with being Ace and am thinking that maybe I'm pan-romantic. The way I'm understanding "romantic" love at the moment is that it is similar to wanting to have those cheesy Rom Com moments where the girl gets surprised by flowers or the guy does something really cute grand gesture to show his devotion (like playing a bluetooth speaker outside the girl's window?). So I think you're right in that you're not looking for "romantic" love.

My understanding of "platonic" love is that you have a strong desire to be friends with someone. It doesn't seem like this is the type of love you're seeking out either.

I'm not sure how to answer your question on whether you're age regressing and whether a DDLG or CGL relationship would you suit more, Bububadu. But again for me and how I define being a caregiver compared to a daddy/mommy, it might be something for you to try and seek out a CGL relationship if that CG also defines it how I do.

But it also sounds like you've had some bad experiences with adults taking advantage of your Little side, in which case it may not at all be about looking specifically for a daddy, mommy, or caregiver, but that you find someone who's willing to give you the care and comfort that you need regardless of title. 

Ahh i see!!! thank you so much for responding to my topic and bringing more insight into this :3 that's interesting! i think you're right, CGL is more like a caregiver wanting to provide care to the litte and doesn't necessarily have the same hierarchy that one with a daddy/mommy title might >.<

Ahh right hmmm... that's interesting how you see the term romantic love mean.. but i still don't get it how someone can fall in love with someone owo like i do want to have those cheesy romcom moments but it's more because i'm a hopeless romantic but i'm also aromantic and it's weird.. T_T but also more than anything i just want to be taken care of owo

Hmmm a strong desire to be friends someone... yeah that's not really the type of love i'm seeking out either indeed.. T^T

Right right!! that's true!! maybe i should find a CG that define themselves the way you define yourself!! >w<

Right.. that's very true i do have bad experiences with adults taking advantages of my little side T^T that's true.. maybe i don't have to specifically look for daddy or mommy or caregiver but more about finding someone who's willing to give me the care and comfort that i need regardless of title...!! thank you so much!! this is very helpful!!! >w<

[MysticSand]

On 8/20/2023 at 5:25 AM, bubudabu said:

Ahh right hmmm... that's interesting how you see the term romantic love mean.. but i still don't get it how someone can fall in love with someone owo like i do want to have those cheesy romcom moments but it's more because i'm a hopeless romantic but i'm also aromantic and it's weird.. T_T but also more than anything i just want to be taken care of owo

I think the way that I would describe how I would like to find someone is through a connection. I've seen some Ace vids where they describe that the people they've had relationships with, they felt a very deep emotional connection. Maybe that's what you're looking for too? No need to define it if you're not sure yet, I feel like when you find someone and feel something, you'll know it. It's okay if there's no defined term yet for it as you'll know it when it happens. ☺️

Edited August 22, 2023 by MysticSand

[LittleBunnyCici]

I hate to be the party pooper, but as Vampiress stated earlier there is no difference - CG/l is just a gender-neutral alternative to DDlg, because not all of the dominants in this dynamic are Daddies and not all of the submissives are little girls lol  Nothing in the previous few messages about there being a different in the hierarchy or or anything like that is accurate. If you personally prefer to refer to it that way, I suppose no one can stop you, but please be aware that that is not what anyone else means when they use CG/l instead of DD/lg and you are going to confuse a lot of people if you try to talk about it that way lol

[Guest bubudabu]

9 hours ago, MysticSand said:

I thinkt the way that I would describe how I would like to find someone is through a connection. I've seen some Ace vids where they describe that the people they've had relationships with, they felt a very deep emotional connection. Maybe that's what you're looking for too? No need to define it if you're not sure yet, I feel like when you find someone and feel something, you'll know it. It's okay if there's no defined term yet for it as you'll know it when it happens. ☺️

Right... for me connection is also very important when i want to find someone.. i need the deep emotional connection when i want to have any relationship especially friendship..

yeah i think that definitely what i'm looking for :3

heheh that's true!!! thank you for saying that!! thank you for the reassurance!! >w<

[Guest bubudabu]

9 minutes ago, Cloverworked said:

I hate to be the party pooper, but as Vampiress stated earlier there is no difference - CG/l is just a gender-neutral alternative to DDlg, because not all of the dominants in this dynamic are Daddies and not all of the submissives are little girls lol  Nothing in the previous few messages about there being a different in the hierarchy or or anything like that is accurate. If you personally prefer to refer to it that way, I suppose no one can stop you, but please be aware that that is not what anyone else means when they use CG/l instead of DD/lg and you are going to confuse a lot of people if you try to talk about it that way lol

Hmmm i don't know.... i guess it's a lot of different perspective out there... but i tried to talk to some other people in the community and half of their opinions are like what the previous messages above told me and half are like what you and vampiress said.. so maybe it depends on how people view it? 

because like maybe CG/l is not really a part of BDSM itself? because there is like not really a dominant nor little, it's more like a caregiver like a parental figure taking care of someone that needs to be taken care of in a way? like to think about it's like how an individual with an adoptive parent act? it's not related to BDSM, it's just like how a normal parent and an adopted child would act?

[LittleBunnyCici]

CG/l is absolutely part of BDSM, and you are getting hung up on an artificial distinction between the terms Caregiver and Mommy and Daddy. You seem to have the idea that Mommy/Daddy dom/mes are always strict sexual dominants, but this is simply not the case. Daddy and Mommy are titles for Caregivers. You can choose to call yourself a Caregiver instead of taking either of those titles, and people do so for a thousand different reasons, but fundamentally both are titles used by Caregivers. The idea that a Daddy or Mommy dom/me can't be "like a parental figure taking care of someone" is a generalization that doesn't actually play out in reality.

Individual Caregivers and their littles can - and do by the sheer nature of the dynamic - figure out exactly what shape that dynamic is going to take for them. And someone can obviously use the title of Daddy or Mommy without being a Caregiver, whether that's something both parties have agreed to or they're acting our of selfishness or malice. But that doesn't actually create a distinction between CG/l and DD/lg, and I promise you that the vast majority of actual kink educators in our community are going to tell you the same thing. Again, you can choose to use that distinction in your own life if it makes sense for you, but that's not how the community at large defines the terms and you're going to cause confusion by doing so.

[Cebakes]

31 minutes ago, Cloverworked said:

CG/l is absolutely part of BDSM, and you are getting hung up on an artificial distinction between the terms Caregiver and Mommy and Daddy. You seem to have the idea that Mommy/Daddy dom/mes are always strict sexual dominants, but this is simply not the case. Daddy and Mommy are titles for Caregivers. You can choose to call yourself a Caregiver instead of taking either of those titles, and people do so for a thousand different reasons, but fundamentally both are titles used by Caregivers. The idea that a Daddy or Mommy dom/me can't be "like a parental figure taking care of someone" is a generalization that doesn't actually play out in reality.

Individual Caregivers and their littles can - and do by the sheer nature of the dynamic - figure out exactly what shape that dynamic is going to take for them. And someone can obviously use the title of Daddy or Mommy without being a Caregiver, whether that's something both parties have agreed to or they're acting our of selfishness or malice. But that doesn't actually create a distinction between CG/l and DD/lg, and I promise you that the vast majority of actual kink educators in our community are going to tell you the same thing. Again, you can choose to use that distinction in your own life if it makes sense for you, but that's not how the community at large defines the terms and you're going to cause confusion by doing so.

Since there is no “one true way”, and there are many people who view CG/L as a lifestyle, I personally would not pigeon hole it as BDSM, which is a kink.  Same for DDLG.  

[LittleBunnyCici]

I think it's an oversimplification to call BDSM a kink.  BDSM is not a kink - it's the collection of all the various kinks that exist, yes, but also the communities surrounding them.  And I'm sorry if someone feels like I'm dictating their identity or sexuality to them, because that's not the point and they are free to personally approach it however best suits them, as I've said multiple times, but CG/l is absolutely a kink. A kink doesn't have to be sexual to be a kink - even ace people can have kinks and actively and enthusiastically pursue BDSM interests. I 100% disagree with the idea that something being a lifestyle means it's not also a kink.

[Cebakes]

24 minutes ago, Cloverworked said:

I think it's an oversimplification to call BDSM a kink.  BDSM is not a kink - it's the collection of all the various kinks that exist, yes, but also the communities surrounding them.  And I'm sorry if someone feels like I'm dictating their identity or sexuality to them, because that's not the point and they are free to personally approach it however best suits them, as I've said multiple times, but CG/l is absolutely a kink. A kink doesn't have to be sexual to be a kink - even ace people can have kinks and actively and enthusiastically pursue BDSM interests. I 100% disagree with the idea that something being a lifestyle means it's not also a kink.

You are correct, BDSM is more of a collection of kinks.  

[Guest bubudabu]

1 hour ago, Cloverworked said:

CG/l is absolutely part of BDSM, and you are getting hung up on an artificial distinction between the terms Caregiver and Mommy and Daddy. You seem to have the idea that Mommy/Daddy dom/mes are always strict sexual dominants, but this is simply not the case. Daddy and Mommy are titles for Caregivers. You can choose to call yourself a Caregiver instead of taking either of those titles, and people do so for a thousand different reasons, but fundamentally both are titles used by Caregivers. The idea that a Daddy or Mommy dom/me can't be "like a parental figure taking care of someone" is a generalization that doesn't actually play out in reality.

Individual Caregivers and their littles can - and do by the sheer nature of the dynamic - figure out exactly what shape that dynamic is going to take for them. And someone can obviously use the title of Daddy or Mommy without being a Caregiver, whether that's something both parties have agreed to or they're acting our of selfishness or malice. But that doesn't actually create a distinction between CG/l and DD/lg, and I promise you that the vast majority of actual kink educators in our community are going to tell you the same thing. Again, you can choose to use that distinction in your own life if it makes sense for you, but that's not how the community at large defines the terms and you're going to cause confusion by doing so.

Thank you for sharing your point of view ^^. 

In my opinion, I believe that CG/l might not neatly align with the BDSM framework for everyone. For me, it appears to highlight the caregiver-little dynamic, which often resembles a parental bond rather than solely a dominant-submissive relationship.

I don't necessarily imply that Mommy/Daddy dom/mes always embody strict sexual dominance. I see these titles as symbolic of caregiving roles, focused on offering emotional support and guidance, while also incorporating romantic feelings and relationships. On the other hand, CG/l feels to me like how an adoptive parent might care for their child, in a platonic and non-romantic manner.

It's important to note that my intention isn't to confuse anyone by interpreting CG/l this way. My goal is to embrace a perspective that emphasizes nurturing and support, extending beyond the boundaries of a purely BDSM-oriented dynamic. I firmly believe that individual caregivers and their littles can shape their dynamics in alignment with their distinct needs and preferences.

Additionally, I definitely acknowledge that CG/l can be seen as a kink, and I respect that there's a range of experiences within the community. It's true that a kink doesn't have to be solely sexual in nature and that individuals of all orientations, including ace people, can engage in BDSM interests.

What I was trying to express is that for me, CG/l holds a significance that extends beyond what I traditionally associate with a kink. I see it as a lifestyle that encompasses emotional connections and support, similar to seeking an adoptive parent for unfulfilled emotional needs. It's not about diminishing its validity as a kink, but more about the complexity and diversity of experiences that can be present within the CG/l community.

[Cebakes]

1 hour ago, bubudabu said:

Thank you for sharing your point of view ^^. 

In my opinion, I believe that CG/l might not neatly align with the BDSM framework for everyone. For me, it appears to highlight the caregiver-little dynamic, which often resembles a parental bond rather than solely a dominant-submissive relationship.

I don't necessarily imply that Mommy/Daddy dom/mes always embody strict sexual dominance. I see these titles as symbolic of caregiving roles, focused on offering emotional support and guidance, while also incorporating romantic feelings and relationships. On the other hand, CG/l feels to me like how an adoptive parent might care for their child, in a platonic and non-romantic manner.

It's important to note that my intention isn't to confuse anyone by interpreting CG/l this way. My goal is to embrace a perspective that emphasizes nurturing and support, extending beyond the boundaries of a purely BDSM-oriented dynamic. I firmly believe that individual caregivers and their littles can shape their dynamics in alignment with their distinct needs and preferences.

Additionally, I definitely acknowledge that CG/l can be seen as a kink, and I respect that there's a range of experiences within the community. It's true that a kink doesn't have to be solely sexual in nature and that individuals of all orientations, including ace people, can engage in BDSM interests.

What I was trying to express is that for me, CG/l holds a significance that extends beyond what I traditionally associate with a kink. I see it as a lifestyle that encompasses emotional connections and support, similar to seeking an adoptive parent for unfulfilled emotional needs. It's not about diminishing its validity as a kink, but more about the complexity and diversity of experiences that can be present within the CG/l community.

I think that is a great vision, opinion and can align with all of that. There is nothing there that is confusing or that I would say is off base and I’m sure many here align with your views. 

 

 

[Guest bubudabu]

29 minutes ago, Cebakes said:

I think that is a great vision, opinion and can align with all of that. There is nothing there that is confusing or that I would say is off base and I’m sure many here align with your views. 

 

 

Thank you so much for saying that! I appreciate that ^^

[MysticSand]

15 hours ago, Cloverworked said:

Nothing in the previous few messages about there being a different in the hierarchy or or anything like that is accurate. If you personally prefer to refer to it that way, I suppose no one can stop you, but please be aware that that is not what anyone else means when they use CG/l instead of DD/lg and you are going to confuse a lot of people if you try to talk about it that way lol

@Cloverworked Well this is why reading is important. I do think there's something to be said about sharing different experiences and how we identify ourselves rather than only answering with a version of what can be found with a simple google search. Without sharing our own personal thoughts and opinions and identities, we would soon find the definition of terms being very narrow and I'm not sure that would be good for communities such as this. For my post, please note I specifically used personal pronouns and emphasized how I see and identify as a caregiver. Understandably, I do know that literacy isn't a strong suit for the internet. So I guess maybe I will try to also color code in my future posts in addition to bolding, italizing and emphasizing personal pronouns. 👍

Edited August 22, 2023 by MysticSand

[Vampiress]

I agree with Cloverworked. Even in "DD/lg" you'll find submissive Daddies and dominant littles and some who don't really engage in either. DD/lg is a term that doesn't really wholly encompass everything it includes. CG/l, DD/lg, and any other combination of terms are essentially the same thing. They tend to include SOME form of power exchange, even if it's not in the traditional BDSM sense. Sometimes it's simply the Caregiver is more of a mentor or gives guidance. C/gl and all the other terms do not have to be inherently sexual either, it still counts if you are completely SFW with it. I believe Cloverworked is correct in saying people are getting too hung up on the terms themselves, because they make the lifestyle seem more narrow than it is. The lifestyle has many nuances, but DD/lg and CG/l are essentially the same with many different ways of experiencing it. I do not thing one is more traditional BDSM than the other. It may fall under the BDSM umbrella, but BDSM is not all about whips, chains, degradation, etc. There are a lot of things involved in BDSM that go beyond the stereotypes people think of.

Edited August 24, 2023 by Vampiress
typo

[visit_daddydom.online]

Kink in it's boarder context is exploring of sexualities, relationship models and states of consciousnesses that are not considered common in everyday vanilla life. 

Now, D/ s, SM, Ms, DDLG - all of these are different species existing in the boarder context of kink.

DDLG and CGL both are build on the caregiving relationship model where one member gives care to the other member. 

The difference is that in ddlg, the relationship can include intimacy while in CGL, it is purely caregiving based. Thus, CGL is more general then ddlg.

In short 

 

 Kink =  ∫ (D/ s, SM, Ms, DDLG, CGL... )

It is read as, 

Kink is the totality of D/ s, SM, Ms, DDLG, CGL and other such of those. 

And,

d/ dx (Kink) = CGL 

It is read as A first order derivative of kink is CGL

 

 d²/d²X (Kink) = DDLG 

It is read as a second order derivative of kink is DDLG

 

 

Edited August 22, 2023 by DaddyDomManual

[visit_daddydom.online]

And BDSM is a set of BD,Ds, and SM. 

BDSM is not a species in the boarder context of kink, but it is simply a term to refer to those three species. 

[LittleBunnyCici]

14 hours ago, MysticSand said:

@Cloverworked Well this is why reading is important. I do think there's something to be said about sharing different experiences and how we identify ourselves rather than only answering with a version of what can be found with a simple google search. Without sharing our own personal thoughts and opinions and identities, we would soon find the definition of terms being very narrow and I'm not sure that would be good for communities such as this. For my post, please note I specifically used personal pronouns and emphasized how I see and identify as a caregiver. Understandably, I do know that literacy isn't a strong suit for the internet. So I guess maybe I will try to also color code in my future posts in addition to bolding, italizing and emphasizing personal pronouns. 👍

It's really funny to see someone passive-aggressively complain about literacy while, in the process, completely failing to meet their own standards lol

I don't know you well enough for you to take that tone with me, so keep it to yourself.

[Vampiress]

I think a huge misconception here is that BDSM means it has to be rough, degrading, humiliating, painful, etc. BDSM includes a lot of things that never have to hurt someone physically or emotionally at all. Being caring, soft, sweet, etc all have a place in BDSM too.