Abandonment Issues?

[Littlebabyxo]

Hi everyone 🙂

I have been in an online relationship with my daddy now for 8 months, due to meet soon. We met originally not as DDLG but more BDSM without. I’ve always known I felt like a little and he noticed this and helped bring it out of me more which I’m so grateful as I have never had a relationship like this. 
The problem is now that I feel way to clingy. I feel like I love him so much to the point it hurts and I’m scared of losing him. I don’t want him to abandon me but it’s all I can think about. I’m constantly thinking that he is speaking to others more for the BDSM that we don’t really do anymore because he may be missing out now. 
I don’t know if this is normal and I’ve gained some kind of manic attachment issue. I have spoken to him about it and he assures me he is not, however I just can’t shake off feeling like this. ☹️

 

Fairie 💕

[lilpincess]

I’m glad you talked to him, but I’m sorry you don’t feel more reassured. Is there anything specific that makes you feel this way, or is it just a feeling? While not all littles are clingy, a lot definitely are, so it’s not an unusual thing. Is there anything your daddy could say or do that would reassure you?

[Littlebabyxo]

Hey @lilpincess!

It’s just a feeling that has arisen. I’ve never had a relationship so intense, which is crazy to me because we haven’t even met yet. Maybe that is part of the reason!? 
Some days I feel ok, others (like now) I just get a wave of anxiety that my daddy will just decide he doesn’t want me anymore and It kills me.
I will give it a thought on what he can do to put me at ease! 🙂

[lilpincess]

I definitely understand how intense this can feel, especially when it’s so new. It’s the same for me. Being online only so far is tough too! But it’s so exciting that you’ll be meeting soon! That might help you feel better, might seem more real. But just remember, even if it doesn’t work out, it just means he wasn’t the daddy for you. Communication is important in any relationship, but especially in LDR ddlg ones. The best parts of my day is when I get to talk to my daddy, so I totally understand. As hard as it is, don’t let your brain lie to you and cause problems. Hugs to you!

[Cebakes]

Do you feel you suffer from panic, anxiety, or obsess over things in general?  Has this happened with other aspects or things in your life? Does your mind race about other things?  Do you have adhd? There is nothing wrong with being clingy or having fears of losing someone, but by your own admission, it appears you are obsessing or panicking.

These relationships are very powerful and many times go well beyond the traditional girlfriend and boyfriend dynamics.  Long distance relationships can be very difficult.  

I would recommend listening to advice from others on this site, journaling, try to find someone to talk to about this,  identify what’s causing you to feel this way, and read as much as you can on the topic.   

When this does happen, you need to find a way to focus on other things. I know that’s easier said than done.  Reading, tv, exercise, walking, the gym, visiting family and friends, are some methods I’ve used to get my mind off negative thoughts or obsessing.

The positive thing, is you are able to identify that there is an issue here.   Your fears are probably unfounded, but you will need to get control of this so it doesn’t ruin this relationship or happen in the future. 
 

Best of luck!
 

 

[Vampiress]

Just remember that he helped bring this out in you to begin with, so he must be okay with it. If you are worried, perhaps you can incorporate more bdsm elements sometimes to satisfy whatever you think he is missing out on? Then at least there is some more compromise where you get what you want, and what he might want if he is in fact missing it.

Edited June 19, 2023 by Vampiress

[Littlebabyxo]

@Cebakes

Yess, I am usually a very anxious person in social situations etc. however I didn’t feel like this with daddy before the DDLG aspect came into play 😣I just feel extremely vulnerable and clingy now   

Thanks for your advice I will definitely check out other comments 

💕

[Littlebabyxo]

@Vampiress Thank you! I didn’t think of it that way. I think I’m just thinking too much into it, you’re right.. he did suggest this! 😊🩷

[MissNMTX]

I'm sorry that you're struggling. However, I do think it's quite common. Given the nature of the dynamic and the long distance aspect. The nature of both BDSM and DDlg are both intense. They need to be in order to develop the trust and communication needed. I guess since you're new to the dynamic it's just your first experience with it is all. Truth be told, when things don't work out it does make it harder. When things are good it can be amazing.

I'm sure when you meet in person (I hope it's soon to ease your mind), you will feel more certain about your feelings one way or another. Try talking to him, from what you said he's insightful. I'm sure there are things he can do to help...more communication can help.

Please don't fret over something that can be worked through. Bonus, some daddy's actually like their littles clingy from time to time.

[Littlebabyxo]

@MissNMTX

Thank you 🙂 I guess you’re right. I have never felt a connection so intense before.. I think I am just not wanting to lose it! 
He is the best daddy and always encourages communication.. I just don’t want to Bombard him with my anxiety, however he is my daddy so he will probably welcome it! 
 

💕