How do you say your sorry from afar and show you really mean it.

[ANewDragon]

Hello all,

 

I have a question. I have been in "vanilla" LDRs before, So I know that saying sorry in Texts, and emails only goes so far. I do not want to loose my friend as I was really hoping to build on the friendship. 

 

So I was talking to my friend that is a little, We are talking and I did something that she considers very rude. I feel very badly about it now that I understand she thinks that what I did was rude. 

 

I apologized to her a few times over text in the 10 mins that followed, I also explained how I felt about the topic overall, and honestly was I was asking. 

 

I feel very bad about what I did, I know I wont do it again, but How can I let her know how I really feel? Any suggestions?

[Guest MyDaddyMyWorld]

You need to back off and wait for her to calm down and either come to you or not. You've apologised and explained yourself more than enough times. It's her choice now. The more you go on and on, the more you will just seem like a pest. The ball is in her court. Step back.

[Guest Jennyanydots]

Wait a day or two. If you haven't heard from her, text her once more promising to leave her alone if she doesn't respond, but appologize one last time, sincerely, and tell her you hope your ignorance hasn't ruined your friendship. Tell her how important that friendship is to you - let her know what she means to you. Do not explain your feelings on the topic again because she really just needs to know that you understand how SHE felt about it. She already knows how you feel, trust me, she was listening. Tell her again that you understand why it upset her, that lets little know that you won't do it again (and if you DO do it again, it will be unforgiveable) Don't press too hard and don't say something stupid like "I was really hoping things would progress with us" or whatever nonesense pops into your head. Stick to talking about what is at hand. Choose your words carefully - as a Daddy you should know that Good luck and remember, if she is too damaged to forgive right now, then she probably just needs time to heal and maybe she will come back to you or maybe she won't, but if it's meant to be, then it will be.

[LolitasDaddy]

Be patient. If you can't talk rationally right now, write a letter. If you want to be more personal, record her a voice message, or a short video. Make it clear you understand what, and why you did was wrong, and that you accept responsibility, and are willing to work to fix it.

[Guest DaddysLolita]

If you've already apologized, give her some space. Personally, if I can't calm down when something happens, a few hours of no contact usually helps because 1. Things get worse when you try and try to reiterate your point and 2. Sometimes you need space to clear your head and reflect.

 

If your friend wants to contact you, she will. When she does, do NOT go over your point (s) again, let her talk if she needs to. Then maybe at the end throw in something like, "I understand what I did was rude, it won't happen again." And let it drop.

 

Best wishes

 

<3

[ANewDragon]

Thank you all for you advice.

[fatyknowsnothing]

I'm in vanilla LDR too.

i usually apologize first via text/mail and let him alone for a day. Then give a picture of some cutesy note on the next day on how sorry i am and how bad i feel after doing that to him and then i'll wait for him to talk to me again.

And don't forget to send a quick text on night like sleep well or wish you have a great day on thr morning, just one time a day, without mention sorry cz your first apology is enough if you really mean that.

[Guest Jennyanydots]

How's it going, Dragon? or do you care to share?

[HerDarkDaddy]

When someone feels that you have been "rude" to them, just like everyone else has said...apologize, explain your actions and then let them think about it. By continually bringing it up, you are also forcing them the "re-live" the moment in their mind and, depending on how severe they felt it was, could just make them even madder.

 

Let them simmer down, get to a calm, rational state of mind and hopefully they can see it in a different light.

[mermaidgrrl]

Time and space help, but also might help to send her cute things that remind her that you see the things that are neat about her. If she wants to work it out, she will be receptive.

[Guest Bear]

I've been there, man. 
Not in a LDR but in an LTR irl relationship where I could not handle having the relationship in a state where she was upset or hurt because of me, and I would spend the following hours trying to make her work it out with me, which ended making it worse. I really didnt learn from past mistakes and it took it's toll, I guess.

Sometimes, the answer is time. Let her relax, give her time to think about stuff. 
If it really wasnt anything terrible that you did, she'll probably talk to you after a while and you'll both move on. 

I know it sucks, I'm also the impatient kind, but you gotta adapt sometimes when it's worth it(this goes both ways, btw).

[Daddy's Snowflake]

After a number of years of abuse I have some baggage. It actually hurts me more if Daddy leaves me alone after somet tiff between us. We don't really fight, we just talk things through. There are times it takes Days of us talking to get past it but he knows that if he were to just say sorry and leave me be then the bad voices in my head would have a hay day and I'd be a mess the whole time. But we are in a ldr that has years of history too so I'm not sure if you guys are to that point. But you might want to explain that if she needs you there you want to be there, if she needs space then you'll be waiting. Just let her know your not just saying sorry and wait for her to just get over it.