Motivation or lack of

[Kittyara207]

Just realized I have soooo much to do.  I make all these plans to work on all of it but then feel overwhelmed and upset /angry with myself for letting it go for so long.  Needing to as I was told 'buckle down' and do it.  But I don't want to.  Other things I'd rather do.  I start on something and let things distract me like a dog with a squirrel.  Like seeing a person with a hole in their pants the back pocket looks like it might let go...I want to say something but I don't want anyone to think I am staring at their butt, but its like eye level when your sitting.  You make up your mind to say something and well they're more gone than the squirrel that wasn't really there?!  

Like right now I should be studying but I am here and not on my class site.  Also distracted by the guy with a hole in his pants.  Why do I even plan or try anything different than my normal?!

[beanbean]

I guess don't focus on everything do one thing at a time and go from there.  Don't think at a pass or failure thing . 

 Just Do the best you can

[Kittyara207]

Yeah but....ummmm...I want to do more.

[beanbean]

Okay you can do more but just do a little at time baby steps  . Just set reasonable goals

[Kittyara207]

Not the type to.  It's either all or none.  But I will try to.  It's just me.  Class related I push to be perfect.  If not 95 or higher I have failed.  Last time I was in classes I was on the Dean's list.  And Presidents list.  So ummm I need to hit perfection on many levels.

[beanbean]

Ah well do one step at a time but try real hard lol do good at it but less chance to fail because if you try everything at the same time you will most likely be disappointed 

[Guest Erickwcurls]

ADHD lol everything distracts me.  At same time never cared about grades, just the information.  I too feel overwhelmed.  Heartbreak, not having enough money or being able to earn enough.  Hooray adulthood 

[Kittyara207]

Yeah.  Doing 4 things at once is difficult kind of.  No ADHD, atleast that I know of.  My job is paying for my currrent classes.  I will sit with patients and just listen to them tell stories and learn from them.  

Metallica and Crimson Glory helps me concentrate on classes.  Other music makes me distracted.  But I almost forget to go back to work or do anything else.   

 

[MasterPhotog]

You're not along, but may find following helpful: 
- Small room, with just a table and chair
- No social media or at certain times only
- Doing only ONE thing at a time while telling yourself to do whatever else distacts you later
- Avoid perfection, as long as whatever you do does the job
Best of luck. 
 

[Kittyara207]

My house is too distracting...one thing at a time all have suggested seems like sage advice.  No social media doable.  But if it's not as perfect as possible have I really tried?  

People have always said I should do better.  2nd place is first loser.   I guess I could tone down and maybe accept a 90...but anything below is a hard no.  

The house cleaning 3 people in the house and the only one who cares is me.  Something/someone needs to give.

[beanbean]

Maybe that one you done need a special room you can keep that clean and the kitchen and a bathroom and the the rest of the house can suck it lol

[Kittyara207]

 Maybe, I have an area less 'traveled' that could be made to what I want.   You all have been helpful. 

But the house going to peices?  My Oma would not stand for it.  Just thinking that way I feel her stare.  I would rather go up to a  moose during mating season and slap him across the face.  Or pick up a baby bear while his mama watched.

Night 

[MasterPhotog]

1 hour ago, Kittyara207 said:

My house is too distracting...one thing at a time all have suggested seems like sage advice.  No social media doable.  But if it's not as perfect as possible have I really tried?  

People have always said I should do better.  2nd place is first loser.   I guess I could tone down and maybe accept a 90...but anything below is a hard no.  

The house cleaning 3 people in the house and the only one who cares is me.  Something/someone needs to give.

 

On house cleaning, try cleaning 1/3 of the house, part that you use most, until the other two get the message. Good luck!

[Punographer]

That's a very overwhelming feeling but be kind to yourself. No matter how much you have left to do, speak to yourself with kindness. Often times the plans we set for ourselves can be loaded and logical. Almost too logical that it doesn't account for the mental push that it took and is going to take you to finish the work. 

Maybe give yourself a small task like do x thing for 5 minutes. Start small and maybe do it with a friend. Often times we struggle with getting things done because we actually need help. The help could be partnering with a tutor or looking up "how to do x thing?". 

[Kittyara207]

All of you are right.  And I tried it.  Laundry and my bedroom.  Nothing yet.  I even tried asking outright of all and the  youngest helped the other was 'busy' video games.  So I decided to do the laundry for all but the one who is 'too busy'.  And clean the areas that are important to me.  Thank you.

[beanbean]

Also I wouldn't be to hard on your self you  seem to do lots of work 

[Funny_Little_Bean]

This may not work for you but it really works for me when I get caught up with everything and start to get pressed with all or nothing thoughts. 

If you've established a routine, try breaking it. It could be anything, take a different route to work or school. Drink at a different coffee place. Instead of working at home, try a library or just somewhere outdoors. Doing so can re-engage your mind if it is kinda stuck and needs to be loaded up a bit. 

I work full time and study part time, plus managing household chores and life for myself (social, hobbies etc...) And it can be so easy to be fall into the trap of chasing a goal that you'll never achieve. A house that's never clean because everytime you clean it, more mess is built up....etc. It's hard but acknowledging that you can't control everything around you to perfection and just allowing yourself to breathe and refocus may also help. 

Much love

Xx

[Kittyara207]

I understand and I appreciate the words.  I just get overwhelmed with life and things going on with it lately.  

The ideas are amazing and I will get passed it.  I wish I could work from home but my job is with the patients face to face.  I do need a change of scenery and will get one just the timing is important.  Have a great evening all.

 

[Goofy Dad Energy]

I have ADHD (We think) and the thing that makes me focus the absolute best is the sounds of flowing water, like a river. There's science behind why it helps but I'm at work so can't do much digging at the moment.

[Kittyara207]

I will try it.  What's the worse that happens....I have to go pee from water sounds.

[Erasmeus71]

Well one way to do things is a list daily. Check it off daily one item at a time till they are done. 

[PrincessBinny]

On 5/18/2023 at 7:10 PM, Kittyara207 said:

Not the type to.  It's either all or none.  But I will try to.  It's just me.  Class related I push to be perfect.  If not 95 or higher I have failed.  Last time I was in classes I was on the Dean's list.  And Presidents list.  So ummm I need to hit perfection on many levels.

 

On 5/18/2023 at 7:10 PM, Kittyara207 said:

Not the type to.  It's either all or none.  But I will try to.  It's just me.  Class related I push to be perfect.  If not 95 or higher I have failed.  Last time I was in classes I was on the Dean's list.  And Presidents list.  So ummm I need to hit perfection on many levels.

I would say the all or none may be your biggest issue. You need to find a good medium and balance in your responsibilities. If your schoolwork takes priority, you'll need to give yourself slacking room in other areas.

Maybe setting a certain time to do fun things and at least (blank) much time for your studies that way you can't just go back and forth as you want.

That is my recommendation as someone who 100% knows the struggle! I had to be on Presidents list every semester but had a terrible problem with keeping my focus. Is your major something your really interested in? My major turned out to be my real issue but I still have trouble with motivation!

[Kittyara207]

The advice sounds great but not sure it will work.  I am trying to.  Many have suggested just that in different words.  It is working a bit better than what I was doing.  The more I implement the ways the easier it gets.  I find if I spend mornings on weekends to get my classwork done and then a walk I feel like I have done better.  And 2hrs on Tuesdays and Thursdays seem to be great.  I get more time to me. 

And I spoke to the youngest child and they are helping with laundry.  They do their own and towels.  I do blankets and my clothes and the extra stuff.  And when they don't work they put dishes away and help a little other rooms by vacuuming for me.  Also learning to set schedules for other things too.  As I was told one step at a time!  Spouse says he'll help yeah right I!   I believe it when it happens.  Last time I just don't trust his promises anymore.