anxious about having a caregiver

[cinnie]

hi! so as stated in my introduction, i have severe social anxiety (+selective mutism). a part of me wants a caregiver so bad, like i just want to snuggle, be nurtured, and be a good girl so bad. at the same time, with my issues, the thought of actually having a caregiver or being in a relationship scares-no, terrifies me. like i could almost throw up from anxiety when i get messages even. i obviously (unfortunately) need to work on my problems before considering finding a caregiver, but that makes me sad and also frustrated with myself. it's hard being a little on your own. especially when you have a sweet tooth and no one to stop you from downing a whole bag of swedish fish 😛 🍭

ok, question: does anyone else here not have a caregiver due to social anxiety or a related disorder?

[AspiringDaddy]

Cinni, no one stops me from downing a whole bag of swedish fish - but for me only the black ones!

I hope you don't mind me chiming in here. It's a kind of chicken and egg situation. A very gentle and patient CG could help you overcoming your anxiety.  But to find this rare (?) person you'd need to overcome that anxiety. But if you want this so bad, maybe you can find a way to lift yourself over that initial hurdle.

The mere fact that you're posting here proves that you can do it.

Now, take another swedish fish (or a bag) for courage.

Good luck Cinni and big hugs.

[STLMike]

I agree with the person above me. You can do it. Someone that can understand can help you overcome it. It might take longer than expected but you can do it. You posting this is one step. Just take it one day at a time and hopefully everyone sees this and understands why you may not message or message back. Social anxiety sucks. My daughter had it for the longest time and she was able to get over it but I know everyone is different so I believe you can do it!!

[beanbean]

Take it slow work on you first it will come in time just take it slow and if you to talk to a would be Dom just carefully explain what you would need from them and go from there

[Andriel_Isilien]

I am my own caregiver the past year and a half while I work things out through therapy. I need to be enough for myself before I jump all into another relationship. What has helped me is making friendships and connections either here or in my local community. I keep a list of ideas of goals and littlespace tips to help myself during this time on my own. The idea of a starting a relationship with a potential Dom/Caregiver so soon is scary but anyone worth their salt would have the patience with me to take things slowly as I need. 😊 Don't think too hard about how everything will work out and just have fun doing things you love! 

[MysticSand]

1 hour ago, Andriel_Isilien said:

I need to be enough for myself before I jump all into another relationship.

This!!!!! 1000% this! OP, please make sure that you are happy and healthy on your own first before embarking into looking for a relationship. Partners are there to compliment us, not complete us.

I second Andriel's response because I think people too often enter into a relationship looking to be dependent on the other person, and while this may work well for a select few, I think it more often than not opens them up to being neglectful of their own needs and being taken advantage of because they "finally have someone who's there for them."

Therapy is a great way to just get things out; sometimes talking over habits and chatting with an unbiased professional to create a gameplay to overcome XYZ is soo soo helpful and needed!

But anyway, back to the original question asked! Hmm. As a Caregiver, I think at this point I don't have a LIttle because my anxiety and need for order and planning is too high. I do get social anxiety, but not to the level that you describe having. For me, I know when I would be able to take on a Little and when I wouldn't because I want to be able to have the time, energy, and emotional/mental/physical capacity to give them a fair share of myself. If I couldn't do that, I wouldn't initiate or reach out for something beyond friendship.

[cinnie]

thank you all for the kind words! 🤗