Fake Daddies

[softbunnysunshine]

The amount and definition of 'fake daddies' I feel is very skewed, the majority of "daddies" I have come in contact with want one thing...you know what I'm talking about. Being 18 within that can be quite a challenge I feel, It's quite disheartening for people such as myself who desire comfort and genuine connection on a level such as a caregiver relationship.

Do any other littles feel similar?

[Guest BabyBug]

I understand this completely, but it's not just them, there are fake Littles too.

[softbunnysunshine]

20 minutes ago, Cricket said:

I understand this completely, but it's not just them, there are fake Littles too.

Oh well ofc but in my experience there's this sick thing of "getting to know you" until trust is developed then asking for n00ds, etc, blocking you that is much more prevalent with "daddies".

[Guest BabyBug]

15 minutes ago, softbunnysunshine said:

Oh well ofc but in my experience there's this sick thing of "getting to know you" until trust is developed then asking for n00ds, etc, blocking you that is much more prevalent with "daddies".

But we only see our side of it so ofc we say daddies, I sure they have some stories of their own and might say differently. What I'm trying to say is that we shouldn't point fingers because there are 9 more pointing back at you...I think that's how the saying goes at least lol. We control what we do though, if a daddy wants to block me because I won't send him pictures, then he's not worth my time. That red flags topic is very enlightening, it helped me this week. I'm sorry your having trouble with this, I hope it gets better!

[beanbean]

I just say be careful both sides. You got to vet carefully .also just because someone does a creep thing or Ghosts does not necessarily mean there fake I could be that some situations they handle poorly

[TurtleIssues]

I cant really say much about this because i as a caregiver have never run into a fake daddy myself ive run into a few who were kinda sketchy though i did have a few littles told me their experiences with fake daddies

i can say this most of the time if im asking for any picture at all its for me to meet all the stuffy friends and/or pets 

[CodeName: Trouble]

I always recommend caution when using the term 'fake' because it is a word too easily thrown around, and often not harsh enough for what the behavior really is. If someone is being a creep and trying to pray on others - they aren't fake- they are a predator. The term 'fake' attacks an identity or label, while we should be calling out the person. Labels in this community (and all others) can mean vastly different things depending on the individual and there is no cookie cutter way anyone should act. Deviation from the norm doesn't make someone fake, but some people might be inclined to label them as such if they dont meet their personal criteria or definitions. To protect our community from misunderstandings and misuse of the term, I try to avoid the word 'fake' all together. Everyone is valid.

HOWEVER -

If someone is toxic, making you uncomfortable and not respecting boundaries in the pursuit of their own pleasure - they are the definition of a predator; a person selfishly taking advantage of someone in order to profit from or otherwise benefit oneself. This exists outside of the CGL dynamic, outside BDSM, outside labels and identities - even if they might use those labels to hide behind. For these instances, I believe fake is not a strong enough or suitable word, and they should be called what they are.

Sadly there are bad people everywhere 😔 especially while you're young. I agree with what gigisweetheart said:

11 hours ago, gigisweetheart said:

I’m so sorry you have already had bad experiences with some people. I often worry about the younger members of this community because I feel like they are going to be targeted by the untrustworthy “caregivers”. I think they assume that young littles are easier to manipulate. 

I know I will get heck for saying this because everyone deserves to be safe and protected, but I wish young people were introduced to adult dating in a much safer and healthier way than they often are. The damage that is done to people so early on can create trust issues, insecurities, and even trauma. It’s heartbreaking. 

To be fair, I still meet people who only want that one thing from me - people who expect nudes and immediate gratification without bothering to get to know me. So… this kind of stuff will keep happening…BUT… the wonderful thing about having a community to turn to is that you can always ask us for feedback and support. We can try our best to keep each other safe. 

The Safety First and Flag Detection section has been very helpful to me. I read it every now and again to keep myself as safe as possible. You can only do so much though. Some awful people are going to be very good at gaining your trust. But there are good people out there at least! Hang in there! 🩷

Don't lose hope thou. Respect your own boundaries, respect yourself, and remember that you have an entire life ahead of you, and there's an entire world at least half full of wonderful people out there - a few creeps don't deserve even a second of your time. Your comfort and happiness is worth waiting for and vetting the right people.

I have attached an old thread that goes over the term 'fake', incase anyone wants to read - the topic seems to pop up every so often.

 

[softbunnysunshine]

14 hours ago, CodeName: Trouble said:

I always recommend caution when using the term 'fake' because it is a word too easily thrown around, and often not harsh enough for what the behavior really is. If someone is being a creep and trying to pray on others - they aren't fake- they are a predator. The term 'fake' attacks an identity or label, while we should be calling out the person. Labels in this community (and all others) can mean vastly different things depending on the individual and there is no cookie cutter way anyone should act. Deviation from the norm doesn't make someone fake, but some people might be inclined to label them as such if they dont meet their personal criteria or definitions. To protect our community from misunderstandings and misuse of the term, I try to avoid the word 'fake' all together. Everyone is valid.

HOWEVER -

If someone is toxic, making you uncomfortable and not respecting boundaries in the pursuit of their own pleasure - they are the definition of a predator; a person selfishly taking advantage of someone in order to profit from or otherwise benefit oneself. This exists outside of the CGL dynamic, outside BDSM, outside labels and identities - even if they might use those labels to hide behind. For these instances, I believe fake is not a strong enough or suitable word, and they should be called what they are.

Sadly there are bad people everywhere 😔 especially while you're young. I agree with what gigisweetheart said:

Don't lose hope thou. Respect your own boundaries, respect yourself, and remember that you have an entire life ahead of you, and there's an entire world at least half full of wonderful people out there - a few creeps don't deserve even a second of your time. Your comfort and happiness is worth waiting for and vetting the right people.

I have attached an old thread that goes over the term 'fake', incase anyone wants to read - the topic seems to pop up every so often.

 

Well ofc terms differ, regardless I do know what I am referencing and it has been the majority of "daddies" I have talked to. They fit both definitions completely. thanks for the 'advice' though???

[Cebakes]

5 hours ago, softbunnysunshine said:

Well ofc terms differ, regardless I do know what I am referencing and it has been the majority of "daddies" I have talked to. They fit both definitions completely. thanks for the 'advice' though???

Yes labels and terms differ, but your experience is very real and sounds pretty common.   Always good to discuss this topic so others know how to shut it down.   Sharing racy pics is somewhat common by many littles, daddy’s, and non DDLG folks. It’s the world we live in.  

While I haven’t done it with anyone here,  I admit I do it, but only after getting to know someone, there is an understanding of what we are both looking for, and it’s clear both parties want that. 

The second a request comes up for pics, you need to be strong and say you don’t do that.   Even better, state it on your profile, or in early chats, say you don’t send nudes.   You have the power and right to set boundaries and say no. 

 

[Guest Runa]

On 5/4/2023 at 1:40 AM, softbunnysunshine said:

The amount and definition of 'fake daddies' I feel is very skewed, the majority of "daddies" I have come in contact with want one thing...you know what I'm talking about. Being 18 within that can be quite a challenge I feel, It's quite disheartening for people such as myself who desire comfort and genuine connection on a level such as a caregiver relationship.

Do any other littles feel similar?

Yes, I understand what you're talking about.  Some giving themselves the title of Daddy but really are just looking for instant gratification.  I found this was worse when I was younger.  It's really understandable that you'd find this disheartening.  There are so many lovely people here that genuinely want to be a good caregivers.  Like others suggested, get familiar with warning signs and red flags, it really helps.

[softbunnysunshine]

4 hours ago, Runagh said:

Yes, I understand what you're talking about.  Some giving themselves the title of Daddy but really are just looking for instant gratification.  I found this was worse when I was younger.  It's really understandable that you'd find this disheartening.  There are so many lovely people here that genuinely want to be a good caregivers.  Like others suggested, get familiar with warning signs and red flags, it really helps.

Aweeee thank U, this was really sweet ❤️

[softbunnysunshine]

7 hours ago, Cebakes said:

Yes labels and terms differ, but your experience is very real and sounds pretty common.   Always good to discuss this topic so others know how to shut it down.   Sharing racy pics is somewhat common by many littles, daddy’s, and non DDLG folks. It’s the world we live in.  

While I haven’t done it with anyone here,  I admit I do it, but only after getting to know someone, there is an understanding of what we are both looking for, and it’s clear both parties want that. 

The second a request comes up for pics, you need to be strong and say you don’t do that.   Even better, state it on your profile, or in early chats, say you don’t send nudes.   You have the power and right to set boundaries and say no. 

 

I literally don't ever do anything racy, I say no and I do have boundaries. I'm not helpless and I know what I'm talking about, I'm definitely strong and I don't think my post was targeted at you. Don't get offended at someones awful experience. What I mean is because i'm 18 and have a cute appearance a lot of the time I am targeted by pure 'fetishists' and its a sick issue in which I am not being causal. 

[Cebakes]

37 minutes ago, softbunnysunshine said:

I literally don't ever do anything racy, I say no and I do have boundaries. I'm not helpless and I know what I'm talking about, I'm definitely strong and I don't think my post was targeted at you. Don't get offended at someones awful experience. What I mean is because i'm 18 and have a cute appearance a lot of the time I am targeted by pure 'fetishists' and its a sick issue in which I am not being causal. 

Who was offended????

[AspiringDaddy]

My 0.02$

Until proven otherwise I'm a fake daddy (not), candidate daddy, or aspiring daddy.

Oh, wait... 😁 , what's my username again? 😉 

A Daddy is what you both agree on in the relationship. Or better yet, you don't claim the title, you earn it.

I'm very honoured that my lovely girl, she has decided to call me so. I hope I'll be up to the task and expectations.

But, fake, no, that doesn't sound good at all.

[softbunnysunshine]

1 hour ago, AspiringDaddy said:

My 0.02$

Until proven otherwise I'm a fake daddy (not), candidate daddy, or aspiring daddy.

Oh, wait... 😁 , what's my username again? 😉 

A Daddy is what you both agree on in the relationship. Or better yet, you don't claim the title, you earn it.

I'm very honoured that my lovely girl, she has decided to call me so. I hope I'll be up to the task and expectations.

But, fake, no, that doesn't sound good at all.

Ok?? Good for you??

[softbunnysunshine]

2 hours ago, Cebakes said:

Who was offended????

Your response came off as very offended. Maybe I read it wrong but idk

[softbunnysunshine]

1 hour ago, AspiringDaddy said:

My 0.02$

Until proven otherwise I'm a fake daddy (not), candidate daddy, or aspiring daddy.

Oh, wait... 😁 , what's my username again? 😉 

A Daddy is what you both agree on in the relationship. Or better yet, you don't claim the title, you earn it.

I'm very honoured that my lovely girl, she has decided to call me so. I hope I'll be up to the task and expectations.

But, fake, no, that doesn't sound good at all.

And it's not really my issue if it 'sounds bad' to you. I'm clearly not referencing you.

[AspiringDaddy]

3 minutes ago, softbunnysunshine said:

Ok?? Good for you??

Personally, it doesn't matter what canon says about who's a daddy or not. All I care about is what my girl chose to call me.

[softbunnysunshine]

6 minutes ago, AspiringDaddy said:

Personally, it doesn't matter what canon says about who's a daddy or not. All I care about is what my girl chose to call me.

Thats great but I'm not talking about you and your girl, I'm talking about my experience with fake daddies. 

[Cebakes]

42 minutes ago, softbunnysunshine said:

Your response came off as very offended. Maybe I read it wrong but idk

Yes, I will try to make myself clearer. I was certainly not saying that you did anything to solicit this inappropriate behavior.   No matter what you look like, or wear,  it’s not a green light for pushing for pics.  I’m sure that you are targeted because of your young age.  
 

 

Edited May 5, 2023 by Cebakes

[softbunnysunshine]

4 minutes ago, Cebakes said:

Yes, I will try not to make myself clearer. I was certainly not saying that you did anything to solicit this inappropriate behavior.   No matter what you look like, or wear,  it’s not a green light for pushing for pics.  I’m sure that you are targeted because of your young age.  
 

 

Thanks for the clarification 👍

[Guest Rangerducky]

I e had the same problem, and there's one person in particular that's especially terrible. He does it to so many littles, and when he gets called out on it he deleted his account and makes a new one. I told an admin, but they haven't banned his newest one yet. His Username on here is HistoryNerd395. He doesn't really change his profile info or what he says in his personal ads. He promises you a happy life of traveling with him, he's a trucker, and marriage with having kids too. It's sick and twisted since when he finally convinces you to send private pictures, he unfollows you on everything and ghosts you within a day of doing it. I'm sorry for venting about this, but I just want to warn other littles away from him. I made friends with another girl he did this to, and she agrees that he shouldn't get away with it anymore and deserves to be called out on it. 

[softbunnysunshine]

23 minutes ago, Rangerducky said:

I e had the same problem, and there's one person in particular that's especially terrible. He does it to so many littles, and when he gets called out on it he deleted his account and makes a new one. I told an admin, but they haven't banned his newest one yet. His Username on here is HistoryNerd395. He doesn't really change his profile info or what he says in his personal ads. He promises you a happy life of traveling with him, he's a trucker, and marriage with having kids too. It's sick and twisted since when he finally convinces you to send private pictures, he unfollows you on everything and ghosts you within a day of doing it. I'm sorry for venting about this, but I just want to warn other littles away from him. I made friends with another girl he did this to, and she agrees that he shouldn't get away with it anymore and deserves to be called out on it. 

Hey, I'm sorry that's happened to you. It's a good thing to call out bad people like that so I wouldn't say you should be sorry at all. It's a sad reality within the community which is completely discouraging to anyone who wants to pursue a DD/LG CG relationship, I hope you're doing okay. Sending hugs ❤️

[Guest Rangerducky]

5 minutes ago, softbunnysunshine said:

Hey, I'm sorry that's happened to you. It's a good thing to call out bad people like that so I wouldn't say you should be sorry at all. It's a sad reality within the community which is completely discouraging to anyone who wants to pursue a DD/LG CG relationship, I hope you're doing okay. Sending hugs ❤️

I agree, but some think it's mean to do.

 

I've had many fake Dom's, and it's almost made me leave. I didn't because I really do need a caregiver in my life, I'm still searching but it's frustrating when many of the ones I seem to fit well with just end up ghosting me ;-;

I'm doing okie and so is the other girl I mentioned before ^-^

[Guest Runa]

47 minutes ago, Rangerducky said:

I e had the same problem, and there's one person in particular that's especially terrible. He does it to so many littles, and when he gets called out on it he deleted his account and makes a new one. I told an admin, but they haven't banned his newest one yet. His Username on here is HistoryNerd395. He doesn't really change his profile info or what he says in his personal ads. He promises you a happy life of traveling with him, he's a trucker, and marriage with having kids too. It's sick and twisted since when he finally convinces you to send private pictures, he unfollows you on everything and ghosts you within a day of doing it. I'm sorry for venting about this, but I just want to warn other littles away from him. I made friends with another girl he did this to, and she agrees that he shouldn't get away with it anymore and deserves to be called out on it. 

Perhaps you should speak to admin about this person and ask others have experienced the same thing to do the same?  In the forum guidelines we're encouraged to contact staff with concerns and provide screenshots of suspicious behaviour.

https://www.ddlgforum.com/staff/