Want vs Need?

[AlittleODD]

Hi Everyone, Thank you for taking the time to read this! 

So I'm really new to relationships in general; and now I have bumped into the issue of figuring out what is a Want and what is a Need.

I think my biggest problem with this is my overly literal way of thinking. "I have gone my whole life without this, so obviously I don't need it, I just want it."  Now I'm not sure this is the healthiest way to look at things.

I know it's different for everyone, but I was wondering how you deal with this issue, Personally?

Thanks in Advance 😁😁

[Little kaiya]

There's very little for my Daddy and I that we would classify as a "need" when it comes to our relationship and the DDlg elements. There are varying degrees of want that range from "that would be nice" to "without that it would be a relationship deal breaker". Need to us signifies "absolutely can't do without". 

Just because something is a want doesn't mean it can't be really important or a critical element. For us every element of DDlg is a want, just at varying degrees of the word and it's been healthy for us for the past 5+ years 😀  your mileage may vary.

Edited April 26, 2023 by Little kaiya

[Andriel_Isilien]

I have been working on understanding what my needs are through therapy (CBT and DBT). Most of my life I had to shut down my needs in order to survive and accommodate the wants of others. So, my steps to correct this is to be honest with myself on what my feelings are telling me. Acknowledgement comes first, then giving myself permission to feel my emotions. Feelings are feedback on what is going on internally; for example, a reaction to a need being compromised. This has been taking me A LOT of trial and error while making frequent appointments with a professional therapist to help talk me through these scenarios

[Vampiress]

I think a good way to classify wants vs needs in a relationship is figuring out if you could be happy without it in the relationship. If a lack of something is detrimental to you emotionally or mentally then I think that classifies more as a need. For me I think DD/lg is more of a want than a need, I think I could make a vanilla relationship work. For others that is non-negotiable and they need DD/lg to be happy in their relationship.

[lilpincess]

I think it all depends on a situation. Take a stuffie for example. In one case, a stuffie could be essential to you, maybe as a coping/comfort tool or what you need to embrace your little side. On the other hand, you could see a stuffie that you think is super cute and cuddly and you absolutely want it, but you won’t actually suffer if you don’t have it. Take everything on a case by case basis. I think you’ll discover a lot of yourself in the process